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mojoerussell.bsky.social
If you think you can hurt my feelings You’re right
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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey:

Sometimes I'll just make thumbnail graphics for YouTube videos that don't exist.

Tim: This is Tim from accounting Me: Hi Tim from accounting Tim: Just say Tim Me. Tim Tim: How are you today? Me: Tim

Cop: I'll let you off with a warning Me: thanks! Cop [eyes go black]: soon the planets will align with the galactic center, and the door to the realm between realms will open. He Who Slumbers in The Void will awaken and emerge into this universe at last Me: th- that uhh, seems worse than a ticket

i’m just photoshopping muppets onto the cover of harper’s bazaar: thread

🎶Can’t cut my steak in pieces This is a plastic fork It is well done No bleeding Don’t think this steak is one that I’ll be eating Not with this plastic fork🎶

Coulibaly, Coulibaly, golly what a day

Rudy Gobert plays offense like his hands are being controlled remotely by someone else.

Reichard’s broken 😬

The Jalen Nailor game™️

Your team: Timberwolves Fave current player: Ant 2nd Fave (not on my team): Kevin Durant Best player in NBA: Jokic Team you love to see lose: LAL/OKC/DAL/GSW Fave all time player: KG or Ricky Rubio. Or Nikola Pekovic. Maybe Mike Beasley

Life. Taxes. The Wolves giving up offensive rebounds. (Honorable mention to “Finchy letting a run last too long before finally calling a timeout.”)

Folks, that’s why his name isn’t Cooper Pass

Jeff Goldblum at the end of Jurassic Park:

*Peyton Manning appears in a cloud of smoke and fire holding a still beating human heart* I’m not just Peyton Manning…I’m also SATAN Manning

That TD gave me big ‘98 vibes lol

When Rudy Gobert is catching less-than-perfect passes, all the other team can do is accept defeat

Grady: Draymond Green is still on the ground Me:

finally finished downloading my limewire wrapped after 20 years

THE RUDICORN

I SEE YOU JOSH MINOTT

Rudy with great hands…?

Julius Randle is REALLY trying to win me over

thanksgiving is a holiday commemorating the time randy moss singlehandedly annihilated the dallas cowboys in 1998. it was actually celebrated for hundreds of years prior in anticipation of this prophesied holy event

It’s now officially “hate watching” when I watch the wolves

Call timeout and waive Randle

Dillingham is fun!

I honestly enjoyed watching the 2010 Timberwolves more than the 2024 Timberwolves so far

Best PF of all time don’t @ me

I tweeted this during the World Cup 10 years ago and I feel like it’s more relevant today than it was then 🫡

date: i like a guy with self-confidence me: he sounds nice

Imagine not having Julius Randle on your team 😮‍💨

[Me as a boxing commentator] Oh no they're hitting each other again, this is just like last time.