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lats.bsky.social
Your friendly neighborhood pluviophile. It’s me.. hi: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaov66mmurmw
690 posts 1,296 followers 880 following
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Posts 47 Comments 3

Scorpio: Actually, the intense paranoia you feel is quite well-founded. Your therapist is a moron.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I think we can all agree it's time for desserts and liquor and we have no more time to pretend to be keto

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

I often hear people say ‘bears repeating’ but nobody ever bothers to tell me what the bears are saying.

submitted 2 days ago • 21 comments

I’m such a poor conversationalist that I can’t even talk to myself.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

toxic positivity is demeaning and does more damage especially rn. knock that shit off this minute you aren’t a magic 8 ball. sometimes everything isn’t gonna be all right. a lot of the time actually surviving isn’t thriving

submitted 4 days ago • 15 comments

49% of Troy was like "they tried to kill us yesterday" but 51 were chanting HORSE! HORSE! really loud

submitted 4 days ago • 25 comments

Early to bed, and early to rise, holy fuck being alive is bullshit.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Social media is fun because you basically just talk to yourself and sometimes a stranger replies to yell at you about why you’re wrong

submitted 5 days ago • 195 comments

“They took my balls, Frankie.”
“I know, Sid, I know.”
“THEY TOOK MY GODDAMN BALLS!”
“Shhh… There, there. It’ll be okay.”

submitted 5 days ago • 13 comments

I’m also just a dad, standing in front of another dad, asking you to buy one of these fundraising chocolate bars so I don’t have to spend $100 buying them all and eating them alone in misery.

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

As an atheist I believe that nothing really matters and it's never been more clear than now.

submitted 7 days ago • 12 comments

Hey, religious people.. could you ask your god to unplug the world for 10 seconds and plug it back in.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Me requesting feedback via text immediately after sex.

submitted 7 days ago • 14 comments

I would rather have Air Traffic Controllers, Park Rangers, Cancer Research and Social Security than a $5000 check from DOGE

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

If you’re troubled by the increase in political posts and decrease of yours and my comedy in my feed, I feel the same way. You don’t think I’d rather be trying to hit one funny thing out of every three or four hundred tries?! But the house is on fire, and we can’t just ignore it.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

some of you bitches need to lie down in a meadow surrounded by all of god’s divine creations and it shows

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

You know.. Gotta tell ya.. I'm not usually this upbeat *continues digging bunker*

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

Growing up I was led to believe I'd spend a lot more time in a bar arguing with sports legends about whether it tastes better or is less filling...

submitted 10 days ago • 3 comments

Sending an email to employees asking them to list five things they did that week is a classic move from a manager who has no idea how to manage

submitted 9 days ago • 930 comments

I find your grandmother’s knickknack collection alarmingly lackluster.

submitted 9 days ago • 40 comments

sometimes you need to wear that old concert t-shirt to remind yourself of a time when you made out with a sexy stranger while thumping music coursed through your veins instead of focusing on how you have to buy more stool softeners

submitted 9 days ago • 10 comments

Missed connection: at Chili's, you were the cool guy who could take a punch. I was the woman socking people in the butt, yelling "Happy Boxing Day!" till the hostess tackled me

submitted 9 days ago • 19 comments

Glenda: You had the power all along Dorothy: What the fuck

submitted 9 days ago • 22 comments

I'm all for replacing one problem with another.

submitted 9 days ago • 4 comments

The hubs: “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” The dog: “There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.”

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I am not okay. We are not okay.

submitted 10 days ago • 199 comments

I don’t really care if you follow me as long as you feel bad for not following me

submitted 9 days ago • 7 comments

drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

submitted 10 days ago • 127 comments

Do you double tap the m on dammit or spell it right?

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

Can’t we all just go back to when we were doin’ the hoe down throw down?

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I’m still using my Christmas mug because one must eke out joy in this miserable world wherever one can find it.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

And we just laughed while the world went down in flames.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

A 48 hour social media break will have you feeling like Ben Kenobi staggering out of the hills with a hood on

submitted 11 days ago • 4 comments

I was put on this earth to hate everything. Honestly, I'm doing a great job.

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

I may be in my 40s but I'm still just a girl ok

submitted 12 days ago • 6 comments

What if we just decided to bring sexy back again, instead of Measles & Polio?

submitted 12 days ago • 21 comments

Ya know what really pisses people off putting in the same effort they do

submitted 12 days ago • 2 comments

If you send me a DM to thank me for reskeeting something you should immediately build a time machine to go back before you decided to do that and then not do it. This is social media. I'm being social. DMs are for telling me I'm irresponsibly sexy and you want to writhe nakedly with me.

submitted 12 days ago • 8 comments

DOGE is such a stupid fucking word. I’m not a violent man but I want to kick it in the undescended testicles

submitted 12 days ago • 9 comments

I will keep reskeeting my posts until moral improves

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

If you hurry, tickets are still available for my kitchen concert Mariah Carey covers.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

No, but why is Henry Winkler still so cool?

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

You can't afford me, emotionally.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

What if I wasn’t what you thought I was. What if you weren’t what I thought you were.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

You seem sad. Come, I made brownies

submitted 15 days ago • 25 comments

I don’t have to work tomorrow so suck it alarm clock.

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments