georgebas5.bsky.social
Bouncer. Security guard. Sometimes write for @theguardian.com @washingtonpost.com @timeshighered.bsky.social @nytimes.com @financialtimes.com @newscientist.com Mostly at work opening doors and stopping fights.
758 posts
174 followers
142 following
Active Commenter
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Had a domestic murder in the job last year. Horrible all around - still keep thinking about it. A movie quote I sometimes repeat to my daughter: “Don’t trust boys.”
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Now I know why my mum told me to stop staring at the microwave.
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Based on how in photos they’re always too scared to snatch someone one-on-one (and the fact they’ve been barred from raiding restaurants), a better acronym for ICE could be I Can’t Even Hold Onto Lentil Enchiladas.
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Based on how in photos they’re always too scared to snatch someone one-on-one (and the fact they’ve been barred from raiding restaurants), a better acronym for ICE could be I Can’t Even Hold Onto Lentil Enchiladas.
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Had to fish two blokes out of a fountain one summer shift. They didn’t want to move even when I listed all the stuff they were paddling in (pigeon shit, lost phones, slops from discarded coffees). Men get near water and their senses shut down. They all think they’re Patrick Swayze in Point Break.
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Birbalsingh is a double agent. The clues are all there. Her name’s an anagram of hire libs, bring ah tank.
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Hannah Ingram-Moore + Liz Truss
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Once watched a rat jump into a bin on CCTV.
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Those gnashers … It’s like two mopeds coming towards you, both on full beam.
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Looks like @laurentomasi.bsky.social got caught in the crossfire the same way Bambi’s mum tried to stampede the hunter.
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Believe pub signs.
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Crystalmethnacht
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Can you sum it up in a word?
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Can you still get over for coffee and TV?
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TACO = Trump Always Chickens Out
WENDY = When Elon Nationally Divorces You
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TACO = Trump Always Chickens Out
WENDY = When Elon Nationally Divorces You
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Kojima’s biggest influence.
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Looks like a PSG fan on the wrong end of a police water cannon. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
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Twitter.
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I reckon it’s more likely that X Æ A-12 put boot polish on his dad’s telescope, and then told him to look up because Zuckerberg had made a working jet-pack.
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Nearly spat my tea out when they only used “chaos” and “fuming” while covering Wembley last weekend.
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There must have been a psychopath on duty at the BBFC the day that Arachnophia (1990) was passed as PG. The only way you’ll get something scarier on eight legs is if you make Jedward stand on chairs.
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What do I do when sleeping becomes woke?
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We just bought the Telegraph Media Group - but after realising it’s running stories that are about as plausible as an ashtray on a motorbike, we’d like our $675 million back.
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Father’s Day.
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Will be interesting when Musk wipes out American Water and replaces that with AI.
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“Boris Johnson brands” sounds like a folder at the Child Maintenance Service.
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Have fun on the island and give your barbers the weekend off 😎
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He should’ve called it Could It Be Malbec.
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300 million Oceanians can’t be wrong. Now on sale in Eurasia!
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I get the feeling that the only thing Trump’s even run past is the salad cart.
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Unless you’re an orphan and they’re an animated giant.
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I can imagine Farage studying your chart, shouting “Poppycock” and then quickly ordering passports. Non-blue ones.
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I can’t believe the Beeb would broadcast such a dodgy translation.
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Unlucky Jim. Hope you got some peas on it. I feel you’d be a better class of celebrity tequila casualty if I scooped you up in the job. Not like the Big Brother winner who we had to tell off for trying to sell powders to his fan club.
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My kid used one for a single second and it turned her into Mr Tumble.
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They really need a winger who can play both sides. Give a red rosette to Alejandro Garnacho.
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The punishment is they make you sit on Thatcher’s statue.
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Trump is allowed to show off FIFA memorabilia as he was once on loan to Tottenham Bonespurs.
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It’s almost like they want you to forget the real Trump/eagle photo.
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Swarm don’t reform.
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He’s convinced the hard drive’s on a council tip in south Wales. By law that means the film has to be called Barry Bin Fun.
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Obligatory @accidentalp.bsky.social klaxon …
Zuck: “I’ve probably got more friends than you’ve got cows. How many cows have you got?”
Farmer: “I’ve got a hundred cows.”
Zuck: “I’ve got 104 friends.”
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🫡
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There was no doubt 👍🏻