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hoagiesleep.bsky.social
I wake up thinking about sandwiches
44 posts 71 followers 190 following
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[German pervert voice] I'm a scat man

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

If one guy holds most of the tech people rely on, it is a vulnerability, but also it's one guy: as a global population we should be able to easily just take it from him, so it seems to me the real vulnerability is an internalized belief that private ownership is more sacrosanct than human thriving.

submitted 2 days ago • 124 comments

The lasting legacies of Americans' collective responses to every major crisis in my lifetime has been the entire society becoming markedly worse. Give us a challenge and we'll slam our own dicks in a car door while yelling racial slurs 100% of the time

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Going through old pictures and I found this one from 2022 of a guy who went full road rage on me and then rear ended the car in front of him while doing this, immediately after the picture was taken. Top 10 life moment for me

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I could absolutely run all day on the afterglow of being the guy who throws an escaped ball back over the fence for some neighborhood kids. That shit feels like a short film

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Me: A sandwich is a book made of bread that tells the story of the ingredients Bank clerk: *frantically pressing the silent alarm*

submitted 19 days ago • 21 comments

the US libs can't believe the economy is bad because there was a blue president too recently. once the red president has been in there a while they will mysteriously come around

submitted 19 days ago • 213 comments

I would hate to eat a spider

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Elon spent months of the campaign jumping across stages like this to signify "X." He carried a sink into the Twitter offices. You can't tell me that this man doesn't obsessively consider the symbolic gestures he makes in public. He's an overthinking dork. That salute was exactly what it looked like.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

[petting the cat on my lap] "he's my guy, big guy in the house, toughest guy around, my buddy man, my good guy" [cat gets up to leave] "fine then, fuck off. fuckin piece a shit"

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

jokes on you, I can’t be killed: my perception of time will end at the exact moment I lose consciousness, therefore I will technically live forever

submitted 46 days ago • 23 comments

someone has stolen my data from anyone i've ever given it to. every website has 800 tracking cookies. i log in and see stupid opinions and propaganda on every social app. who cares, man.

submitted 47 days ago • 5 comments

Many of us in the hoagie fandom have dedicated years of our lives to promoting the hoagie lifestyle. I understand that new users are excited, but please remember to respect the longtime hoagieheads who built this community up from nothing before you start spamming the forum with stale Dagwood memes

submitted 49 days ago • 27 comments

Welp. Got kicked out of my civil war reenactment club for merely suggesting that we start meetings with a land acknowledgement

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

To an asshole, all virtue is "virtue signaling."

submitted 53 days ago • 298 comments

The Adventures of Pete & Pete was Nickelodeon’s A24 movie

submitted 62 days ago • 5 comments

Hearing Matt Christman back on the most recent episode of Chapo made my heart do the thing from the grinch where it grows 3x. Apparently it's a very serious problem and I will be taking a hiatus from podcasting until further notice

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Name a non-LOTR character that could resist the One Ring

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

I heard there was a secret ooze that turned four reptiles into dudes, but you don’t really care for turtles do ya

submitted 70 days ago • 57 comments

(Ebenezer Scrooge on his way to debut his new “fun” persona to the family of the employee he’s impoverished:) Maybe I’ll razz Bob a little bit when I get there. I think we have that kind of relationship

submitted 79 days ago • 17 comments

telling the Benihana chef he's made a powerful enemy today but it's drowned out by laughter as he flicks a 7th shrimp into my shirt pocket

submitted 82 days ago • 22 comments

I think this is the most I have ever loved a restaurant I've never been to

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

Eating the best brownie of my life right now, offline

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

[wormy dipshit whose entire lifestyle and worldview is propped up by direct and indirect violence that they are privileged enough to be insulated from, and who only speaks up for an ethical respect for human life when the most wicked devils alive finally get theirs voice] I condemn all violence!

submitted 88 days ago • 4 comments