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howardm.bsky.social
I can explain https://howardmittelmark.com/about
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My friend with benefits's friend with benefits is my enemy.

Arguing about whether it is or isn't fascism is sort of pointless because it is obviously really fucking bad whatever name you assign it.

Topiary slug

The Cartooning of America

uh oh Pete Hegseth sending out a video to DoD employees asserting Elon Musk *is* cool

The two questions you have to answer to get a job in this administration: 1. Did Trump win the 2020 election? 2. Is Elon Musk funny and cool?

Making government more efficient by eliminating any distinction between trolling and governing.

“Grandma, all the women on Battle of the Network Stars can’t be the whore of Babylon,” I reasoned.

Genetic engineer attempting to design a creature whose flesh replicates the taste of the vatmeat he grew up with.

I'm guessing Popeye might be recently out of copyright.

This Saturday the 22nd on @hallmark.bsky.social, SISTERHOOD, INC., written by me and Hilary Galanoy. Below is a tiny sneak preview! www.youtube.com/watch?v=85kB...

“i uh, iuh, i-i-iuhnm starting a new government agency called bofa. whatislikeuh, what isah, what is bofa you ask? bof of um erm hrm ah, like, umhrm. like. you know. likeyouknow? likeyouknow? bofa these ahahrm humha ah, bof of ah, both of the uh, the uh, the uh, the uh, the uh, the uh, you know, ha”

Backgammon: for when you want to feel sophisticated but a bright six-year-old could beat you at chess.

Damn man he actually said it out loud

Adams letting ICE on Rikers features as #13 on this morning’s “list of President Trump’s wins” sent out by the White House

The #giftlink should be working on this article. Thanks to Peter for that, too.

Staring forlornly through the restaurant window like a 1920s cartoon orphan, my steak frites forgotten on the table in front of me, my eyes never leave the cigarette in the hand of the young guy from the next table, outside having a smoke.

There are novels that start with a long journey by train, and there's pretentious, experimental claptrap.

This is a very cool and strange novel, and honestly made me realize that Justin's whole "I'm just a normal, likeable guy" thing is a total sham.

Looking forward to moving into the "He really let himself go" space in the second and third quarter of the year.

Not for long.

“Horn connects the dots as diligently as any detective between 1960s-era housing legislation, corruption in the mortgage and banking industries, and an explosion in violent street crime in Brooklyn’s East New York neighborhood ….” The Progressive. bit.ly/42xlQBP

It has taken many years of all of us working together, and it was wrong in this case, but I still think it's a real achievement that autocorrect just changed my "duck" to "fuck".

Least believable thing about Severance is that Devon is married to Ricken.

Worth noting, I thought.

Apparently, some people find my grunts unseemly.

Speed-dating, but different kinds of cake.

When it's spontaneous human combustion, everybody's all, ooh, how mysterious and interesting, but when it's because of all my time and effort, suddenly it's a crime.

I am no David Brooks fan, but. www.nytimes.com/2025/02/13/o...

Praise for The Killing Fields of East New York: “Horn unspools a fast-paced and at times crackling yarn about the Brooklyn prosecutors and F.B.I. agents who pursued predatory lenders and brokers … a compelling reminder of the catastrophic consequences of white-collar crime.” New York Times

Omelas, but the president gets elected on the promise of more children, and televised.

Not to take anything away from Tom Robbins, I think that is a lot more common than the writer of this obituary imagines.

Three dentists think about the same squirrel

If you watch Super Bowl LIX on Sunday you'll see 50 commercials featuring senescent celebrities, callow “creators,” and inane AI pitches. What will be missing? Jingles. My tribute to a lost age of advertising: fritinancy.substack.com/p/jingles