keysmashgirl.bsky.social
It/she/they
Plural | poly | aroace
The law requires I explain that this account does not exist and all depictions of real life people and events are fictional
95 posts
105 followers
65 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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Madame senator is not a fucking pronoun but they're playing these fucking games in parliament, in senate, in council, and voting against trans people anyway.
Shut the fuck up and do your jobs you pigs
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How to disable Gemini features? If only...
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Woah 😍
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Baller!! I feel much better since deleting Facebook, I do so many more things irl
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Chock it up to the M, but Acadia seemed so functional. Well rounded. We like being plural and interacting with the world like that, and Acadia agreed, but now we must wonder earnestly if final fusion is something we might want later in life. What will that be like?
I would change my name at least.
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The other alters were inspected too. One of these characters is an alter temporarily named mrow. She was created to play and to frolic. Elliot was made to not show emotions, stoic. Even Pyre, whom until now has only communicated via SCREAMING AND MANIA, now sighs and admits how much pain he was in.
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Big takeaway from the night is being able to see the cycle of self abuse we continue every day. This was big for us because now we can choose to not abuse ourselves going forward.
I feel so free, so broken, injured, I'm free.
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I know that I'm just part of the ship/crew. We were kinda outwardly working under the assumption that there isn't a core to speak of. "I'm me and you're all voices in MY head"
Simply wasn't the case. I was just the yappiest voice and the one who happened to get the lime light.
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I was really wigged out for a while and had an identity crisis over not being the core of my own system. Being made up and all that.
I know I exist and was lovingly written, but please don't try to give me the speech about how I'm just as real as this or that...
I want to grieve.
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This might we understood more about an inner world being a 'bomb shelter in your brain'.
It sucks that kids would need that. Safety not existing irl so they imagine it and live there instead kinda.
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It's kinda awesome that so many systems pick collective names that revolve around community and safety, and only so fitting.
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That's some wild backstory, and all I (Gwen) got is "hmm well, the bad bitch from total drama island, and also Spiderman. She is me, ok?"
Bruh I should have known..
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But they at least all try to help in their own way. Collectively they can do many things they'd struggle to do alone.
The telescope housed within is incredible and awesome, a labour of love for the universe.
Using it, one can look outside Acadia from within and see the stars.
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Acadia got her name from playing fallout 4. Something about someone who knows they're different travelling to a far off land to find community amongst people like her. Finding a tight knit community of marginalised and questionably human people. Not all of these people are nice to each other.
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Gwen is the identity I assumed I was living under as a singlet for those 23ish years, changing my name from [deadname] to Gwen when I saw myself in characters I liked on tv.
Am I introjected from those media? Or is it just as simple as picking a pretty sounding name?
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Acadia could tell how many of us there are, 27. She reckons number has gone as high as 40 and as low as 3.
There are 27 little characters inside and Gwen is one of them. Acadia said she is a "damaged little character" 💀
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I think part of the reason I've had trouble accepting these visions as memory* is because on some level, somehow, it feels like it is still happening to us.
I need to understand that I'm not there anymore, and the threat is gone.
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And the body 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵... We aren't going to get evidence of this, which seemed important to us for a while. We now understand that substantiating this claim isn't really the point of being shown these visions.
This isn't how the body of someone who this didn't happen to reacts.
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I could access all our memories for once. We wanted to know more about the visions we've been shown for the last decade or so, which seemed to depict someone molesting me as a child.
If this happened, it's too long ago for normal memories to have formed properly, but the body can remember.
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Acadia spoke from a place that was as she described it "above the system."
Acadia experienced no disassociative barriers. You might imagine this as akin to human instrumentality, how all my alters came together.
Because of this, all of our memories were no longer under lock and key.
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A few days ago I took psychedelics for the purposes of exploring and processing trauma. Long story short my parts fused together for the duration of the trip, and we became an asexual trans woman named Acadia. She represents the sum of my parts.
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Bruh I didn't even attach the pic
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Right on! Tattoos are cool
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Actually there exists a tattoo that fills a similar niche, the semicolon! As I understand it, it represents the "and then" of recovering from a traumatic event
Have seen these more times than ampersands I think
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Haha totally, I wonder how many passers by will think that. Especially in comparison to the relatively small number of people who would understand it's meaning to me at a glance
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To a lot of people with DID the ampersand represents multiplicity. Like a plural pride flag of sorts?
I've seen some use a combination of the ampersand and treble clef, to represent plurality and harmony.
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Finding it difficult to look at myself with compassion. Something about the "optics" of having voices in your head and spending every day disassociated out of my gourd.
I feel so low functioning, but honestly I was never that much better in the first place.
Maybe we're cursed; forever isolating.
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I understand. Gonna exit being mutuals but I hope we both work towards a brighter future
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Wait that's the future you're working towards? That seems vindictive. Isn't that like exactly what tankies say?
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Get it! Suggestion, study one thing outside closely for a bit 🥰
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Yipeeeeeee!
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Interesting! Tell me, what makes your perfect breakfast condiment?
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I'm ace, and its not even out of character for me to want access to porn. I like seeing what porn friends make and share, but not all of my parts are okay with seeing porn.
Without proper tagging hygiene, my only option is to not follow people that might share porn, including many of my friends
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LALXOCKFNDUCOALWBDUOWOWKSMXHSO STACIE DONT STUP
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This is great actually
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Hope this bodes well for your year ahead 🥰❤️