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milkhold.bsky.social
Free speech Absolut-ist (if I have to listen to you, I'm going need some vodka) PPPPPP - Prior planning prevents piss poor performance (Borat voice) My posts! https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:loel7kmlfrekwulepwyv7lx4/feed/aaaam7xlir4ue
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Posts 33 Comments 15

"Two thumbs up!" - An octopus critic trashing a movie

submitted 4 days ago • 12 comments

Headline: Hooters prepares to file for bankruptcy amid declining foot traffic me: Foot traffic?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

If you are not in Philly, DO NOT ORDER A "PHILLY CHEESESTEAK." Whatever they bring you, it will be a mistake. I shouldn't have to tell you this.

submitted 5 days ago • 16 comments

The combination of totally haphazard, clueless dipshittery and calculated evil is really something.

submitted 5 days ago • 12 comments

Me: I like to take an incremental approach. Contrarians: We'll take an EXCREMENTAL approach!

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Your body is a temple? Mine is a wine cellar.

submitted 5 days ago • 5 comments

Him: [on one knee] Me: 👁️🫦👁️ Him: are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me get up.

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

Does it feel like I pick my decisions out of a hat? I get that, a lot.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Proctology is located in A55

submitted 10 days ago • 27 comments

Finally, an alternative to removal!

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I got fucking death threats for writing science fiction some dickheads disliked.

submitted 14 days ago • 173 comments

And that's why they get the coffee and you don't.

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Bob Ross.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

"Big news. BOE just cut rates. Who is our expert on cuts?"

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

The proof is in the pudding. * dick fixed it

submitted 18 days ago • 7 comments

I need to quit gum and take up smoking

submitted 17 days ago • 4 comments

My favorite thing to do when visiting Texas is to order pie in a diner and as the waitress walks away, I yell "Remember the ala mode!"

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Before I have coffee

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I would like to call for action but I don't know the phone number.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

The 5 stages of Man: 1) drink from boobs 2) stare at boobs 3) play with boobs 4) grow your own boobs 5) what are boobs?

submitted 412 days ago • 7 comments

If male ejaculation is good for prostate health, and I’ve provided plenty of happy endings, does that make me a philanthropist or a healthcare worker?

submitted 20 days ago • 62 comments

shirtless saturday or reverse winnie-the-pooh day?

submitted 22 days ago • 3 comments

Why don't they raise the temperature of the chicken coops so the hens lay hard boiled eggs?

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Dance like no one is watching/eat an avocado like the next one won't cost $8.

submitted 22 days ago • 3 comments

I think I just got well actually'd by my knees.

submitted 23 days ago • 6 comments

"There are no atheists in foxholes." True. Atheists don't fuck foxes.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

I like my eggs how I like my women Over easy

submitted 25 days ago • 5 comments

If Bruce Wayne and Diana Prince had a child he would probably use the moniker “Wonder Wombat Man” (I hope James Gunn doesn’t see this)

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

Rated NCC-1701 for violence to red shirts

submitted 27 days ago • 13 comments

Bringing my own Sharpie to Starbucks to help them out

submitted 27 days ago • 7 comments

At the family BBQ: Here, let me toss that salad. I’m a professional.

submitted 28 days ago • 10 comments

Where does one buy a nocturnal erection measuring device? Asking for a friend who wants to live forever.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

GF: Am I a MILF? Me: The M stands for Mom, so no. GF: So I'm a GILF? Me: The G stands for grandma, so no. GF: So what am I? Me: You're a girlfriend I like to f*** in several holes: GFILTFISH! Me: Where are you going?

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments