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newmessage.bsky.social
The truth is, I'm here to entertain ME, not you. If you feel anything is 'too sacred to ridicule' you are an extremist. https://youtube.com/@NewMessage
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Even Mother Nature is done with Felon47’s bullshit.

NO KINGS Be safe, be smart, and give ‘em hell.

Hey internet - dox them all. Especially the front dude, who is high as a fucking kite.

Mad magazine 1968

SPACEBALLS: The Sequel!

Heads-up, Lovecraftian cultists: A new Nyarlathotep just dropped. "It appears that we’ve entered the Elder God’s Endgame."

Protestors stop looters and save businesses in Los Angeles. US Media won’t show you this. “We don’t do that shit” #3E #stopICE

🚨 SOUTH PHILLY: ICE was spotted on 7th & Snyder at 9am this morning; their two unmarked Dodge SUVs (one gray, one black) are heading South on Broad as of 10am. Community members have eyes on them—alert your neighbors! KKF 7661 gray Dodge SUV LTM 932 black Dodge SUV

Pictured: me realizing I might need to leave my friend's wedding to go throw the wedding rings into Mount Doom

"My name is Greta Thunberg and I am from Sweden. If you see this video, we have been intercepted and kidnapped in international waters by the Israeli occupational forces, or forces that support Israel."

PHILLY:

close enough, lads, close enough

Breaking: Men officially deemed too emotional for positions of power

INBOX: SATURDAY… LEBANON, TN… a protest is scheduled with Gaetz coming to town…

Perhaps a rash of deepfakes starring members of congress in flagrante delicto with various tech bros would spur some self regulation.

Adding the word ‘fucking’ to your Google search query disables the unwanted AI summary at the top of the results page.

Sagittarius: You will speak aloud a profound truth with the power to unlock total understanding of the nature of reality, and you're gonna do it in Dumb Guy voice to make fun of someone for being stupid. That's how far you are from enlightenment. You looped back around.

Here's NASA astrophysics, if I read the president's proposed budget correctly. 🔭

He's still got his house.

unions: they get the job done

I think I found my next Valentine's Day card.

Teacher Asks What First Graders Want To Be Once Child Labor Laws Repealed theonion.com/teacher...

📚 ¿y tù? 📖

So you’re telling us the radical transparency people are against… transparency? www.politico.com/news/2025/05...

WATCH: “I WISH I HAD A PLANE TO GIVE YOU.” 👀 ✈️ Trump just pushed the ‘white genocide’ lie with South Africa’s President in another embarrassing Oval Office ambush to justify only taking white *refugees* (Even the ‘Amerikaner’ site admitted it’s not: www.instagram.com/reel/DJm-qTj...)

New Cabinet-Level Departments We'd Like To See Writer • Dan Birtcher Artist • George Woodbridge Issue • No. 309 Year • 1992 ◆Full Dept. In Comments◆ #madmagazine

🚨 The president wants to open up areas that are home to endangered species, our oceans, and our NATIONAL PARKS, to mining, drilling, and logging. TODAY is the LAST DAY to voice your dissent. More info below including the link to where you can write your comments.

I have no words.

Congrats to all Republicans and 16 Democrats for passing the Bribing The President Is Legal Now Act. A cool side effect of this bill is it makes it considerably easier for your kid to buy fentanyl-laced narcotics from a new class of predators on Minecraft, also likely created by this bill.

By the way, Stage 9 cancer is just Stage 4 with a 145% tariff.

Good night and good luck to CBS news.

Cow tools, meet toad tools.