nerojodo.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

One NYE my partner found me drunk and sobbing on the bathroom floor. Convinced him I was just missing my mum. I'd actually just realised that if we always put new loo rolls at the front of the cupboard, the ones at the back could have been imprisoned there for years.

submitted 4 days ago • 15 comments

Years ago, I went to a birthday party in a small town. I went to a general store and asked if they had balloons. The fellow said yes. I asked if they had any in fun shapes and he said, "depends on how amusing you find circular". For some reason that's lived in my brain for years.

submitted 17 days ago • 6 comments

Fist Yourself With Michael Jackson's Sequinned Glove It's 8:00PM

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

NEW EPISODE! This episode surveys some methods of ancient divination, magic, and prophecy - from casting lots to consulting oracles and examining entrails, you could say this is an extispicy episode. (Yes, we know it's not pronounced like "exti-spice-y")

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

Further to this week's episode, we have a FREE CHARACTER IDEA for crime writers: an exotic dancer named EXXXtispicy who is also a ritualistic serial killer. She has left many dead, de-livered regional sales managers in her wake, and offered many heaps of burnt entrails to Shamash. You're welcome.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

At school, I didn't realise that the Animal Farm film that everyone spoke about, was different to the Animal Farm book we were due to read in English. I have never been so excited and subsequently disappointed.

submitted 26 days ago • 8 comments

For people who need villains to wear shirts saying “I’m the villain,” here you go.

submitted 32 days ago • 53 comments

I took my dog out of an expensive, brilliant daycare because I was bitter he never appeared on their Instagram.

submitted 39 days ago • 11 comments

Just sayin…

submitted 43 days ago • 164 comments

Since my girlfriend left me in August I've noticed that I've only used a multi pack and a half of bog roll which is a tiny fraction of the usage whilst she was here. Not had a shag mind.

submitted 55 days ago • 13 comments

Raised as a Catholic which meant a weekly trip to church to confess my sins. Aged 7, I was walking to church & just could not think of any sins I'd done. Wondered idly what'd happen if I confessed to murder? Got there. Confessed to murder. Much consternation. Bloody brilliant.

submitted 53 days ago • 11 comments

40 year old man. Never exercise. Just got up off the sofa with no hands like some kind of mad robot and feel proud about it. My confession is that I don't know how I did it and am rather buzzing about it. Going to try and do it again.

submitted 57 days ago • 9 comments

I once forgot to tape a concert for my mum. On discovery, I reset the clock on the video so that it read as AM rather than PM - 12 hours ahead/behind. BBC2 early morn TV was recorded the next day and, despite mum going ballistic, I was forgiven. Still feel bad forty years later.

submitted 65 days ago • 3 comments

Love it

submitted 66 days ago • 125 comments

submitted 67 days ago • 1 comment

When I was a child I used to pee on the carpet outside my bedroom because the bathroom was too far away. I figured it was dark enough outside the room that no-one would notice. I have no memory of ever being caught and told to stop.

submitted 75 days ago • 10 comments

I once hung my handbag on the soap dispenser in a public toilet thinking it was a hook. By the time I had finished my business, my bag was full of hand soap

submitted 79 days ago • 11 comments

Got drunk and ate my whole advent calendar.

submitted 77 days ago • 29 comments

It isn't really Christmas until you've dressed your Venus fly trap as Santa. 🎥: youtube.com/@klunatik

submitted 76 days ago • 14 comments

Names for a lazy person from eight different languages: 8. A lazybones (English) 7. A sluggish banana (Danish) 6. A flaccid fish (Norwegian) 5. A snake king (Cantonese) 4. A free-bread-getter (Serbian) 3. A day-thief (Flemish) 2. A nothingdoer (Hungarian) 1. Director of Free Air (Lithuanian)

submitted 80 days ago • 63 comments

Update: At least one good thing came out of this storm (because I'm a massive child) The local Morrisons supermarket has lost some of its letters 😁

submitted 82 days ago • 12 comments

“The public reaction to the coldblooded killing of a CEO should serve as a wakeup call to other practitioners of corporate greed: While your wealth and status may garner respect in life, the same guarantee cannot be made in death.” My latest:

submitted 85 days ago • 84 comments

This is truly the best legal advice we can give.

submitted 84 days ago • 506 comments

Ooh, another block list to check out. bsky.app/profile/did:...

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

Hey so NC5 got the field sobriety test from TN Senate GOP caucus chair Senator Ken Yager’s DUI after a hit-and-run crash in Georgia, and we can’t help but notice he appears to have forgotten to use the restroom before he started driving. Full: www.newschannel5.com/news/authori...

submitted 86 days ago • 677 comments

OH MY CHRIST THERE’S MORE

submitted 97 days ago • 6 comments

What Kermit (the frog) is called in ten different countries... 10. Kermit (Denmark) 9. Kermit (France) 8. Kermit (Romania) 7. Kermit (Slovakia) 6. Kermit (Italy) 5. Kermit (Canada) 4. Kermit (Iceland) 3. Kermit (the Netherlands) 2. Kermit (Poland) 1. Gustavo (Spain)

submitted 102 days ago • 180 comments

www.popehat.com/p/and-yet-it...

submitted 114 days ago • 189 comments

If you're worried about doxxing and being targeted by the fash (something I think a lot of people should consider in these times), I highly recommend DeleteMe. It's a service I got after someone set my car on fire. I am a person who gets threats, so minimizing paths to my info is important to me.

submitted 115 days ago • 103 comments

I know we're all hyper attuned to this stuff on here, but this is a great thing to share with others.

submitted 115 days ago • 3 comments

Do not get complacent. VOTE LIKE WE'RE 10 POINTS DOWN. Make a plan, stay in line, knock on doors, phone bank, call family and friends, drive others to the polls. ALL GAS, NO BRAKES. Remember in the scary movie where the monster, thought defeated, suddenly jumps up? We do NOT want that shit.

submitted 116 days ago • 5 comments

Just seen the 2024 John Lewis Christmas ad. Starts with a busy office, phones ring, people rush about, workmen shouting, doing business, bells ring out, the workmen run off home, shoppers hurry around as a brilliant flash lights up the sky, panic continues, a shocked woman wees herself, oh hang on.

submitted 117 days ago • 3 comments

posting the julia roberts ad so everyone can refer to it here and not over there

submitted 121 days ago • 96 comments

Did you know there is a gift-link feed? If someone posted a paywalled article - chances are you find a gift link to it there bsky.app/profile/davi...

submitted 122 days ago • 0 comments

Not sure the Daily Mail were expecting this. Let’s keep it going… mol.im/a/14002281

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

I bring you the cutest photo from the Kamala Harris all-star rally last night in Atlanta (via the campaign)

submitted 126 days ago • 11 comments

My boss was sharing his screen on a Teams call. When he went to enter the address for a website, his search history came up. There was a lot of odd things listed, with the strangest being "sexy salad fingers costume". Got a screenshot in case I ever have to use it

submitted 132 days ago • 10 comments

I also became a journalist because I think my work has no impact and matters to no one.

submitted 135 days ago • 57 comments

great, now I am hungry

submitted 140 days ago • 3 comments