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jjonesy.bsky.social
Go to youtube.com/@cartooncircustv for all the funny shit
137 posts 948 followers 596 following
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You guys don't know my girlfriend. She goes to another social media site, in Canada.

HR: Linda said you “booped” her nose? Me: I was trying to mute her.

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it had been stronger.

Repeatedly hitting the escape button yet remaining at work is why I have trust issues

You're funnier when I'm stoneded

I like funny nonsense to take my mind off all the deadly serious nonsense.

I’m not the skeeter you want but I’m the skeeter you deserve.

Only apathy will save me now

Help I have too many books to read & not enough hours in the day. Don’t tell me about your champagne problems.

“Alexa, what is eighty six thousand four hundred times five?” -my 10 asking the important questions.

My kids friend just told me he thought I was 29 instead of 44 like I am so I’d like to declare today a national holiday.

rhyming cataclysm & astigmatism in this rap cuz my world view is clear but it's making everything else a blur

give me ambiguity or give me something else

ai is worthless to me unless it can induce coma

I’ll die on that hill of beans

I can’t think of anyone I’d rather drive off a cliff with than you.

Don’t look at me I don’t even know how I came to be part of this conversation

It was funny until you got offended. Then it became fucking hilarious

In last night’s #4nationsfinal, 100% of Canada was cheering for Canada. 50% of America was also cheering for Canada.

Todays big news: Hooters goes tits up

Sorry I shitposted the bed.

My cat is sitting on the coffee table because she thinks I'm going to eat dinner while I watch TV, but the joke is on her, because I'm just rolling a joint.

Canada represents everything the United States will never be, and the United States represents everything Canada will never become.

Went to a speed dating event where I let jealousy get the better of me 35 times in a row. "WHO WAS THAT GUY YOU WERE JUST TALKING TO?"

I saw you tweet at someone else you slut.

Trump is literally starting World War 3

Roses are red Violets are blue Fart on my dick But try not to poo

“Don’t Kid Yourself” would be a great slogan for a condom manufacturer.

Wanderlust on your 20s, wandersloth in your 40s

Why did they call it a bayonet and not a knifle

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Has somebody tried calling their parents to come get them?

You can lure me into anything with a Cyndi Lauper song

You mean that’s NOT Rod Stewart singing “Bette Davis Eyes”???

In case you’re wondering who I’m NOT voting for in the provincial election:

I have a certain je ne sais blah.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re stupid. Show them yourself

Its funny when people assume im failing at being what they're trying to be, instead of realizing that I'm nailing being what I am

maybe if I stopped saying shit at dinner like, ‘let us eat lettuce’, on a first date, I might not get ghosted

You stay in your head and I’ll stay in mine.

going to start blow drying my hair while i’m still in the shower to save time

I love Danny DeVito