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mothmanatee.bsky.social
124 posts 41 followers 67 following
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Posts 19 Comments 31

POV: You’re a parent at JC Penny in 1992 and you can’t see your kids but you can hear them

submitted 4 days ago • 9 comments

✊✊

submitted 11 days ago • 5 comments

entering the tsa line with a crisp $100 bill in lieu of a ticket and an armload of loose laundry while taking pulls out of a 2-liter bottle of soda i am unwilling to throw away. the next person in line is 30 feet in front of me and i have not noticed. the plane i intend to board departs in 4 minutes

submitted 43 days ago • 36 comments

I'm playing two chess grandmasters by mail. One as white, the other as black. I just send them each other's moves. They both think I'm a genius. Both invite me to their homes to make love to their wives as they watch from the closet. That's when I secretly charge all my electronics. Free electricity

submitted 54 days ago • 19 comments

Not paying for a knob, not 3D printing a knob, but a secret third thing

submitted 53 days ago • 277 comments

Horse-Drawn Carriage

submitted 107 days ago • 5 comments

Downtown. 10th at Penn. Caller says that they see a man walking on the sidewalk heading deeper in downtown cracking a whip. Caller doesn’t like this.

submitted 58 days ago • 4 comments

@alexriesart.bsky.social surprise Birrin on the cover of Clarkesworld???!!!

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

"ai generate that scene from american history x but with the pixar lamp"

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

quicksand? more like sl

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

getting shot in the stomach and immediately stumbling towards my medicine cabinet to chug a bottle of pepto bismol

submitted 116 days ago • 55 comments

when I say I got that drip, this is the drip I'm talking about

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

my son: papa papa tell me the tale of the Beetle Warrior! me: alright, son, but only one more time, then head to bed. (I sit up straight, closing my eyes) His mandibles were strong, his antennae keen. His chitinous elytra had taken many blows, and his stridulations were deep, and his scutellum...

submitted 101 days ago • 1 comment

hey you guys stop fighting back there or i’m gonna turn this car around don’t make me turn this car around don’t you make me turn this car around and around and around and around don’t make me do donuts don’t you make me do a bunch of sick donuts in an icy parking lot

submitted 101 days ago • 6 comments

They're turning the frogs straight

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

Joseph Campbell: (cracking knuckles) Time to send you on a Hero's Gurney

submitted 111 days ago • 3 comments

webmd says i have "poster's lung", that's fine right?

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Care to link arms with me? I must warn you, I skip at an astonishing speed and I pull like an oxen

submitted 107 days ago • 3 comments

If you spent your time wisely this year, the daylight savings squid may leave a little ink under your pillow tonight

submitted 117 days ago • 85 comments