Profile avatar
gruffalotrace.bsky.social
Refugee from the Bad Place. Generally sarcastic, sometimes amusing, occasionally serious, generally dull. Zero life plan. Love a Bourbon. Dark sense of humour. @maplefiltered over there
1,787 posts 326 followers 141 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter
Posts 37 Comments 13

Gonna change my name to Eeyore. It was raining on me and the sky looked like this.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I like to think it works this way.

submitted 42 minutes ago • 1 comment

submitted 54 minutes ago • 2 comments

If this post gets 1m likes I will legally change my name to Diarrhea

submitted 54 minutes ago • 2 comments

Fully enjoying the new Powerglide I'm using for the first time. Now sliding through my fingers with ease and is hitting the balls beautifully. *New pool cue

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

Just noticed how many Marvins are left. Those who know, know.

submitted 9 hours ago • 1 comment

Clearing out my old computer and found a photo I took of the worlds tallest cat in Mile End about 10 yrs ago.

submitted 12 hours ago • 7 comments

Post the same actor in two roles that show their range.

submitted 12 hours ago • 3 comments

I did this video for TikTok. The ‘spin’ really made me laugh.

submitted 15 hours ago • 3 comments

“YOU COULD JUST CALL THE DOUBLE QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE A HALF POUNDER WITH CHEESE” I scream while being dragged out of McDonald’s in handcuffs

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

keep wondering why I’m struggling so hard to motivate myself it’s not depression. it’s demoralization.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

A 99 with a flake would sort me

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

God my notifications are dead today. Do you mean to tell me I have to post something for y’all to give me attention?

submitted 1 day ago • 20 comments

Stop fetishizing women wearing glasses; bitch don’t you know I’m nearly blind and that that’s a medical condition? Not gonna be so sexy when I poke your eye out in the middle of the night trying to feel my way to a gd lamp switch.

submitted 661 days ago • 4 comments

I’m staring a topless ride-sharing company called B’Uber.

submitted 173 days ago • 10 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 228 comments

We hired an entire ice cream van today as a treat for the last week of term. I ordered vanilla cones for my kids. "Do you want them whipped?" asked the guy serving us. "No, they've been very well behaved today," I replied.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Nobody in human history has ever been able to make cocaine less cool than Donald Trump Jr.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 379 comments

Store me in a cool, dry, dark place because I now identify as a potato.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I wanted to take her to Poundtown, but only got as far as

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

Fuck me. This guy is just insanely talented. So much depth, heart, emotion in his tracks. Just...wow. youtu.be/35yALr_opeg?...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

they should install big ramps on the side of the interstate that you can launch your car off if you just decide you don't care anymore

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

it’s very simple: if a woman deletes her account, i assume she got tired of being harassed. if a man deletes his account, i assume women got tired of being harassed by him.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

There is only one kind of glitter. Fucking

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

we have air conditioners, yes, but what about air shampooers

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

ai but only for the specific task of labeling accounts who don't get jokes

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

don't fuck with me today or I'll turn this migraine into a yourgraine

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

Hello!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I feel like I need to initiate conversation with my neighbours. For no other reason than to find out when they go away. I need the outlet of very loud music late into the night occasionally but I also hate the idea of disruption. Really hate peopling.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

That's enough time stood at the bar with Stepdad and his entourage! (Hate standing in the way) Peace and quiet in the garden with my day-off sidekick 😁😁

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Me: *tips the waiter* Waiter: *angrily climbing out of the lobster tank*

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Sometimes the people we love build an emotional fortress around themselves, not to keep us out, but to hold their world together.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

My apologies to everyone who's been hurt by my behavior. If I could do things over, I would do everything in my power to not get caught.

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

Just got off the sofa to go for another ride. Both fucking knees have suddenly got pain under the kneecap 🤬🤬 wtf??

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

TOKYO SALE! These are all the prints floating around my studio from May-June. If you’d like one or two on your wall can get these at a discount. A5 £10 A4 £19 A3 £30 A2 Trooper £50 DM if interested. All prices include P&P but only if you’re in the UK. Thank you!

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment