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mothmanatee.bsky.social
144 posts 47 followers 63 following
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Posts 18 Comments 32

me: you dim sum, you lose some waiter (in chinese to other waiter): poison this man

submitted 118 days ago • 115 comments

The entire reason you curb the exercise of arbitrary power is it prevents one asshole's mood swings from wrecking an entire country! You don't praise it when it momentarily swings in your favor

submitted 6 days ago • 67 comments

biblically accurate angel who's showing a lot of cleavage: hey pal, my eyes are everywhere else

submitted 38 days ago • 3 comments

🎶DOCtor, DOCtor, gimme the NEWS, I've got a BAD CASE of NEEDING the NEWS!🎶

submitted 410 days ago • 2 comments

Texting Jesus like 👣👣 👣👣 👣 ┐ 👣 │ 👣 ├ ??? 👣 │ 👣 ┘ 👣👣 👣👣

submitted 19 days ago • 56 comments

oh my goddd im so sorry, just seeing this now 😰 do u guys still need artillery support

submitted 255 days ago • 27 comments

shopping for replacement stove knobs

submitted 20 days ago • 55 comments

on this day i'd like to remember the greatest political event in american history, the accidental booking of 4 seasons total landscaping instead of the four seasons hotel. surely nothing so dumb has been done since then.

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

I think of this whenever some conservative finds some supposedly wacky research topic that government grants pay for

submitted 29 days ago • 20 comments

in 2011, when this image was first posted online, it was funny. you wouldn't need an arsenal of guns for any reason, and besides, why wouldn't you use google to search? but it turns out that it was simply ahead of its time

submitted 32 days ago • 11 comments

POV: You’re a parent at JC Penny in 1992 and you can’t see your kids but you can hear them

submitted 50 days ago • 9 comments

✊✊

submitted 57 days ago • 5 comments

entering the tsa line with a crisp $100 bill in lieu of a ticket and an armload of loose laundry while taking pulls out of a 2-liter bottle of soda i am unwilling to throw away. the next person in line is 30 feet in front of me and i have not noticed. the plane i intend to board departs in 4 minutes

submitted 90 days ago • 36 comments

I'm playing two chess grandmasters by mail. One as white, the other as black. I just send them each other's moves. They both think I'm a genius. Both invite me to their homes to make love to their wives as they watch from the closet. That's when I secretly charge all my electronics. Free electricity

submitted 100 days ago • 19 comments

Not paying for a knob, not 3D printing a knob, but a secret third thing

submitted 99 days ago • 275 comments

Horse-Drawn Carriage

submitted 154 days ago • 5 comments

Downtown. 10th at Penn. Caller says that they see a man walking on the sidewalk heading deeper in downtown cracking a whip. Caller doesn’t like this.

submitted 105 days ago • 4 comments

@alexriesart.bsky.social surprise Birrin on the cover of Clarkesworld???!!!

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments