mikeormoshe.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

It’s every young person’s dream to go to chocolate bar camp, they also have ice cream sandwiches there

submitted 10 hours ago • 0 comments

Almost everyone with face tats has them because they are huge Star Wars stans; don’t lie to me, tough guy!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Watching my 32nd Hong Sang-Soo film today, and yes, just as you guessed, alone

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Continually embarrassed; when will I ever learn? The dress code?!? I keep showing up to the black tie event wearing nothing but charcuterie

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

The vegan burrito gardens of the neighbourhood are no longer safe

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Me: [at the restaurant, bathed in soup, looking rather pleased w/myself, noticing the horror in your gaze] this is why I don’t wear white

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Went to a restaurant this weekend and a friend served me, felt just like I was in the movies!

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Torontomans reintegration into society plot, point 72: Instead of saying, “YO CRODIE—YR GRANDMA’S THA THROAT GOAT” Say, “hello sir, your grandmother is unparalleled in the art of fellatio”

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

All you gotta do is rearrange the letters, the man’s real name is Lone Skum #themoreyouknow #incelalert

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

@flavorflav.bsky.social hey how do you REALLY feel about daylight savings time?

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

I would like to be woken up by a cute kitten dropping a couple crisp hundreds onto my chest but I’ll take eTransfer as well 🐈

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

If pepper spray is illegal, then surely leper spray should be as well. Only a certified professional should administer the leprosy spray

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Like origami paper to an armless man, these are the days of our lives

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Today on Pie Thoughts: could really go for a Saskatoon berry pie, but you know somethin’ folks, I gotta admit I’ve never tried huckleberry…are they similar? Have a magical Monday mfers✨🌴✨

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Ah dreamland, where I’m a flying samouraï, desperately seeking a urinal

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Once I’m on death row, I’ll instantly put in my request for last meal

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Full disclosure, to my 22 followers…I have been using performance enhancers to create these gems hmu if you need to get loud🥬🥬

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Did I just dream up Cookie Water™️? If it already exists EWW

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

One good thing about the past is all those pies…boy we sure had some good ones, key lime, cherry, lemon meringue…where did they all go?!

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Alas, at times sleeping ‘twixt nine pillows and two comely courtesans doth no longer suffice; I am in need of greater comfort to stave off the gnawing of solitude

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

New destination: any timeline where the spork is more popular and I have a full set of genitals

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

A club that opens one room at a time; we let the first 20 into my living room where I take all phones and we watch Christmas in July (1940), free popcorn. Next room opens and it’s just Marcos Valle playing his Rhodes, requests taken

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Well I guess I suspected something was up when she barely took a bite of the meal I made for her, brown rice fusilli and Mikeballs™️…what am I doing wrong?!?

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Out of the 30 languages I profess to speak, only ten are made up

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine sticking legs on a dolphin, no pants, add rain boots Wait, I got distracted, were you about to ask me out?

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

One glorious aspect of being single is my nightly concert of feel good flatulence, 3-4 hours of expelling, the sounds are heavenly

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

A Korean gin enthusiast enters the party… “Hi, they call me Soju Li Ah”

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

HEAVY valley girl accent こんにちは、新しいお友達！どうですか？私の名前はシンディです！

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Table of two older couples at the Chinese restaurant reading fortune cookies… “You’re supposed to say ‘in bed’ after your read them!” “Why would I do that?” “It’s to be funny!!”

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

There’s never been a better time than NOW to be wicked depressed

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

We asked a group of hornets to name their favourite member of The Police, and you won’t believe their answer!

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

When I was much younger I worried about botulism, but I’ve never heard of anyone contracting it. Also I’ve never heard anyone say they’ve eaten a chimichanga

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

been sitting on tracks way too long. on.soundcloud.com/ngEgkVHUmXJs...

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

“Experts” are so full of it eh? Go ahead and ask a PhD candidate in history what happened in 7829 BC, they have no clue! Go ahead and ask a philosophy professor who’s the goat today, no opinion! Ask a sexologist why my wife isn’t sleeping with me anymore, they all have no idea!!!!

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

Dialogue from an ‘exciting upcoming’ R. Eggers project that came about after he thought, hmm how about Challengers plus random cuck “Well you, umm, fiancée really and truly must abstain from your continued interest in the pursuit of pleasuring two gentlemen simultaneously, dare say I”🍆🍆🍆

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

While I have a $5 million house and a much younger wife, my columns stress that a solid moral grounding is the most important thing in life. But in my hip-hop heart, I know that to a kid looking up at me, life ain’t nothing but bitches and money. by David Brooks

submitted 57 days ago • 37 comments

The five year old committed a small infraction so I asked, “What should your punishment be?” “Umm…blowjob” me looking very confused “You could use the blow dryer to heat up my bum!” Aww what a cute imaginary five year old I have eh

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Was a time when one would be executed for insulting someone with a line like “you couldn’t find the east while the sun is shining!” Saddest part is if that happened today, you probably wouldn’t even get so much as a slap

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

guys. relax. it wasn’t a nazi salute. it was just a hitler salute

submitted 61 days ago • 8 comments

i hope you are all having a good new year so far. cause i’m fucking not. day 5 and i already got my dick and balls stuck in a revolving door. the police had to get involved

submitted 76 days ago • 1 comment

Last year was a big deal for dudes that women and gay men are into, like the jumping penis man and the murder guy…competition eh 👀

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

It's so sad what culture has come to. Political division. Rap music. "Gooning" to dehumanizing internet porn. Used to be you could turn on the radio and all you'd hear is songs about wonderful teddy bear picnics. And then you would drink a big cup of mercury and get behind the wheel of your Model A.

submitted 63 days ago • 5 comments

My 8 yo just showed me a drawing of Skeletor pleasuring Bambi. Actually this is a great example of why I shouldn’t have kids and don’t. I would be constantly lying about their activities. Also, I like to sleep

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

[Guy who has only ever seen one werewolf movie finally watching another werewolf movie] "Why aren't all of the lady characters attempting to bang the werewolf? When is the werewolf going to surf upon the moving cars? Why does the werewolf not use its powers to excel at basketball?"

submitted 63 days ago • 3 comments

Wonder what the casting process for nuns who take off their clothes onscreen entails. Aren’t you the least bit curious? I’ll bet dollars to donuts that some would actually get off on the idea smdh

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

Carply Parker-Fisher? Chauwnpeend Berechi? Clurry Spunshio? Don’t recognize these names? Don’t worry, I made them up for you!

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

How to find out if you’re talking to a 5 year old; get them to say ‘sour cream,’ dead fucking giveaway

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments