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lsggbg.bsky.social
Writer for Goon Show & Tony Hancock. Commando Captain. Deaded in 1959 so posts channelled by my cousin.
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NED: Make sure the men are issued with the special vitamins. ECCLES: Ermmmm... Vitamins? NED: Yes. Surely you know what they are? Vitamins A, B, C, E... ECCLES: That's a funny way to spell vitamins. (Goon Show, 3 Mar 1953)

NEDDIE: I want to buy a penguin... How much are they? SPRIGGS: I'll just look in the catalogue. NEDDIE: I don't want a cat. I want a penguin. So look in the penguin-logue. (Goon Show, 28 Feb 1957)

NED: We're 200 miles up already! FLOWERDEW: We'll soon see if the Earth is round or not. PUREHEART: Can you see anything through that window? ECCLES: Yeah. I just saw the whole Earth. PUREHEART: Did it look round? ECCLES: Yes. But I don't think it saw me. (Goon Show, 26 Feb 1952)

In the continuing pack-up / clear out of the office, I found these. Perfect condition, just no longer needed. Anyone want them? Postage costs only. Speak today or they go to the charity shop…

They set sail for Java. Land of the polar bear, the kangaroo, land of vodka and the can-can. Not much is known of Java, as the idiots who wrote this will bear witness. (Goon Show, 24 Feb 1953)

THYNNE: This early French convict is none other than - and I quote from his death certificate - Count Villion de Jim 'Thighs' Moriarty - Gold Medallist Road Sweeper to Penge District and International Knotted String Consultant. (Goon Show, 21 Feb 1957)

HARRY: Where have you been? TIM: I was having a Turkish bath & watching a film on television. HARRY: What was showing? TIM: Nothing... I had a towel wrapped round me. (Goon Show, 19 Feb 1952)

Post a spy

FX: PHONE RINGS... PETER: Secombe, this is Moriarty. Where are you? HARRY: A shirt-bending factory in Leeds. PETER: But nobody wants bent shirts! HARRY: I know. Business is terrible! (Goon Show, 17 Feb 1953)

BILL: Comment allez-vous? Ying tong iddle i po. NED: He's speaking French in a foreign language. Is anyone here bilingual? ECCLES: I speak 2 languages. NED: Say 'yes' in French. ECCLES: Si si. NED: That's Italian ECCLES: What do you know? I speak 3 languages. (Goon Show, 14 Feb 1957)

SECOMBE: Look - there's a moose over there. Give me the gun. CRUN: Shoot, Secombe, shoot! FX: SHOT ECCLES: OK, I've shot Secombe. What now? (Goon Show, 12 Feb 1954)

HARRY: Let me have a look at the menu... er... what's deuxième janvier? PETER: That's the date. HARRY: Can I have custard on it? (Goon Show, 10 Feb 1953)

BB: What time is it Eccles? E: Just a minute, I got it written down here on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning BB: Oh! Then why do you carry it around with you? E: Well if anybody asks me the time I can show it to them Goon Show, 7 Feb 1957 youtu.be/ctM_Rvgjfpo?...

Goon Show 6.25: The Fear of Wages. Not heard this one before, but I knew the title, I'd seen it on tapes when I was a kid. At the time I'd never heard of Henri-Georges Clouzot's classic film The Wages of Fear, so didn't make the connection. #GoonForARun www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

BLUEBOTTLE: I shall not speak. No word shall pass my lips. Beat me, torture me, burn me with red-hot irons - I will not speak... Until it hurts. (Goon Show, 5 Feb 1954)

BLOODNOK: Do you remember me? We served together during the war. SEAGOON: Gad! So we did. The British Restaurant! BLOODNOK: Of course. I was on the afters but I deserted. (Goon Show, 3 Feb 1958)

Custard!

NED: What are you doing up that tree? GRYTPYPE-THYNNE: We're mountaineering on a rather tight budget. (Goon Show, 31 Jan 1957)

BENTINE: My father was a great forest clearance expert. He chopped down every tree in the Sahara Forest. MILLIGAN: You mean the Sahara Desert! BENTINE: Ah - that's what they call it now. (Goon Show, 29 Jan 1952)

If you see this post, post a pic from your device without an explanation

Pertwee's Progress - Broadcast on the BBC Light Programme April to June 1955, and written by Goons alumni Jimmy Grafton and Larry Stephens. Jon Pertwee is joined by Mercy Haystead, Fenella Fielding, Dick Emery and Mrs Shufflewick.

SECOMBE: What's this thing on the greyhound track SELLERS: What? SECOMBE: This... It's a sort of wooden box with a door on the front which is opened by a spring. SELLERS: Careful, Secombe. This may be a trap. (Goon Show, 27 Jan 1953)

Today marks 66 years since the death of Larry Stephens

OTD 1959: The Goons recorded the absolute belter 'Dishonoured - Again', which soon after turned up on their first commercial LP release. In the audience that night was Larry Stephens, who had co-written so many Goon Shows. Sadly he died a few hours later of a cerebral haemorrhage.

ECCLES: You ever seen your daddy's legs? BLUEBOTTLE: No, he always takes them to work with him. ECCLES: Oh. What for, Bottle? BLUEBOTTLE: He uses them to stop his trousers from bending. (Goon Show, 24 Jan 1957)

ECCLES: I looked up my dad's trousers and I discovered something. BLUEBOTTLE: What? ECCLES: That's where he keeps his legs. (Goon Show, 24 Jan 1957)

Choose 20 books that have stayed with you or influenced you. One book per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, no reviews, just covers (WITH ALT TEXT). #BookSky💙📚 #Books #BookChallenge 20/20 DONE! #ButWaitThere'sMore ... 34

I have a big ask. My 9yo son is autistic and he’s been raising a betta fish he named Kevin. Yesterday He asked if he could “share a photo of Kevin with the whole world“. I don’t know if this will work, but a dad’s gotta try. Like and share if that’s your thing. Kevin says hi! 🐟👋

NED: So you think this house is a mirage? Ohhhh! It's vanished. Gone. You were right - a mirage. BLOODNOK: I told you it was. ECCLES: (Approaching scream) FX: CRASH OF BODY BLOODNOK: What happened? ECCLES: I was upstairs. (Goon Show, 22 Jan 1954)

PETER: I'm disguised as a piano string. HARRY: Which one? PETER: I can't remember. I'm too highly strung. HARRY: I'll play a scale & find out where you are... That's Doh... That's Ray... PETER: ...That's me. (Goon Show, 20 Jan 1953)