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jakeinthebox.bsky.social
29 posts 54 followers 221 following
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Joe Biden: When I was president there were no plane crashes….now uh….so many….*stares into distance*…uh trains.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

People frantically googling “egg replacement” and finding themselves in the Architect room from The Matrix Reloaded with their one vegan friend who has 20 food allergies holding bowl of Chia seed.

submitted 12 days ago • 107 comments

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you. 🙏🙏🙏

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Fun fact: a Canadian woman is called a ‘Canadienne’

submitted 21 days ago • 57 comments

sending this post from a crosswalk where a car DARED to honk at me to hurry up mid-crossing. he’s honking while i write this lmao he’s so mad. i’m not going to walk away until i’m confident you’ve learned something slugger

submitted 21 days ago • 19 comments

Just watched the most corporate man I’ve ever seen arrive at the pool with his light blue button down oxford tucked into his swim shorts.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Two stunningly beautiful men at the pool today, and me.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

If you voted for Trump I will never speak to you again. Also if you didn’t (I just don’t like people)

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Affirmative action

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

This is like microdosing suicide.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

honestly just ban all social media, then destroy the power substations. light all the cars on fire. return to the woods. die of pneumonia. live the good life.

submitted 46 days ago • 101 comments

Fuck you Duo

submitted 136 days ago • 0 comments

Is this anything?

submitted 203 days ago • 0 comments

Someone yelled, “I have a pigeon!”, at me as I biked by and then held up a live pigeon. That healed me.

submitted 310 days ago • 0 comments

This a prolapsed anus

submitted 352 days ago • 0 comments

What the fuck even is this? How do I get off this planet.

submitted 481 days ago • 0 comments

I just know there’s a holodeck on the Enterprise that everyone knows is the one you use to engage in the most depraved fantasies you can imagine.

submitted 487 days ago • 0 comments

I know a plot of land, owned by the city, with excellent access to transportation that the city is perpetually unable to develop that would be perfect for this.

submitted 492 days ago • 0 comments

I did it! I finally became the person that was too busy and forgot to eat. Please clap.

submitted 495 days ago • 0 comments

Please just make George Santos speaker. Just bring me a little bit of joy everyday. Nothing will change. The house will still be broken but I will get the gift of gay chaos on the daily.

submitted 496 days ago • 0 comments

Guys. Guys!! We don’t need to yell at each other. Hamas and Israel are BOTH evil.

submitted 504 days ago • 0 comments

Does anybody still wear a hat?

submitted 506 days ago • 0 comments

Slowly realizing I’m the eccentric at my local watering hole.

submitted 506 days ago • 0 comments

Woke up and thought, “dreams are just lending compute time to the universal neural net”. Is that something?

submitted 506 days ago • 0 comments

Mamma Mia! is the Cats of the 90s

submitted 507 days ago • 0 comments