Profile avatar
mikilt22.bsky.social
Idiom Savant, kilt wearer, cat dad, ardent atheist, cannabis enthusiast, tower of tomfoolery, ukulele freak, married, woke, feminist, math guy, LGBTQ+ ally.
42 posts 44 followers 37 following
Prolific Poster

Sexy astronauts have or-asms because there are zero Gs

Being on the wrong side of history when it's repeating itself is like failing an open-note test. WTF America?

Apparently, the generation following Gen Z is termed "Generation Alpha". Back to the beginning of the alphabet. Weird. I always thought that Forrest Gump was Gen-A.

"Who has the best calamari?" "I don't know, they're itentacle!"

I'm so confused all the time, my spirit animal is the bewilderedbeest. You've never heard this joke before because it's gnu.

Ah, White Castle. Wee meat, again.

At the grocery store, as the cashier was handing me my receipt. I motioned toward an endcap display with protein powder. I asked, "Do you know why that shelf is so heavenly?" He shrugged. "There's no whey in hell"

Metamucil? More like Meta-deuce-il

To the people who stayed home on election day- or who actually thought a second term of Trump was a good idea. Fuck You.

Republican sycophants…

The real hubris of Dump voters is believing that we're still friends after they vote to hurt us and our loved ones. "I can be an adult about it!" is their claim. Here is some high octane adulting. Ready? Actions have consequences.

When an employer offers a low wage to candidates, it sends a message. You don't deserve a nice place to live You are legally entitled to vacation. You can afford a staycation You aren't worth investing in, so we won't even try to keep you here. I don't apply where I don't feel respected.

Misogyny is believing Taylor Swift and Beyonce sold their souls for success, but Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos earned their success

How does Hooters pay employees? Owly

The Tesla GPS kept telling me to take the Third Reich

Schoolhouse Rock never prepared us for the fall of democracy.

Stop saying "It's going to be a long 4 years." He is in too deep now. He can never be a private citizen again, lest he be held accountable. He will take it all, and the GOP will gladly hand over. He will make himself king and the only way for him to keep power is brutal fascism. America is dead.

Fire trucks are really water trucks

Dear MAGA, The inauguration will be a private affair. Just Trump & the broligarchs in the rotunda. No seating for you. No special events to acknowledge your support. Not to worry. There will be emails later urging you to buy Trump coins, shoes, bibles, hats etc. Keep that cash coming. Be best.

Snoop, I don't know if you were threatened or what. I'm just really disappointed that you're participating in this horrid charade. Meanwhile, Taylor Swift is standing like a boss!

He wanted to rename the Gulf of Mexico after himself... But "Bay of Pigs" was already taken

Food for thought.

I don't really use Tik Tok myself. Not even sure I have a proper account. But that doesn't leave me unaffected. I feel for the people who have business there. I don't care about lip synch or 99% of Tik Tok. I just think it's a bullshit priority to ban it instead of doing something to help folks

When it comes to puns, sighs matter

"Lisa Bonet ate no basil" spelled backward is "Lisa Bonet ate no basil"

Meatball noodle bake. I added dijon to the sauce. Super yummy!

Everything is difficult until you try. And fail. And try again. Then you practice. And practice. And when it feel like you've practiced forever and you still suck, practice more. One day, something else becomes difficult.

I heard it quipped that when you're peckish and you keep checking the fridge for something to eat, you're not actually looking for some treat you missed before, you're looking to see if your standards have lowered. Similar to job hunting. When you don't get the jobs you want, you start to settle.

Billionaires better hope they're taxed. All over the country, it's being shouted that billionaires are the greedy m-fers that are getting ever more wealthy at the expense of workers. Something has to change. "Taxed" is the least violent option.

If you choose to not find joy in the snow You will have the same amount of snow But less joy. ~some proverb from somewhere

Forecast to be 8 degrees on Monday. But I'm planning to go hiking anyway. First, to stay away from TVs and internet for the day. Second, to get one more enjoyable day before someone discovers an exploitable resource there and it goes to shit.

People say that Trump has to go. They're right, but it won't fix anything. Trump is only a symptom of the underlying rot. America will not recover. It was never great, we've just lost the illusion that it ever was.

Henry

Carrie Underwood: What you get when you order Taylor Swift from Temu

Feels like we're the only ones still actively avoiding COVID.

Q: What do you get when you cross a seal with a pod of orca? A: A pod of orca

Folks here call themselves "Akronites" I say "Akronian"

G'day. I made Mo's birthday cupcakes two weeks ago for the first time. She loved them and gave me her blessing to make them again. It's a very special secret recipe that Lisa wouldn't even share until we were married! So today I made them for Mo's birthday and I am excited.