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mcnugget.bsky.social
America’s brother-in-law he/him
2,048 posts 1,047 followers 566 following
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Posts 46 Comments 4

Noticing a weird sound is one of the top things you can do for free

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

In Miami reading the Wikipedia for “Art Deco”

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Parking lot before the Turnstile movie holds the record for most weed vapes hit in most Honda Odysseys at once

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

me, age 16: I like all genres, punk, blues, folk, jazz (white stripes, white stripes, white stripes, white stripes with a lil imagination)

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

My love language is English. Frankly I think it’s a bit contrived to imagine I’d fall in love with someone who didn’t speak the same language as me.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Guys love to say “I’m too weird for a normal job, that’s why I install HVAC”

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Mayo the cinco be with you

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

Fuck it I’m a Jack Antonoff apologist

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Lower back glowing like a Zelda boss

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

I asked my wife if she’d heard Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter and she laughed harder than a hyena

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Despite years of Wu-Tang listenership AND my huge yellow logo t-shirt, my Very Special White Boy certificate still hasn’t come 🤔

submitted 69 days ago • 1 comment

I’m so not sexist, I actually think only men should be nurses

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

“Speakers are backwards microphones” sounds like a high-thought but is actually literally true

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

Scientology is real but actually thetans are good and I want to get all of them

submitted 74 days ago • 1 comment

(34-year-old opening an airbnb with daddy’s money) tell ‘em Skylar did it

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

If an old guy talks to you at the urinal just say “I’m glad Vietnam won”

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t know who The Rizzler is and at this point I’m afraid to ask

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

White Lotus is a compendium of all the incorrect ways to have sex

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t WANNA listen to my book club book, I WANNA listen to podcasts about POOP JOKES and PENIS JOKES and COMMUNISM

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

My daughter just whispered “Nana… love is puke” into her grandmother’s ear

submitted 92 days ago • 1 comment

New Xbox Live Message from xX_deusvult_pete_Xx squad up n bomb houthis??

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve never matched the high of being a kid digging a hole for no reason

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

This nation cannot heal until we abandon March Madness and embrace March Gladness

submitted 462 days ago • 1 comment

Australian Bachelor fans be like “the Bitchluh”

submitted 457 days ago • 1 comment

I love gambling. Not because I think I might make money, only because I love to sin

submitted 445 days ago • 1 comment

I think less of each and every person who does a Draft Kings ad

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Busta Rhymes should try auctioneering

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

Siri is actually super down to earth in real life

submitted 103 days ago • 0 comments

You show up to the gig with a COOLMUSIC brand amp you’re getting your ass kicked by a guy with an Elliott Smith tattoo

submitted 541 days ago • 2 comments

Having a diagnosis doesn’t make you not an asshole

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

I sneezed while bending over and tweaked my back so I guess that can happen now

submitted 115 days ago • 1 comment

I set the limit and this still feels like a judgement

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

The only innovations in this country now are low-calorie drinks in a matte can that cost $2.50

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

I got the boobs like Jagger

submitted 122 days ago • 0 comments

In classical terms Elon is what you’d call a Sucka MC

submitted 122 days ago • 0 comments

If I was rich when I was 18 I would have a full sleeve Homestar Runner tattoo from the only licensed tattoo shop in Emmet County Michigan

submitted 122 days ago • 0 comments

DRAKE more like FAKE Kendrick you can use this if you want

submitted 126 days ago • 0 comments

Instagram is so stupid. Why am I addicted to seeing what memes Megan and Ben liked 42 times a day

submitted 128 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Our economy scams built on scams, half my mental energy is wasted keeping my guard up, and if I let my guard down for a moment it’s going to bankrupt me in ways I haven’t comprehended yet Therapist: damn that sucks 😞 that’ll be $300

submitted 128 days ago • 1 comment

In a sense vegans are the true Hamburger Helpers

submitted 129 days ago • 0 comments

You know under John Fetterman’s hoodie is a t-shirt of Stewie Griffin smoking a blunt

submitted 129 days ago • 0 comments

Unfortunately shooting heroin is probably awesome

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

I won’t do 23 and Me. Not because of the data mining, I’d just be so sad to find out I’m Dutch

submitted 133 days ago • 1 comment

If Kendrick is such a great lyricist why didn’t he realize “peekaboo” rhymes with “pee n poo”

submitted 137 days ago • 0 comments

Confucian Proverb: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is 19 years ago. The third best time is 18 years ago. The fourth best time is 17 years ago. The fifth best time is 16 years ago. The sixth best time is 15 years ago. The seventh best time—

submitted 143 days ago • 1 comment

I have a 2011 Reddit Bacon attitude toward coffee

submitted 144 days ago • 0 comments