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ifihadahifi.bsky.social
I write. Stories, sketches, monologues, plays... mainly funny stuff (or so I've been told.) Sometimes people pay me for jokes which is very nice of them. Fuelled by whisky.
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Posts 11 Comments 39

Old chap eating breakfast at the next table. "What's this lickle bit of toast, I already have two bits 'ere!" "It's a hash brown, dad." "Eh?" "It's fried potato. A hash brown." "It's yeller not brown." The fast-paced world of post-war food can be challenging for the elderly.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

When I was younger I used to be slightly embarrassed by going anywhere on my own. A cafe, pub etc. The perceived shame of being alone but now I bloody love it! Sat in Morrisons now having a full English and working on a script. It's brilliant.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I usually hang my wet washing on one of the pupils in my class. Schoolboy airer. #LunchPun

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Nice start to the morning! squareword.org 1117: 7 guesses 🟨🟩🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨🟨🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 <6:🟩 <11:🟨 <16:🟧 16+:🟥 #squareword #squareword1117

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Hot farts always stink. I'd like to know the reason for this but can't be arsed looking it up. Pun intended. Also, sorry everyone in the office today.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

When I found I'd just missed out on entering the Contortionist of the Year competition I was kicking myself #LunchPun

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I was almost late for my lecture on cocaine awareness. Talk about cutting it fine. #LunchPun

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Wordle 1,342 2/6 🟦⬛⬛🟦⬛ 🟧🟧🟧🟧🟧 Still chasing that perfect hit but that will do for now!

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Huge sinkhole in the UK. Huge arsehole in the US.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I'm suffering from an addiction to collecting 80s music. But I'm not sure I have the cure. #LunchPun

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Fascist shit update.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments