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johnnyuranium.bsky.social
57 posts 163 followers 193 following
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When I hit 7K on here I’ll post my Magic the Gathering decks (about as sexy/vulnerable as posting hole).

I know a lot of SV AI types, and this is exactly correct. They created a machine that specifically makes their own jobs redundant, and decided that instead of accepting that change, they need to prove the machine can destroy every other job too. They're seeing dinosaurs in the mirror and panicking

Tried out the new government chat gpt and all it said was that I shouldn't have a mouth and that I ought to scream more

Really dirty cosmic joke that eggs specifically are gonna cost a million dollars

Me translating gen alpha brainrot for my parents

Hey while ChatGPT is down you can just text me and I'll write whatever sort of shit you want me to write. I can even keep in the cussing and sex words. 3 bucks a pop.

Post this on the front door tbh

Back in my day, if you’d tried to order an "oat milk" at your local cafe, why, you'd surely have been run out of town on a rail! Nowadays, though, I find it impossible to feel joy, excitement, contentment or absolutely anything at all, really.

"Jarvis annex the Sudetenland"

I mix up it word anagram and acronym all the time and it makes the world full of these interminable riddles

Heard there are going to be interesting times. Exciting! Love interesting things.

Guy who pretends to be asleep and then screams when people give him a dollar: tossing those classifieds into the bin and hopping back in bed

1,000,000 weed themed mug dropshippers breathe a sigh of relief

How do you lose at checkers against the world's dumbest farm animal man twice in one week

had to dig this one up

Looks like he took a beat to remember where rain comes from and he realized he did not know

The bluemagas and the sexbots are feuding over the hunting lands south of the dell. Sending in the knights.

Only thing I see missing from the grocery conversation is that you can totally be lazy and broke at the same time. Like I got depression too dog I just eat a lot of turkey sandwiches

I will NOT block my 107 bot followers. They are my serfs and they farm my lands for barley

Golf sucks because the worse you are at it the longer you have to do it. It's like 3rd grade =(

Whenever I block people I shout Bang! Like I'm playing cops and robbers

When they build all the AI data centers they should have to label each bit with what it's being used for. This acre of computers is a bunch of Gokus you can have sex with.

"Adrian Dittmann, Kekius Maximus, that one account he pretended to be a toddler" You bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn

Someone screwed up making a bot and now the robots all follow me in pairs of white women with the same first name

I SUPPORT the most successful Bluesky accounts like that of actor Richard Kind! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

My new years resolution is to finally collect those 120 question mark shaped trophies that the Riddler hid in places i tend to be

Always assumed musk was a pervert but apparently he's a new breed of suped up mega pervert. Whatever fetish this is we don't even have a name for yet.

I think the candy crush guys have to be giving Eric Adams a kickback. Those subway cops are all on like level 9000

youtube.com/watch?v=Cv1R... Amazing to think about how much worse this guy could've been. We had no idea what was coming for us.

Complying in advance by not giving my credit card number to an account called Blue Resist Dems Together 💙 🌊🇺🇸

An American religious movement founded by Jeremiah Sexmonstaire, The Science Bible Church of YHWH synthesizes mesmerism and Christian revival. Its cornerstones are "charity," faith healing, polygamy, and a secret fourth thing. They founded all the cities in Idaho. Every member is addicted to candy.

to me a homophone is a pink razr or maybe one of this folding ones

Apparently there's a game called Cricket they play today and it's non-serious as hell

Does the Rizzler know it's Christmas

Mel Gibson screaming and weeping as he gets stabbed by the great gonzo