icarussscrawls.bsky.social
Back at it again.
[He/Him] 20M
HW: 230 | CW: 216 | LW: 185
GW1: 200 | GW2: 180 | UGW: 105
BMI: 35.8 (5'6") Bulimia/EDNOS
Pro-Recovery for thee, but not for me.
Remember when the butterfly emoji meant you were pro? Bit ironic isn't it.
308 posts
115 followers
106 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
comment in response to
post
people were like, weird and parasocial about it and like, trying to 'ana-thruth' real people.
But like it makes sense that using a content creator's weight loss to trigger yourself is a bit odd, I guess I have biases lol.
comment in response to
post
Late reply, but yeah that's totally fair. I personally (genuinely) don't really understand the difference between grabbing pics of some random person online for thinspo versus a content creator, bc like idk I don't think anyone would like to find that out, but idk. I figured the issue was that some-
comment in response to
post
No I think I'm right, he's def slimmed down, not to be weird about it tho.
comment in response to
post
Also I don't want to be hashtag weird about this but he's kinda low-key thinspo in that first pic, did he lose weight recently?
comment in response to
post
Everyone's hating his 80's realness, SORRY WAIT HOLD ON AWOOGA HELP WHY IS THIS SO ATTRACTIVE
comment in response to
post
Drink every time someone's told you "you're so mature for your age" amiright
comment in response to
post
24-12-24
[Do I log my drinks? Yes. Will I ever count alcohol cals? Not a fucking chance. Is this a day late? Yeah. Whatever, bite me. Feliz Navidad y Año Nuevo.]
comment in response to
post
23-12-24
[In Utah now. Smoked some weed. They have 4 dogs and 3 cats. They're all super friendly. :) Busy day otherwise and so I'm not super happy with my eating today but it's whatever.]
comment in response to
post
Both will ask about me being trans but, I don't know how to explain it, when the privileged ppl ask, it gives me the ick.
I'd rather someone say "You know I've never met a trans dude before, do you like, get a penis?" than, "Oh it must be so hard to be transgender, what made you decide to be a man?"
comment in response to
post
Drunk ppl let you talk about fn4f all you want, but the ppl here only drink L4Cro¡x and talk about career paths (but not if it's a minimum wage job or wanting to be a non-prestigous baker) and how college is going (very badly).
comment in response to
post
I know how to talk to working/lower class adults who don't care if you're weird, but I have no idea how to talk to middle/upper class adults who see you as an extension of your parent's reputation.
comment in response to
post
Lol, I personally just live in a sea of scorpios, most all family is Scorpio, almost all of my friends are Scorpio, and so on, it's really funny but means that all the compatibility stuff gets thrown out the window lol
comment in response to
post
Ooh! I'm a Pisces moon too! Scorpio sun tho, which is devastating since I'm not really a fan of Vr¡ska. T4vr0s is way cooler imo.
comment in response to
post
I hope they've forgiven me at least. I don't want to be screamed at for Christmas. I just want my mom and brother back. I want Dylan back but he's dead. Whatever.
comment in response to
post
it, or that I was literally in the hospital for an attempt while he did it, or that he explicitly said in his note that it wasn't my fault, or really anything. I killed him, and I should've just suffered in silence and let him hurt me and never spoke up about him touching me, but whatever.
comment in response to
post
So obviously it's a really good idea to fly miles and miles out to visit my mom and older brother for an entire 5 days by myself.
Both of which I don't know if they still blame me for Dylan killing himself. Which will really decide it in the end really. It doesn't matter that I was 14 when he did-
comment in response to
post
Ugh. Sorry. Whatever. It's happening, I'm not fucking getting into my mom, because I love Alan so much, but still can't help but hate him sometimes times, but even talking about my mom makes my head scramble itself and makes me want to rip my hair out and scream really long.
comment in response to
post
BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO TALK TO ME OR EVEN SEND AN UPDATE OR SOMETHING, WHEN HE'S THE ONE WHO HURT ME, AND I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE APOLOGIZING AND MAKING PEACE, AND HE. MOVED. TO. UTAH. AND I JUST FIND OUT A WEEK AGO! FROM MY STEP DAD!!!! NOT HIM. AND I STILL WANT HIM TO JUST FUCKIN LOVE ME.
comment in response to
post
And I spend hours on public transit getting to our hometown out in the country and usually $50 or more if the one bus into town decided to fuck off that day, and he just makes me feel like shit, and THEN HE MOVED OUT OF STATE AND HE NEVER TOLD ME. I DONT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE ANYMORE-
comment in response to
post
I had to fucking sleep in the airport because I spent so much on him, that I couldn't afford to get a hotel room. And that was the last time he actually hung out with me, every other time he avoids me and glares at me like I'm the fucking plague, WHEN HE ASKED ME TO COME VISIT HIM IN FUCKALL NOWHERE
comment in response to
post
at my head! And then I had to go back to him grovelling for reconnection, for a little bit of family back after I had been spit out by foster care, not even wanting support, I fucking paid $950 for him on my birthday, and he was awful to me and left me without a hotel on my last night in Vegas, and-
comment in response to
post
Which is hilarious because half the fuckin time, he fucking invites me! And I still flinch around him because he blamed me for Dylan's death and before I was put in foster care, he started actually abusing me, not fighting, he would get angry at me and just punch me in the face or throw something-
comment in response to
post
F3f!!! You're actually like, enlightened, for giving her a shark tail.
comment in response to
post
20-12-24
[Urgh. Really good week so far. Not happy about visiting mom Monday. But it's already been decided, all the way till Friday. In Utah. By myself. Without fully having assurance that they aren't gonna be awful to me again. If any of them try to hit me I'm gonna jump. But yayyyyy... 😮💨]
comment in response to
post
-the story being secretive about it, more just didn't want to accidentally put triggering art into the story, since I've already put up a note about not glamorizing that stuff, and it'd look really bad if midway through a chapter there's just thinspo.
comment in response to
post
Ty! And sounds good, I think I'm just a sucker for cheek definition lol, so pulling back on it a bit can help.
For the story I've already made it clear he's disordered, plus also has addiction and money issues as factors instead of being strictly a story about ED's. So I'm not really worried about
comment in response to
post
Ty!!! <3
comment in response to
post
BHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD