ifihadahifi.bsky.social
I write. Stories, sketches, monologues, plays... mainly funny stuff (or so I've been told.) Sometimes people pay me for jokes which is very nice of them. Fuelled by whisky.
1,153 posts
122 followers
114 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
comment in response to
post
If they are at the same time we need to see pictures.
comment in response to
post
I didn't even know he'd done anything else after leaving Eastenders.
comment in response to
post
Make them and they will come.
comment in response to
post
No. Leave them. These are sort of people we need to die young.
comment in response to
post
You're not a member of the armed forces, you'll be fine.
comment in response to
post
He'll add you on Facefuck soon enough. All will be revealed.
comment in response to
post
I bought an acrylic cock off Lovehoney. Oh wait...
comment in response to
post
Sheffield then.
comment in response to
post
Tbh if you were a short arsed man with size 13 hooves you'd look pretty fucking odd.
comment in response to
post
It's not quite anonymous, they have user names like Weatherfanny or Dorset Dave. It's more wholesome than posting pictures of your tea on Instagram.
comment in response to
post
As a writer, it's always best to ensure that your opening sentence proves that you are such.
comment in response to
post
Rather than spending the journey tapping him on the shoulder saying "Oi, Steve it's me."
comment in response to
post
It was a simpler time. While we were mocking Joey we weren't knifing each other on the way to school.
comment in response to
post
Never known that round my way. They're all at A&E, filling the corridors with trolleys.
comment in response to
post
It's the bloody puff test I hate. And not the one where they ask if you like men.
comment in response to
post
Or Janet Porter in the original.
comment in response to
post
Mmmm. Schwiiing! Should be called Michael Lubricant.
comment in response to
post
Fucking hell I'm eating Nik Naks, man.
comment in response to
post
Maybe 4 is a bit young, Terry.
comment in response to
post
Cheers.
comment in response to
post
It's not worth a cry though.
comment in response to
post
If you can fart and be heard on Euston station you deserve some kind of award. And a thorough rectal examination.
comment in response to
post
A new low bar has been set from an account where you can't move for tripping over bars.
comment in response to
post
What 𝘪𝘴 an ambulance station?
comment in response to
post
Gotta take the wins.
comment in response to
post
Can I ask what you mean by Google? Do you mean the entire ecosystem from Maps to Photos to Chrome and search, Drive, Meet etc.?
comment in response to
post
Until the bell tolls for midnight. Pro magpie tip. They often forage in pairs so if I just see one I always hang around till I see the other. Unless I'm driving...
comment in response to
post
There's this great new film you're going to love...
comment in response to
post
Lies! Sainsbury's don't sell extra large condoms. I've looked.
comment in response to
post
Because the ramifications of historic change happen in a time travel setting where the results are instant upon returning to the present. People don't think long term. Evolution/climate change/social disintegration is happening but we're too close to it to notice therefore think nothing is changing.
comment in response to
post
Only if you want a swift punch to the throat.
comment in response to
post
It's not about you joggers who go round and round and round. Parkrun!
comment in response to
post
That discount comes in the form of the help yourself/ scan another/lighter product feature.
comment in response to
post
I've lost count of the number of recipes where you use a whole onion.
comment in response to
post
OnePlus Nord 2T
Oppo Reno
RedMi Note
Nothing 2a
Xiaomi 12
All <£200 and close to stock as negligible. Nothing is British too, with Chinese backing.
comment in response to
post
Who are these "those of us who watch" of which you speak. Surely they could all fit on your sofa.
comment in response to
post
My favourite ones are those with audio small print which is gabbled at 3x speed to fit all the Ts&Cs in. And by favourite I mean the opposite.
comment in response to
post
I'd give my right arm to be in Def Leppard.
comment in response to
post
Kids or weddings?