mechanicalmeat.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.

submitted 23 hours ago • 1427 comments

“Well fellas, whichever one of you is faster will have a great story to tell.”

submitted 2 days ago • 17 comments

the algo's plum lost its -rithm

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

STOCKS SKUNKED LINE LOWERED MARKET MASHED TRADERS TWITCHY BONDS BUSTED NATION NERVOUS

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Made garlic bread out of frozen hamburger buns to support the #EconomicBoycott today.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

does any other gen-xer remember the text-based RPG "Wizard's Castle"? my first encounter with a computer game, and how exciting it was.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, if you look out the windows on your left you'll see some fish... this is the worst I've ever messed up

submitted 30 days ago • 4 comments

no man is an island. no woman, an atoll. and similarly no child is an islet.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Yesterday was rough The culmination of major events Weighing on my spirit Grief stricken and hopeless I let myself feel I let tears fall down And when it was over I picked myself back up And prepared to do it all over again This isn’t permanent Time will provide opportunity And I’ll be ready for it

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

narrator on wealth concentration it did not, in fact, trickle down

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

my new DEI hire (dog equity inclusion)

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

I ran out of chips on my shoulder when they brought out the guac (it put all my grudges to rest)

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

in progress: a short story about the cleavage of a cougar who's stalking me called "Silicon Valley".

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

Wow babe are you a fossil fuel because I do not like your energy

submitted 43 days ago • 15 comments

Today is a recrudescence of the kakistocracy

submitted 45 days ago • 1 comment

MY OTHER CAR IS ALSO A CAR It contains my 2.4 children I am currently searching for it Please help me find my kids

submitted 82 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 50 days ago • 14 comments

who up mixin up they orbs

submitted 52 days ago • 1 comment

i gallop triumphantly into the living room astride my majestic steed Swiffer, a small cloud of soon-to-be swiffed dust announcing each fall of his single white hoof

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

words matter feelings happen bird poop may splatter but it is also God's creation

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

on a NYE in my youth i repeatedly went outside and shouted Happy New Year, Hawaii! and also for various countries in different time zones. my belated apologies to all affected neighbors.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume? Me: I was in an Ikea

submitted 76 days ago • 22 comments

lookin' down the barrel of a... well it's just a barrel lying here. how do i say that then? "lookin' down the barrel" and we're done here i suppose.

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

convince people you've lost it by muttering "make it make cents" at the penny slot machine

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

the cat would like to say something

submitted 80 days ago • 7 comments

You can lead a horse to water, but it will not be super impressed. Horses know about water

submitted 82 days ago • 15 comments

hoo nose another name for owl beak

submitted 90 days ago • 1 comment

We'll simply put democracy on the block-chain

submitted 93 days ago • 1 comment

In the future, a barber will cut your fat

submitted 94 days ago • 1 comment

police procedures if they were a musical: --- Miranda! read him his rights. whoo boy you know you're in trouble? well that's not the only thing... you have the right - to remain fabulous - to consult an esthetician - to stop answering non-fabulous questions

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

an alien visits Earth and tries stand-up comedy, "Area 51, more like Intergalactic Impound am i right?"

submitted 95 days ago • 1 comment

animals the snake snaked through the reeds, the ferret tried to ferret out the snake, the weasel weaseled his way out of helping. the bear could do nothing but grin and bear it, as the dove dove headlong into bear's bag of bread; and the whale had a whale of a time witnessing the what-have-you.