klownkitten.bsky.social
🔞MDNI | SEMI-NSFW
🌕1.3.25
📝releasing and processing all my thoughts/emotions
🚫if I annoy you just block me
🪦stonedclown on vent
https://klownkitten.straw.page
817 posts
105 followers
118 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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I'm also just generally feeling like shit today, plus my pen died so no gas. Double plus, I miss my man as always. Even when the cams are off and we're not actively talking, being on the phone with him is just so,,,,, *melts into a puddle of love* ahhhh many many thoughtsssss
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Screams and cries and slams my paws on the table I am so fkn needy rn 😭 like actually going feral I need my mannnn I need to hear him praise and degrade me, I need to see him twitch for me. Fuck, I need to *feel* him and no matter what I do it cannot happen soon enough
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My brain just keeps generating images of us together and it's driving me insaaaaaane I nEEEEEED this man, rIGHT fucking nOW!!!!!!
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suddenly grrr but we'll save that for ~later~ teehee in the meantime I think I'm gonna find printables, smoke a liiiiil more, and wait for eggy and my man :3c (maybe I just need to get back into posting/writing/typing it all out,,, hmmm,,,,,)
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I have no idea what I'm even going on about anymore, all I know is that I desperately need this stupid character limit to go away LMFAO lemme yap to myself goddamn. Also that I need my man. Also that I need eggs. Ooooh I think mama makin eggy I'm all excited now eeeee >w< brain go brrr and also ↓
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smoke and yap to my man and just... Be ME. Truly, fully me. Which makes me think I mask a lot around them but,,, why? Around dad makes sense but mom and bro are just like me frfr. Then again, as I typed that, several blurry memories of them ridiculing me flashed by so maybe I'm in denial. Honestly ↓
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the entire MULTIVERSE. I have a group of friends that love and care about me. I have a decent medical support system. I have so much good going on, but when I'm downstairs or around my family, I just feel so... On edge. Stuck in waiting mode. I spend all day waiting for nighttime to come so I can ↓
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I have a roof over my head, food on the table, clean(ish) water to drink. I'm still able to afford my vapes and weed, even if it is a struggle every time. My family is overstimulating as all hell but 2/3 of them mean well and do plenty of nice things for me. I have the best most wonderful man in ↓
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ANXIETY IS ANXIETY-ING AND THE BORDERLINE IS BORDERLINING FUCK MY LIIIIIIIIIFIWJWNRNDJEJ IM SO SICK OF ALL THESE DISORDERS!!!;;;;(4+2+_+_ LET ME BE FUCKING NORMALLLLLL
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Update mother is forcing me into a store even tho I'm shaky as fuck lolololol yayyyy thanks ma
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I gotta clarify more on the initial statement bc I'm paranoid; this week's Chicago Fire touched on alcoholism and the way I saw myself in this man. Holy shit. Holy fuck. That's me. That's literally me rn but with weed. Like,,,, damn.
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every single day. This stupid STUCK feeling. I'm just so tired. So miserable. So over everything. Like I'm genuinely going to a really dark place without my stupid plant and I keep beating myself up for it and the place just gets darker but I'm STUCK in this STUPID cycle!!!!!
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And not to be a whiny lil bitch baby but now I gotta fucking walk dogs in ice and snow and 12°F weather and I know it's such a first world problem like god forbid I'm cold for a bit but it's moreso the lack of control, lack of choice, that stupid stupid STUPID helpless feeling I keep running from ↓
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Maybe I should just delete this stupid fuckin app because all I'm doing here is clogging people's feed with complete and utter BULLSHIT, actually. Like yes it helps me process and stuff but the Crippling Fear of Upsetting People is much much stronger and idk what to do
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I always end up doing long ass threads, I just have so much to Let Out!!! Like how irrationally sad I've been!!!!! Or how I haven't seen my doctors!!!! Or how I've gotten so much better with brushing my teeth thanks to 🌕!!!!! I dunnoooooooo fUCK I'm just so out of it and dizzy all the fuckin time
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And ya know what while I'm here. I fucking miss TALKING TO PEOPLE!!!!!-(4(&(5( I MISS IT SO MUCH WHY CANT I TEXT ANY OF THESE MFS BACK!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME!!!!!! WHY CANT I BRING MYSELF TO SAY HELLO!?!?!?!?!?!? I hate this fkn character limit I'm so sorry ↓
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Doesn't wake HIM up* anyway I guess I'll stfu and hit the dead-as-fuck pen and enter yet another form of escapism, whether that be (I just had funky ears like I'm gonna pass out FUNSIES) coloring, tv, games, music, stepping out back after all idfc anymore I Just Wanna Run (by Downtown Fiction)!!!!!
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Like we're on call and I'm pretty sure he's still asleep so I've been on mute so my loud family doesn't wake up but then what if that makes him sad? But then what if I unmute and he gets woken up and mad? And in all reality it has NOTHING to do with him and everything to do with my daddy issues
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in regards to 🌕. Like I'm so paranoid about being too much or not enough, and also I overly worry about his mental state. I just have so many thoughts holy fuck I feel like I can't breathe I just want pEACE WHY DOES MY BRAIN HATE MY FUCKING GUTS
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name and as soon as he tells me his new address I'm spending it ALL on 🌕's belated vday gifts which is my own choice but also broooo I could've been so high by nowwwwww uuuugh I'm just All Kinds of Funky!!!! I'm pissy, I'm restless, I'm antsy, I'm irritable,,,,, and I keep getting stuck in my head ↓
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Besties, why be sad when you can get dommed by a giant frog monster? It'll be okay just text Frog Dom he has your back(side) [ignore me I'm very unwell rn]
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Fuck sorry sorry sorry I'll shut up frfr I'm just so fucking gay for this man
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I wish I could trust the internet, I wanna show him off so so so bad uuuUUUUGH HES SO CUTE AND HANDSOME AND SEXY AND RAHHHHH IF YALL COULD SEE THIS MANNNNNRBEHSUDU JRNRJEJSJDJRNR I'm STILL not entirely convinced he's real *and* not Evil but fuck it bro we ball he's been an angel this far!!!
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No because guys he is literally fucking PERFECT like he just,,, gets me so well, he's always gentle and caring, he teaches me all kinds of stuff, gahhhh I cannot word esp while high but he is the most perfect boyfriend and dom in the entire world and I cannot shut up about him that is my husband
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HE FEELS BAD THAT ITS GONNA BE A DAY LATE!?!?!?!? LIKE BABE NO I PROMISE THATS TOTALLY OKAY YOURS WILL BE LIKE ALMOST A WEEK LATE 😭 PLUS I DONT NEED GIFTS TO BE HAPPY IM SATISFIED WITH A SMOOCH I SWEAR!!!!! UGGUGGUGG I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHWHEHD I CANNOT PUT IT INTO WORDS MY HEART GO BABOOM!!!!!