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lastdamnchimp.bsky.social
I am the chimp they forgot in space. I'm a wannabe writer Disgraced investigative journalist Pokemon enthusiast He/They Hate fascists. Honestly can't tell if I'm an ally or nonbinary Honestly can't tell if I'm an anarchist or communist
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This is me if you even care

There's not enough Hall & Oates in cyberpunk.

Is this an album from Champaign, IL c.2004 Or A Tubi cartoon c. 2004

"Year of the Cat" by Al Stewart is one of the horniest songs of all time.

My wife after I showed her "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead: "Is this a depression orgasm?"

Oh her? That's Princess Beef Queef We keep her on ice Because she's so damn slutty.

Real emo hours

I'll bite a fash on the face like a mishandled chimpanzee.

This kind of shit would never happen in Donkey Kong Country

I look better through a truck stop glory hole or whatever Magnetic Fields said.

I'm a feeteorologist

I don't have an inner child. I have an inner Roger from American Dad

Eggnog Cream soda Lemon curd Cinnamon Allspice Bee pollen/honey Stir I call it the "Better Not Embarrass Me in Front of Vanessa" Happy holidays

I'm calling all my sluts trollops now.

Ain't no sunshine when she's goth She needs darkness every day Ain't no sunshine when she's goth And she's always goth too long Everytime that Bauhaus plays

Must be hard for healthcare CEO's to watch Luigi get the kind of security they need rn

RIP, mom, you would've loved Cobra's Christmas album.

"Killing is never OK", says ruling class of nation arming and abetting genocidal mass murder for the past 430 days.

You can't love John Brown and hate Luigi Mangione

@rickyftw.bsky.social

If our healthcare horror stories were coming from Iran, we'd use it as a pretext for invasion.

Mom charged with terrorism for saying "Delay, deny depose" to health insurance company after being denied a claim:

"it had to be done. These parasites had it coming" would make a sick Ivermectin commercial

How I feel with our boy Luigi behind bars.

Free Luigi

Deny. Defend. Depose.

Bashar al-Assad’s biggest mistake? Not going on Joe Rogan.

Your local holiday parade is like a strange dream. Mrs. Claus drives a firetruck. Realtors pelt you with candy. Your dentist waves from a flatbed trailer. He’s dressed as the grinch

We keep getting messages saying climate change is a hoax and the world is flat. Is it 2024?!

I like shitposting just enough to keep my FBI agent gooning

Cats on cats on cats

I wish Trevor Moore was still alive so he could write a banger about United Healthcare.

Promising to carry on the things that probably led to the CEO's downfall is a ballsy way to enter 2025