littlejewboy.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Me: Hel- Someone who has never smoked pot: You gotta be careful with melatonin, that shit is strong and it’ll really knock your ass out…

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Opt out tomorrow!

submitted 4 days ago • 744 comments

Wanna feel old? The “Don’t Cuss” kid was just arrested for tax evasion 😩

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

If you ever feel like you’re not “good” or “smart” enough, just remember that even Albert Einstein had to learn how to tie his shoes at some point in his life…but holy shit, he probably figured it out a lot faster than you, are those laces wrapped UNDERNEATH your shoes?? Jesus Christ, dude…

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

SEVERANCE But They find out their Outies are Mac Dennis Charlie and Dee from it's always sunny in Philadelphia

submitted 17 days ago • 5 comments

This country really lost something precious when stores stopped staying open 24 hours a day…people are so fucked up now because they can’t get out their crazies by purchasing a Subway sandwich and a lawnmower of their choosing at the closest Walmart at 3:30 AM 🫨😩

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Throwing myself a retirement party at the office every Friday so people aren’t as deeply affected when the real thing happens in 40 years…or, more likely, fucking never 😵

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

BREAKING NEWS: “PRESIDENT” TRUMP TO PARDON THE “PANTS ON THE GROUND” GUY, SAYS “HE DID NOT LOOK LIKE A FOOL, FOLKS, BELIEVE ME, I’VE SEEN PLENTY OF PANTLESS GUYS AND HE IS NOWHERE NEAR THE MOST FOOLISH” 😱🫡🤗

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

Just had the stoned thought of realizing almost all song lyrics hit a lower note at the end than the one preceding it and said to myself “Music is all about going down”…thought about posting this on Twitter, but I’m never gonna get this shit off the ground if I keep giving themgrade-A stuff 🎶⬇️🥵

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Don’t cry because it’s over (Hawk Tuah girl disappearing after her bitcoin venture failed), smile because it happened (stealing money from hundreds of absolute dolts who thought she was a financial guru on top of being a trashy Southern whore) 🥹🥹🥹

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Back on this platform again, but this time I’m an alpha…let’s see what will happen 😼

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Nearly shit myself in a diner ONCE AGAIN…how many times until you’re satisfied, God?? How many innocent bystanders must suffocate on my egg farts before you absolve me of my sins??

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

You ever been in a storm, Wally? #itsalwayssunnyinphiladelphia #itsalwayssunny

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

My bio is out of date, so I wanna clarify - Charles Barkley USED to sit over my shoulder and dictate his opinions and views to me when Inside the NBA went to commercial, but now he just comes to my house and whispers them into my ear when I sleep so it feels like they’re my original thoughts 🫨

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

Been doing the first, trying to do the second now, and the third…stay tuned!! 😬

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

The eternal conundrum - keep using Twitter, come over here full time, or blow my brains out?? There IS a wrong choice, I just can’t tell which one it is 🥺

submitted 145 days ago • 0 comments

Always the snuff film participant, never the snuff film victim 😔

submitted 429 days ago • 0 comments

Met a nice couple on our honeymoon and my wife didn’t wanna swing with them, what even is the point of marriage…

submitted 521 days ago • 0 comments

Being newly married is a lot of fun, I get to call my longtime partner “wife” and she gets to call me “I’m sorry for his behavior, he’s never been to Wimbledon before” 🥰

submitted 525 days ago • 0 comments

Someone left a full coffee cup outside my office, and the process of figuring out who did it has subsumed everyone in this building, just a series of incredible twists and turns that ultimately led to nothing…

submitted 551 days ago • 0 comments

Here’s the perfect way to describe what it’s like to be a Black creative: email notification about a podcast comment/review I steel myself for what the haterade flavor of the day is. opens email “oh thank god it’s just porn.”

submitted 554 days ago • 0 comments

People who drive cars with those popping engines, I’m sorry your fathers didn’t love you but I don’t think my dogs need to suffer for it 😒

submitted 555 days ago • 0 comments

Coloring books and indecipherable lyrics from unreleased Grimes songs don’t count 😒

submitted 556 days ago • 0 comments

Does anyone recognize these Pokémon??

submitted 557 days ago • 0 comments

Wrote something extremely dumb for my first tweet in 2009, so this one is gonna be way better! Here we go… Billionaires are inherently immoral, protect trans kids, Black Lives Matter, universal health care is easily attainable, and fuck you if you disagree 😎😤🫡

submitted 557 days ago • 1 comment