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glamourousscum.bsky.social
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat. I also like cats.
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When someone buys a carpet cleaner, I assume they killed someone.

submitted 4 days ago • 15 comments

If you're ever bored archive.org is a free internet library with billions of hours of stuff between movie books music etc.

submitted 4 days ago • 140 comments

Amen.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I use “tho” when I text because I firmly believe that whilst “thought” deserves all those letters, “though”” does not.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Commas are important. - Shut the fuck up, please. - Shut the fuck up please. Not in this example, but you got the idea.

submitted 8 days ago • 16 comments

It’s funny how you don’t want things to smell fishy until it means you have a view of the water.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

My girlfriend just walked into a glass wall and I’m sorry but that will never not be funnny.

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

I know drugs are great and all but have you ever used nasal spray and had full, unrestricted access to air?

submitted 44 days ago • 1 comment

If all social media disappeared tomorrow, I would at the very least have gained the knowledge of using pickle juice to help with muscle cramps via TikTok from Tommy Lee’s wife.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

I will stop the date and go home if I see you break this rule. Also, if you take it from the buffet, You Eat It All (discounting surprises).

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

This describes 87% of my life.

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

Forever wishing I lived in the Star Trek universe where earth is a socialist utopia

submitted 58 days ago • 103 comments

There are two wolves inside of me: the highly functioning drunk wolf, and the sober twitchy hyper anxious wolfdoodle.

submitted 58 days ago • 1 comment

And so we enter another season of me watching award shows and managing my “speech clock” anxiety.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Yes, this.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

I am in two fantasy football championship matches this week. One with Jayden Daniels as my QB and one against him. So there is a pocket of points I need from him today. I don’t know how to root for this. “Go! But not too much!”

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Tonight’s in house debate: if nostrils were sex organs, would we, as a society, get over our disgust of snot to get up in that business? I mean we totally would, right?

submitted 77 days ago • 1 comment

“Dan Skipper? Really Detroit?” - every manager of literally any other Lion right now

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

So help me if we are on a road trip and you whip out a hard-boiled egg as a “healthy snack” you are dead to me

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Recite 80% of a movie.....what are you picking?

submitted 84 days ago • 1 comment

I’m the kind of person who gets a 50-50 chance wrong 90% of the time.

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 85 days ago • 190 comments

Man, I sure do miss daylight in the daytime.

submitted 84 days ago • 1 comment

Well, that Chase TD sure helps ease my mind. Here’s hoping that gets me through! #SFB14

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

Well this Bengals game is just a nutty ride eh?

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

A great way to open a horror movie is to start with a radically different kind of movie, only for that movie to be derailed by a horror movie. If your first act is a movie people would watch to the end without any fantastical elements, then you’ve really got something when the monsters show up.

submitted 85 days ago • 169 comments

I am on the cusp of playoff spots in about ten leagues, so this week 14 is a nailbiter for me.

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments

A movie you’ve never seen that everyone else has.

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

You know she’s been into the wine when she starts “Hundo P”ing.

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

post somebody you’ve been told you look like who you definitely don’t look like

submitted 88 days ago • 1 comment

I never thought the day would finally come…

submitted 88 days ago • 1 comment

Wait…goats have accents?!

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

Jayden Reed is still on the team right?

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

I’m so excited to see Steve Zahn! If you’re watching the same show I’m watching, you’ll know what I mean.

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

“Knowledge is power”, she whispers to herself as she looks up the lyrics to These Eyes, trying to figure out which word she’s forgetting from the chorus.

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments