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mediatrikcxs.bsky.social
they/them/there are microscopic doses of strawberry flavor melatonin gummies in all of my posts
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Trump Struggling To Remember How He Related To Elon Musk theonion.com/trump-s...

Not to get too intense about everything going on but it is really an ideology of death run by evil skeleton people who drink from a dread altar of blood

almost nobody has my name so probably me

americans: we miss wokeness. we miss pronouns. please give us new sexual orientations we beg of you donald trump:

just received my 𝟏.𝟎𝟎𝟎.𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐬. thank you @𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐬

you must do it! you must listen to every vile, incoherent thing trump says on the news, and speculate on it alongside all the pundits! you must let the abrasions of the voice and the words grind you into a paste. it is your DUTY because if you dont then everything htat happens is your fault

This week marks the publication of SUMUD: A NEW PALESTINIAN READER, edited by Malu Halasa and Jordan Elgraby of the Markaz Review. We’re proud and grateful to spend this week celebrating the book by sharing some excerpts, beginning with today’s piece from Noor Hindi, Pledging Allegiance.

i am going to do my best to hold tight to my happiness and reject the misery they want to put in my heart. i will be encouraging everyone i know to do the same. i recognize that this will often come across as inappropriate or tone deaf. it's my firm belief that if we give up this ground we've lost.

was mostly keeping it together until I read Kyle MacLachlan's tribute to David Lynch

im only 6’ but im always so happy to help a stranger reach something, but only strangers. friends get the object held just out of reach and are forced to jump for it.

this is going to maybe sound crazy but i started watching the 1000-lb sisters bc of trixie mattel's recommendation and this is honestly perfect television

honestly could not focus on a lot of Queer bc i was so distracted by how much drew starkey looks like josh from the youtube channel mythical kitchen

ME: who lurks in the shadows of my bedroom? NOSFERATU: it’s Nosferatu ME: who? NOSFERATU: Nosferatu ME: I don’t understand what you’re saying NOSFERATU: I’m Nosferatu ME: NOSFERATU: *sighs* it’s Dracula ME: eek

I ate a babybel cheese as an adult and got 25 to life in the slammer

bean every day to himself in the mirror, affirmation-style

all i have eaten since i got to my parents' house is bread pudding, hawai'ian buns, and amazingly delicious mexican food

there needs to be a word for when you know you need to get something done but it keeps just not getting done. bc "i haven't had the time" isn't quite right, neither is "i keep forgetting" and people don't know what "i have executive dysfunction issues" means

I’m going to say something bold here and publicly state that “murder is not the way to solve national problems” but suffering from chronic debilitating pain seems to be a much more logical reason for someone to go apeshit than women being in Star Wars

"If a journalist calmly and truthfully explaining the problems with an industry or the problems of a company, with no embellishment, just explaining what the problem is directly to camera, comes off as a threat or comes off as a motive, then perhaps that industry is the problem."

i hate discovering a new hot person through an instagram post of their engagement photoshoot

dear mister doctor please can i have the results from the blood i gave you please

At this point I think running a crypto scam is net neutral because if you’re still getting crypto scammed these days you simply can’t be that good of a person. It’s not like the lottery or any of these normalized scams, it’s just intellectually and morally bankrupt

every information page about heartburn is always like get the head of your bed raised but DO NOT just get more pillows and it's like. what are you gonna do if i just get more pillows? be mad ?

im not sure which is more fun to imagine: 1. the claims adjustor reading everyone being obsessed w him and the nypd tripping over their dicks trying to find him or 2. him having absolutely no idea any of this is going on bc he's completely off the grid thousands of miles away from US soil

you all are not going to believe this because it's surely never happened to you but i finally did the task ive been putting off for weeks, possibly months, and it took about 5 minutes and zero brainpower

probably "rich off Catfish like PetCo"

Noooooooo you can't say it's good that an evil person got killed in a way that makes countless other evil people worldwide real fuckin nervous all at once in a way that u can physically feel in the zeitgeist around you, that tickles the soul and delights the senses, what are you, some kind of ghoul

my most right wing belief might actually be 'anyone can say faggot if the context is funny enough'

honey bunches of oats with almonds and oat milk for dessert save me...... save me honey bunches of oats with almonds and oat milk for dessert

Illinois has put an end to the injustice of cash bail. And it’s working better than anyone expected.