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girlicbread.bsky.social
salty girl with butter and herbs private twitter vibes on bluesky main following back other queer women politics-free account: @girlicbutter.bsky.social
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sometimes I meet another trans girl and forget to tell her for a week or a month or until she figures it out based on what I talk about
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I spent the last 3 days working with a woman who said some homophobic things at the end of today and I tried to just stay friendly but right now we're friends and she's protecting me from the weird guy we work with because I didn't come out to her 3 days ago
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its not a philosophy it's just. my body. like I tell other trans girls when i meet them usually but until a couple years ago everyone knew on sight and I'm not used to having to tell people anymore but they also don't self-select anymore
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i haven't been invisibly queer since i was about 20 and now i'm 30 and i have to remember how to do that or make the decision to change something about myself to be visible again but i like myself how i am
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like i want to make new friends who i can just be out to from day 1 but when i was in the 1st closet i very much befriended people first to see what they were like and then came out to the friends i thought were safe and they became my inner circle as i started to come out more broadly
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idk what the Dark Internet is but the random girl I met once in college who was showing me how to use the new internet sliders got v concerned and told me I can't just go there then I looked at the screen and woke up maybe we're all the Dark Internet
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what's important is that this word can't mention any particular identity at all, however broad, it has to focus on the power dynamic itself in a way that includes everyone who isn't queer in the power dynamic. "sexism" is a powerful word because regardless of how we define it, everyone has a sex.
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what we really need is an "ism" but it can't be 9 syllables like "cisheteronormativism" which I have in fact used in conversation many times but as a word, a linguistic device intended for effective communication, it's atrocious and i hate it. 3-4 syllables, 5 tops, like a normal word.
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the language of "them-phobia" whether it's homophobia or lesbophobia or biphobia or transphobia or xenophobia or or so on inherently frames the identity of the harmed as the cause of the aggressor's actions, rather than focusing on the actions themselves
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it's almost like we're victim-blaming with our language around queer oppression. "homophobia" implies that an aggressor was driven to their behavior out of fear of the gayness of the person they harmed. the blame is on the gayness.
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I think we can handle talking about harmful behavior more directly. verbiage like "transphobia" requires the harmed person to self-identify as trans, "gender intolerance" encompasses experiences like those of gender non-conforming cis people being harassed in bathroom
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the queer community has always been a panoply of everyone whose identity or life narrative doesn't fit into the dominant narrative and it's beautiful that we have all this new language to describe ourselves but identity labels are not clubs
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all team sports should be gender neutral if there's a difference between the men's and women's rules like in lacrosse everyone should play by the version that results in fewer concussions
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this could have repercussions for other medications like adhd medications and vaccines
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does skrmetti overturn harris funeral homes
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this bar normally has a $5 cover on saturdays!!! they say they're all about "turning straight money into gay money" so why are their prices jacked up on the most ally-free night of the year??
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the stupid part is i volunteered at pride to meet other volunteers and we were all too spread out during the event to talk to each other so like if I wanna go talk to the other volunteers and get numbers I have to pay to get into the after-party
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i live at altitude I could probably still burn wearing low spf
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oh god yeah I burn like a marshmallow these days
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it wasn't to avoid sunscreen it was more bc I slept in 45° the night before