its-chusday.bsky.social
🏳️🌈 she/her. Just a woman who loves her cat. @prairiesfire.bsky.social
600 posts
33 followers
19 following
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I like hitting them all with blocks like whack-a-mole
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-The final fight was basically all in 5 FPS and I couldn't see shit, but I won, hooray. I think it would be a more fun finale if the game wasn't so poorly optimized for console. But since it was, it was just a blind slog with fingers crossed. Oh well.
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-Persuaded Alistair to become king despite his bitching and moaning. You're a grown man, Alistair, use your agency any day now if you'd like.
-Made his life worse by asking him to sleep with Morrigan to create a baby that would tank the kill shot from the archdemon. He accepted.
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-Saved the Mages. Really hated the tower design though, was lowkey making me wish I nuked it. /j
-Happily lopped off Loghain's head.
-Wasn't given the option of letting his daughter Anora join him for seemingly not having a problem w/ his villainy, so Alistair stuck her in a tower for time out.
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-oh yeah in the very beginning I killed the Arl for abducting and r*ping the elf women. Of course.
-Killed the crazed Paragon, freed the Golem's soul, and threw the Anvil into the Lava.
-Chose Bhelen for king. I preferred his politics but godDAMN he's crazy.
-Did not kill Flemeth, lied to Morrigan.
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I love it! Tinier pins have my heart.
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It's why my teeth are so bad, I'm putting off treating my cavities until I get a job and dental insurance... ouchies..
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Ah, being unable to "earn" my worth, but also knowing I need healthcare. RIP.
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He says he has two trauma therapists in his facility so I'll give them a look. Though I had to laugh when I said honestly, "You know YOU are expensive, my parents pay for you on my behalf since I don't have good insurance. And then a therapist too.. I have a hangup about this!"
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Not being good enough for friends, not good enough for the highest achievements, not good enough to be seen as physically attractive, not good enough to get the careers I want, and so on and so on. Wrong lesson but so much reinforcement that I feel it's true regardless.
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BUT because that was not true and literally impossible, I instead "learned" I was not enough, I was NEVER enough. I learned I was not worthy of love. And this faulty thinking unfortunately was reinforced my entire life, in many instances where I felt I fell short.
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I developed this flawed mindset in childhood because I had an unstable household. My parents always fought, which caused high stress, and I never felt safe. Love and safety felt highly conditional. I felt I had to "fix" my mom and dad. If I fixed them I would earn safety+love.
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Put succinctly, my biggest problem is that I fundamentally believe I am unworthy of love by simply existing, and that I must "prove" my worth through deeds, achievements, and my body (beauty). I get SO pissed off in talk therapy that says "just love yourself!" because I CAN'T!
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I've recently come to the conclusion that my depression+anxiety triggers stem from unresolved childhood trauma, and past therapy has failed because it wasn't based in treating trauma. I'm going to do more research and look for the appropriate therapist going forward.
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I feel like in any well-designed game, I seldom have to pop open the map because my eye is naturally drawn to where I'm "supposed" to go, or where objects/places of interest are. I can SEE a hierarchy of importance based on size, color, light, etc. but that was absent here.
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What I hated the most about it was the lack of light and color direction for the environments. Everything looked the same and it didn't help that the amount of geometry was limited for the time. I wasted most of my time in the game lost and wandering in circles bc my eye was drawn nowhere.
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I'm an HR failure too. i just keep wasting my life on things i am completely unhireable at!!
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"you have to practice to get better" yeah but how do i explain the great emotional turmoil i feel when i try to draw, huh. why would i bother when it hurts so much.
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thats what i thought years ago when i bought the wiiu and mario kart 8
i played mario kart 8 like 6 times S:AJFSLEF
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Like I sided w/ Behlen for dwarf king bc I found his politics more progressive for the underground dwarves than his opposition who favored isolationism and further adherence to the caste system, but he's a horrifying tyrant that murdered his opponent instantly upon being crowned.
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I find this game more interesting in comparison to BG3 in that regard; BG3 definitely let you "win" most scenarios. But Origins' "good" scenarios are often still quite bitter.
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The options for the Desire Demon and the Bewitched Templar make me laugh. The Demon argues she's improved the Templar's life by feeding him a fantasy of the domestic life he's always wanted while she can roleplay as a mortal in his fantasy.
"I can't argue against that."
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alistair gets to be back on the team bc I thought it would be interesting to have him, the templar, in the party at this time. plus Sten keeps threatening to leave because I'm not progressing fast enough for him or smth and Zevran is just a clone of my player character, soo..
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okie dokie, we're stomping thru the tower now in origins. my party is lelianna, wynne, and alistair this time. i benched morrigan finally and the dwarf guy. he was interesting but also kept harassing lelianna LEAVE HER ALONE!! GET A JOB!!
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Wow, great job! Amazing to coordinate all these characters together.
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and most often
-located in a really fuckass part of houston
i'm not getting my car broken into regularly or my body stabbed/r*ped for 50k a year.
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my disqualifying factors:
-no pay info provided
-pay is insultingly low
-school/state/military
-employer is apparently Satan
-employer is a nobody and I can't find them in a google search???? how embarrassing
-demands i am bilingual in spanish but pay doesn't reflect the skill