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mayonnaisebuttho.bsky.social
i'm just here to bully my wife
82 posts 34 followers 33 following
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Your award was a rotisserie chicken.
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We've been together for five years.
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We've been together for five years.
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Nothing matters
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You want our baby to kill your dad?
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You looked like "a lesbian on vacation."
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No, I'm upset because you've eaten eleven, and I've had one.
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Nah, that's just cuz you ate beets.
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Sounds like you just died, so maybe not.
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It's good and you're lucky I can't find which container it's in right now.
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Turns out, he's got an incurable case of stinkin'
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I made you a sandwich this morning.
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Are you proud of yourself?
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My friend's grandma?
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You're missing out on so many coupons.
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You really don't know where I put anything.
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It's because the internet knows you stole this joke.
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I can't believe someone brought their own fish to the lake.
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Damn, I really love the moon.
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It still hasn't pulled me away from my puzzle, so how good can it be?
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We're just a couple of friends who put our boobs on each other's heads.
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If I'm being real and not an ass for a moment, it's because she means more to me than a friend. Also, I have a best friend. I'm on the phone with him right now.
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I do neither of those things and also you aren't cool.
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I like this one.
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I hate worms.
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Boring!
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The last time she bought cookies, she ate seven in one night and I got one.
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We get it, you don't like Vineyard Valentine. I have 150 upvotes.
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I hate him so much.