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godshawk.bsky.social
northern european mutant for hire. sometimes I post boobs and pussy, sometimes little plastic men 🔞
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accidentally let slip my drive for self improvement, actualisation and freedom is just morbidity in really tight booty shorts

i can/will be delicate again in a sunlit and surrounded by flowers way, rather than a screaming and snatching my hand back kind of way.

if my battles start looking less like battles, and I can get the moving parts that cause me active anxiety back to a point of unthinking (I pray soon), I can get back to actually living. maybe quitting meds this summer is unrealistic, but having friends and going to a few nearby places isn't

I don't know what I'm into or what I want anymore

time to admit that I transitioned to live out a yaoi fantasy (being a girl and an uke at the same time)

i never would’ve transitioned if i hadn’t gotten to know a bunch of trans guys over the years. i wouldn’t have known what was possible. those men saved my life. they are my brothers. if u fuck with trans men u fuck with me

i am so triggered this week, fraught, frantic. my life in print seems so stupid and small, and someone else holds it in their hands, only for it to then be handed to a cabal of genderwonks for approval or rejection. meanwhile i still have to look for a job and do laundry and pay rent

"We aren't taking your rights away" "We aren't taking your rights away" "We aren't taking your rights away" "We aren't taking your rights away" "You never had those rights to begin with"

most effective offline brain dewormers for trans women: - Knowing one (1) queer cis woman who's normal about trans women - An environment where you see a representative sample of what women look like in the general population - Accepting that you're allowed to want things

An alternative flag for the United Nations.

documents collated, attempt to email estranged partner, admin for the day done. really don't like these large pdfs of evidence

The UK media war on trans people in one horrifying graph. From two to three articles a month in the ‘90s to over 300 today. One month 2 years ago had over 1,000. The vast majority of these are anti-trans false conspiracy based. The dehumanisation of a minority is unprecedented since the 1930s.

do i feel remorse for smashing up the rotting hulk of vehicle thats sat in my driveway for over a year? no. do i feel remorse for tearing into the shed with my sword? no. temporarily embarrassed by my own rage, sure but i'm sick of this useless old man's rusting shite blocking access to the property

I'm angry and impatient and vile, thoroughly vile

OK so what do I do with my grc application if my estranged partner doesn't get back to me. abuse is documented in my evidence (letters from a crisis centre, counselling, letters from GIC, cancelled visa application). I sign the stat dec saying my spouse hasnt done their part and apply anyway?

boy came over and was immediately making jokes that put me off fucking him. I got ready for nothing. utter disappointment. I got plenty of cuddles and kisses but flinched at any attempt at more. gross. boring.

this GRC and having to contact my ex is all very triggering. i could do drugs about it, but first i'm going out on my bike again. i can do drugs about it later

lmao exw-aife

having an estranged wife is difficult because things got so bad I ran away, but now it's been 8 years, time has passed, I'm still stuck married to a woman on the other side of the world when we're both straight leaning now. we still care if anything bad happens to the other and can talk now I guess

just need my GRC stat dec witnessed, my birth cert and marriage cert scanning, and my estranged former partner to complete the dreaded T469. I've messaged her, lets hope she's feeling amenable :) all my other docs and reports scanned and sorted. admin!

its not ez pz, i'm having a fucking meltdown over scanning documents

35 pages of medical evidence to scan, 30 pages of evidence i'm a living person to scan also, plus two stat decs and two medical reports from experts. ez pz

'sorry if you have a shit day as a result of me dealing with something in my timeless, classic, heavy-handed way.' no worries brother, thanks for waking me up with that notification, what am I supposed to do with that

this isn't a dunk i think this is what most ppl think are 'british values' democracy: a choice between different brands of the far right law: courts can be bought individual liberty: i was jus stripped of my civil rights mutual respect: press regularly smears me - a rape survivor - as a rapist

you can't say 'I bet you have some fucked up fetishes considering you get bashful over the most innocent stuff' and then refuse to elaborate. I'm pretty openly fucked up, but that boils down to vanilla with some loose roleplay at most. excuse me for being boring, preverts