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garymuppet.bsky.social
Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
2,130 posts 2,425 followers 1,288 following
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Posts 31 Comments 17

I don't think Mat Ishbia's Suns are particularly well run but what I admire about them is that they're constantly doing 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. Is it a good something? Usually not, but they are just constantly, frantically trying to make changes and I find that weirdly relatable.

submitted 3 hours ago • 3 comments

Turning the music down while driving to better taste my cheeseburger

submitted 13 hours ago • 17 comments

Using a fake id to get the senior discount

submitted 10 hours ago • 1 comment

This is going in the books as the worst six month probationary period for a new employee ever

submitted 11 hours ago • 4 comments

Now you’re just a sample in a Doechii song.

submitted 10 hours ago • 0 comments

Sure, there was Google, but Gary was gonna fact-check you in real time using the 1985 almanac that came with his Carmen Sandiego game.

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

When you're an NBA draft prospect, do you have to wear a ball cap. What about a kicky beret

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

religion in the nineties was driving around in an old hatchback that had a “mean people suck” sticker slapped on its rusting bumper

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Look in the mirror and repeat: “YOU don’t know what the fuck YOU’RE doing!”

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Booing the Costco lady giving out shitty samples

submitted 2 days ago • 30 comments

“Walking tacos” are regular tacos that do cardio.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Every yoga pose I see I’m like “I can totally do that” but lemme tell you I totally can no

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

People who talk shit about sugar. Who was there for you when you were falling apart? Salad?

submitted 1 day ago • 14 comments

People will judge you for smoking until you explain that you inhaled a colony of bees and are trying to get them to calm down. They’ll leave you alone after that.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

No dinosaurs. Instead, field trips as an adult included visits to a failing septic system and the site of the 2024 sanitary sewer overflow.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Guy inventing Vans: shoes should look cool but always be very uncomfortable to wear

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

no i see that it says open with scissors and i have a pair a few feet away from me but imma go ahead and use my teeth

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

My cute new doctor asked if I think my recent general anxiety is due to the country devolving into authoritarian rule and I think I'm in love??!

submitted 3 days ago • 12 comments

There are only 3 movie plots: Muppets learn a lesson. Muppets teach a lesson. Muppets kill God in self defense.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

It’s Monday, guess what rhymes with Monday? Margarita

submitted 3 days ago • 30 comments

Wait. What? NBA Referee school is just 4 days??! That explains everything 🙃

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Hear me out: Shorter weeks, longer weekends.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

smoking weed in the late 90s and early 00s was a nightmare because half the songs on the radio had police sirens in them

submitted 4 days ago • 6 comments

how it feels to be outside

submitted 4 days ago • 6 comments

Hey I thought I would save everyone some time and potentially an Urgent Care trip by passing along that Downy Wrinkle Release DOES NOT, and I repeat DOES NOT, work on the human face.

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

World War 3 kinda sucks, but you know, it was either this or pronouns

submitted 4 days ago • 404 comments

Being spontaneous takes me 3-5 business days.

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

a band called Better Than Better Than Ezra and their hit song is ‘Great’ is this anything?

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

this? it's my emotional support cheesy gordita crunch with a Dorito shell

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

At Costco using a series of elaborate disguises each time I walk past the coffee samples

submitted 5 days ago • 5 comments

I hurt my back so I ate a whole pizza but it didn't make it feel better I'm out of ideas 🤷‍♀️

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment