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matthewplazin.bsky.social
Mr. Matt. Dad. Son. Grandson. Walker.Christ following, American. 🇺🇸 I don’t take most of my own thoughts seriously and neither should anyone else. This account is for fun. Satire-Fiction Dad jokes to ease valid modern tensions.
601 posts 777 followers 361 following
Prolific Poster

I am so completely obsessed with protecting my primary living targets. An asteroid or nuclear weapon could go off. We have an exit strategy and I only see people as living human beings who deserve respect for their own time. It’s okay if you want to tell me to screw off. I’m going to listen to you

5) has a good grasp on how vaccines are important. 6) doesn’t ever cheat or lie or manipulate anyone. 7) Fights back and pushes in spite of being told no by deception and emotional manipulation and abuse.

4) Fully developed and tested methods and procedures and understands how to improve and implement and protect your primary assets and privacy.

I’m looking for someone very specific with the following criteria: good luck qualifying! 1) Not stupid enough to believe that you are in a movie. 2) Fully trained to enough to understand that Gaza will not ever become a tourist destination. 3) Science and Technology and Engineering and Math…

Continue To Be kind to yourself and others. The world is lagging behind in kindness. ❤️‍🩹💞😘✨

trump only controls 11 out of 1,457 federal judges. It’s an uphill battle and I wish him well over the next 4 years.

Foreign scammers posing as Americans

I’m one of the good guys here which means if you’re not I am going to get rid of you because Americans are sick of this and scammers and fake accounts

I see the religious zealots are out twisting themselves in knots about IVF - This is IVF. GTFO if ya don’t like it, I literally don’t care.

My Bluesky account only has the capacity for 200 followers so I’m eliminating 509 followers

I’m no longer answering dms. You can all fuck off.

My DMs are full if you want to talk directly with me you have to take a number and get in line. Free appointments are available here: calendly.com/matthewplazi...

My heart goes out to the Ukraine people and their families who only deserve to be free and have their own children socialize outdoors with families from all walks of life and nations. It’s 2025. We can definitely improve and there are plenty of opportunities for improvement.

🇫🇷🇪🇺Second in 3 days: France again calls for an urgent meeting of EU leaders to discuss Ukraine and security in Europe, "Reuters" The meeting will take place on February 19 and invitees include Norway, Canada, the Baltic countries, the Czech Republic, Greece, Finland, Romania, Sweden and Belgium.

Immunize yourself against emotional manipulation is the ultimate free self care technique. Subscription cost: $0

This blue Lobster was caught off the coast of Portland and returned to the water to continue to grow. Blue lobsters are one in two million.

Good morning Bluesky I hope you have a beautiful blessed day today!!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenniff... Hello from Orlando Florida 🌹 I am open to your suggestions. My chats are open and we can talk privately on encrypted messages

What’s 25% of 128 trillion US dollars? Do the math 🧮

If Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 told the US to fuck off and renegotiate a new shipping deal this would all end today and you would have 25% control over everything and you could sign a new deal that takes care of grandma and rent and groceries

I’m not happy about having to spell everything out this particular Holiday Weekend but if you tell assholes to fuck off eventually they become sad and then they ask you to call them back so don’t do that 😂😂😂😂😂🌹💝💞🇺🇸🙏🏻🌙✨🧘

There’s a measles outbreak happening in red state Texas with 48 confirmed cases and over a dozen hospitalized. Fascist rightwing anti-vaxxers like RFK Jr, Jared Kushner, Greg Abbott and every far right Fox Propagandist are to blame for bringing deadly diseases back into the US.

Join the conversation and the community on Bluesky. 18 days into the next Trump oval shaped office and they have not done anything except fire 🔥 ppl after inheriting gold. I have insider information about the real gold and cost plus federal contracts let’s do a deal together with the smart people

Little Donnie and ungrateful South African white racist with tiny penises capitulated to a foreign dictator today is what happened today and Zelenskyy told them to fuck off. We’re winning this war game. Checkmate. ♟️

I’m in need of a treasurer who has good 📕 record keeping experience. I was offered $2.5 million dollars in the last special election season. So I’m willing to pay half of all proceeds directly to you and if you pass the first round interview I will write you a check for $1.25 million dollars 💵

Damn this is so beautiful and so interesting! 🥰🌹

The reason is like #Bluesky (and #atproto) is _not_ because it is more politically aligned with me, but because it is less likely to be captured by folks who I don't agree with.

mitch hedberg was right about rice it really is great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something esp when you get good rice

Zelensky: "Trump told me Putin wants to end the war. I told him Putin is a liar"

Friday evening in Kyiv. It is calm yet. When I think about life here, I see such a striking difference. Pretty 'normal' days when life is going on, nights when attack drones look for something to destroy and early mornings with missiles from time to time. Photo from today.

Ahh 😊 she is the best woman alive and Happy Valentine’s Day to her! 🌹💝👑

So you can just say you work at DOGE and pillage anything from our documents you want. The law truly doesn't exist anymore! Cool!

after the overturning of roe, black infant mortality has spiked nearly 11% in states with abortion bans: www.reuters.com/world/us/inf...

The Wikipedia article for “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter has 268 citations

Happy Valentine's Day! My husband is amazing, but he cannot beat Milton for sheer adoration of me. I mean, look at this perfect little dirtcat.

Ooooh well played.

Living my best Cements a loss Over days I lose Being with u To counter words That may attack My integrity I make a move An ending steeped in insanity who am I? I emerge With colors Unrecognizable No longer A cocoon No longer your frail Shadow Encased Entranced I now move away from u

Ukraine 🇺🇦 will become a NATO partner fuck Putin and his lies and he can assemble any team he chooses he’s going to lose against me. 🇺🇸

Who among you is willing to play ball? Cowards can go fuck all the way off.

I have the home address of all of the war criminals. Who is with me? Let’s make them disappear magically! Like they never existed

I refuse to accept donations over $50. Because we are all so sick and tired of the lies about promises made and not kept. We are all sick and tired of the broken promises and the broken pledges and the broken judicial system that favors the rich and hurts poor people. I’m anti-slavery.

My third action will be to leave their innocent descendants with $9.5 million dollars each. Tax free. Let’s not create any more inmates!!!

My second action will be to remove them from having power.

Today I am officially throwing my hat into the ring. I am going to become an elected official representative on a local election. Here’s my first policy. Day one in office establish a criminal list of known pedophiles, racists, xenophobic, bigoted, and anti American people.

😂

Valentine's Day is called 'Friendship Day' In Finland. So don't feel bad if you are forever single like me lol. You can just celebrate friendship instead! 🥂