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mollycocktail.bsky.social
10 fingers 10 toes Your friendly neighborhood Mistress.
1,334 posts 8,175 followers 652 following
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Posts 43 Comments 6

Hegseth texts 🥃💪🏻🔥🇺🇸😂

submitted 40 days ago • 1 comment

Maybe a 1. Probably more like 0.5.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

Fixed it.

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

Who called him Pete Hegseth and not Whiskeyleaks?

submitted 41 days ago • 4 comments

how I get kidnapped

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Oh fuck off, Marissa. These are not war plans, they’re war concepts. 💅🏻

submitted 41 days ago • 2 comments

Not now, I’m trying to look inconspicuous here

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

This shit looks like his Call Of Duty team speak chat on XBox Live

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

Motorcycles are everywhere! I’ve set out traps.

submitted 41 days ago • 9 comments

I need spanx but for my face really gotta shape up these expressions when I’m out in public

submitted 41 days ago • 7 comments

A man’s follower count is worth twice as much as a woman’s. I can explain this to you but it’ll involve math.

submitted 41 days ago • 10 comments

Thanks, Mike. 💅🏻 🇺🇸💪🏻🔥

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Men soaking their faces in ice water fruit bowls is the new trad wives making sourdough bread.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

American cheese is just regular cheese with 70k in hospital bills

submitted 42 days ago • 53 comments

updating my bio to “no war plan dms”

submitted 42 days ago • 6 comments

Literally conservatives right now trying to make an excuse for texting top secret information to a journalist in a group chat

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Elon is so pissed rn

submitted 42 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 42 days ago • 1 comment

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Elon. Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s ketamine.

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

My Signal group chat is lit, yo. We in here trading beauty tips, macaroni salad recipes and nuclear codes.

submitted 43 days ago • 2 comments

Pete Hegseth is drunk texting me plans for the annexation of the Galápagos Islands because he “likes turtles”. Weird.

submitted 43 days ago • 5 comments

Is it one thousand skeets, or the same skeet one thousand different ways?

submitted 46 days ago • 5 comments

He said I’m like a bomb that just keeps exploding. *wiggles eyebrows*

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Oof it’s been a bit, huh… How you fucks doing?

submitted 46 days ago • 3 comments

2025 has taught me that you motherfuckers eat too many eggs. Knock that shit off.

submitted 73 days ago • 2 comments

random statement about the economy

submitted 73 days ago • 8 comments

I just want to be as optimistic as the rusty motel sign off the old highway that says COLOR TV

submitted 73 days ago • 11 comments

Fax your congressman. They love that.

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

My daughter is having her birthday party at a trampoline place today so I'll either come back with a spine injury or the bird flu. Hopefully both 🤞

submitted 73 days ago • 38 comments

It was the worst of times, it was the holy smokes how much worse are things gonna get of times.

submitted 73 days ago • 5 comments

*holding a gun to your head “Psp pssp psssp”, at your cat. Do it now.

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

Let’s get something straight here, Chad. Twitter is for gross boobs, shit poetry and unhappily married men. Bluesky is for mocking all of them mercilessly.

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

I’m so petty that I block monetized accounts on Twitter just to negatively impact their reach and fuck their metrics. It’s fun.

submitted 73 days ago • 2 comments

Whatever, Gillian. No one’s coming to your Pampered Chef party.

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

*opens door Everything still stupid af? Good. As you were. *slams door

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

If I’m nice enough to bring you coffee, don’t be rude and ask how I got in your house.

submitted 85 days ago • 2 comments

I hope pigs DO learn how to fly because imagine how great their wings will taste

submitted 89 days ago • 9 comments

I cant believe that I signed up for this time in history. I must have been drunk when I signed my soul contract.

submitted 86 days ago • 7 comments

If Bluesky was a housing plan it would be called Hogview Estates

submitted 85 days ago • 5 comments

here’s my stupid face doing what I do best: sucking down donuts 🍩

submitted 85 days ago • 4 comments

everything reminds me of him 😍

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments