jlinebeck.bsky.social
Non-binary, aroace, dealing with ADHD and BPD. Mainly about FF14 and whatever games I'm playing atm. They/Them.
https://www.youtube.com/@CaptainJLinebeck
https://ko-fi.com/j_linebeck
Jade Linebeck, Excalibur. Shion Miyumi, Leviathan. (Primal)
1,724 posts
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417 following
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I don't blame anyone for hating me because of this. I'm not saying any of this to garner sympathy. I don't want any sympathy. I'm saying all of this because I want to be honest. I don't want to go back. I can't allow any excuses anymore.
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I let myself think that people secretly hated me, and in turn came to believe that it was fair for me to be horrible to them to see if it was true. There's no excusing that, even having BPD. It wasn't fair on them.
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I will break free of this cycle, and I will start it by letting go of my past habits. That belief that I can just walk back things and pretend everything is fine. It's not fair to anyone. I was manipulative and emotionally abusive.
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To everyone that's been hurt because of my actions over the years: I'm sorry. And I don't expect any forgiveness. I don't want any forgiveness. I don't want any of you to feel guilty because of me, because none of you are guilty. None of you are responsible for me. I'm the one that broke it all.
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I cannot allow myself to continue this cycle. I have to be strong. I have to believe in everyone and myself. I can't give up.
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I don't expect anyone to forgive me. What's done is done. The least I can do now is actually work on improving myself so that nobody else has to suffer because of me. So that nobody else ever has to feel like they're wasting their time on me. It's all my responsibility to improve myself.
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I'm going to knuckle down and do something about myself and my mental health. No more thinking that I'm fine, that I can just power through it. I had deluded myself into thinking that I couldn't do more, that I could just walk it back. No more of that.
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#qwart
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Check them out here if you like hylianmodding.com/competition-...
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Speaking of metroidvanias, one game I can't recommend highly enough is Iconoclasts, still some of the lushest pixelart I've ever seen, and has one absolute hell of a good story with some positively wonderful characters, and it's 75% off right now.
store.steampowered.com/app/393520/I...
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Preserving the original version is still important, regardless of which is better.
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It really doesn't help that my voice gives me gender dysphoria issues too, hence why I try to minimise having to talk whenever I can
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I'd buy into it if it weren't for the Level 99 dungeon where we do see that the usage of Feral Souls is actually fatal, especially with the final boss of that dungeon being the father of the twins from Oblivion after he was forced to absorb tons of feral souls