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joenockles.bsky.social
How long until I post my ass for attention?
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I'm so happy to wait until 2034. What's 9 years between celestial bodies I've never been to?

Choosing accommodation for a trip to Sri Lanka and every hotel room is modelled by white dudes with top knots

Hello! The Oscars are American cultural propaganda, and in the last few years at least have rewarded more terrible films than good, and I don't even think the fashion is really all that good to be honest??, BUT the ceremony has delivered some hilarious moments recently so feel free to enjoy xxx

Does Teams have a viagra emoji?

The more we see Nicky Campbell in front of the camera, the less authentic he seems

Just tried to make eyes at a guy in the street but I sort of hadn’t realised that I was also doing a massive yawn and I wasn’t covering my mouth. So there’s that.

I'm going to read this at your LGBT history month open mic night

Threw this together to explain something to my bf and it makes a weird amount of sense tbh

My dream last night had such a good improvised musical theatre number in it, huge ensemble dance routine too

Just saw Rami Malek in the street and he was wearing pretty much exactly what I was earlier when I was dressed shit for working from home, threw on a big coat and some brothel creepers and went out to meet a friend for coffee - and she was right, it was a good outfit.

Shots were fired. Now do pea and ham next! www.theguardian.com/thefilter/20...

Hate Ubers with all of my heart. And it’s not their fault. It’s just that I know how to cycle everywhere and I don’t understand why it’s so convoluted to drive anywhere

Why are there helicopters monitoring 1000s of teenagers in Soho?

A guy in the gym just asked me if I was a dancer and then went on to tell me that he was a dancer and listed all the things about me that made him think I was and, well, I guess that’s the way to my heart 🥰

Absolutely failing to get some Friday wfh d**k today so I’m having to resort to doing work to fill the time

Wanting a Sri Lanka restaurant for tonight. Is it Hoppers or are there smaller independents I should know about?

Strands was dumb today. You can't establish one theme and then go off theme.

Unexpected perk of dating a doctor is getting to say stuff like "hey, did you know smiling is a natural anti-depressant?" and watching his head implode

This shoot really oversold Athens to me

Radio 4’s Anti-Social show really is just an excuse to platform racists isn’t it

Me before 2 glasses of wine: I'm meeting up with this guy expressly to friendzone him. I think we should have clear boundaries and he should know where he stands. My bf: I bet he sucks you off in the bathroom Me 2 glasses of wine later: So he just sucked me off in the bathroom...

Going to a pizza place called Crudough tonight. And I assume it’s a supposed to sound like ‘crudo’ but it keeps making me think of Justin Trudeau

The bastard "I dont really believe in Valentine's Day" guy that I'm dating managed to sneak a very cute card in my bag this morning and he won't find the secret cute card I put in his bag until this evening. I'm fuming.

Is Stormzy okay?

Still got the lingering sinus head from an illness last week and I have to keep on reminding myself that I dont look as shit as I feel.

I need all my favourite coffee shops near my office to stop shutting down

I wonder if gay men will stop saying Abracadabra any time soon

I actually enjoy how much people celebrate their hair transplants. It’s nice to see a taboo so lifted. Show off your new hairline, kings 👑

the tortured cock and balls department

Disappointing how London has no good fish and chips