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nick-pettigrew.bsky.social
That bloke from off of Twitter. Writes books. Likes cats. That sort of thing. You can give Ko-Fi donations too, if you fancy it: https://ko-fi.com/nickpettigrew
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Top Tip: If you’re a feared crime boss who employs an army of goons, it’s a false economy not to buy them a gun. It’s a couple of hundred each, you cheapskate. Arming them with nothing but a knife that will end up being used against them is just asking for trouble.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

Me criticising my cat: You’re a furry buffoon, a whiskered oaf, a graceless idiot, a disgrace. When somebody else criticises my cat: Your family will be ashamed to bury what I leave behind of you.

submitted 8 hours ago • 1 comment

Post a banger that’s not in English: youtu.be/r42A67TqBu0?...

submitted 10 hours ago • 2 comments

Thanos putting in a big bid. www.bbc.com/news/article...

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

“If you keep driving prostitution further underground you may end up with Balrog sex workers. Is that what you want?”

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

Kelleher is a cracking goalkeeper and seems a good lad - never once complained about being backup. Brentford have got themselves a great player. He’s too good to sit on the bench all season so can’t blame him for wanting to leave.

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

I think I might become a Dr Who fan because I don’t especially enjoy watching Dr Who.

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

If we ever get to the other side of history where this stuff gets litigated, I hope we don’t forget to pursue the rank & file ICE officers who put on ski masks & dragged innocent people out of their homes because they were following orders. You can’t have a goon squad without goons.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Ernest Borgnine was one of the few actors whose surname sounded like his face looked.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

There’s no greater feeling of dread than sitting in a nice bar where a corner of the seating is empty and seeing a bloke in flip-flops sit there with an acoustic guitar and start tuning up. Like looking at your bowl of soup & seeing half a cockroach bob up to the surface.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

On the one hand, you want the team who beat you to go on and win the competition. On the other hand, murderous bigoted regimes shouldn’t be able to sportswash their way to respectability. The other hand is more important.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I know this isn't the point. But Liverpool has great museums and galleries, superb nightlife for all tastes, two awesome cathedrals, an attractive docklands, rich musical and footballing heritage, and a boycott of the Sun. If you believe it's a shithole, you're both intellectually lazy and wrong.

submitted 1 day ago • 72 comments

Fuck ‘em.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Florida Woman Shocked To Receive Pardon For Massive Insurance Fraud She Hasn’t Committed Yet

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I thought he wanted to reduce workforce waste? Why employ a child to punch him in the face when there’s already several billion people willing to do that for free?

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Again, I cannot express how little I expected someone would usurp my position as "guy who takes ketamine in the company of a president".

submitted 2 days ago • 38 comments

I just think if I had 400 billion dollars I’d think of something better to do than Nazi shitposting, pretending to be good at video games & ketamine-induced incontinence. They wouldn’t be in my top 4.7 million things to do, like.

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

A 53-year-old man losing his job, much of which he spent arguing about whether he was good at video games, in front of the world's television cameras, with a black eye, a string of failed marriages, and a very public ketamine habit. This guy used to be cited in quotation dictionaries.

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

The fundamental flaw of fascists is that they think empathy is binary and finite.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Today has been spent chopping up a 20ft-high star fruit tree that fell into a neighbour’s property and dragging the branches away using nothing but a machete. I would like it if life could stop being one thing after another, just for a moment.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

In a weird way, Musk could inspire a return to old-time religion because he makes you wish for the existence of a traditional conception of a punitive version of hell.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

So we can expect to have a person’s former job named when they’re accused of an atrocity now? Even when they’re not ex-military? “Ex-shelf stacker firebombs orphanage”, etc. And if, as we’re led to believe, military training teaches calmness under pressure, ‘ex-marine’ makes it worse, not better.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

It has rained a bit overnight:

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

“Did you get those photos of Brad Pitt for the F1 article?” “Sure did, boss. Dressed as a pirate stripper, just like you asked” “What?”

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

🎶I am a white genocider drinker🎶

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Watching some stupid action film (American Assassin) and it’s really off-putting that what’s meant to be a bazaar in Istanbul is very clearly St George’s Walk in Croydon.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

Howler monkeys in the trees in our back garden, today:

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

@blindboyboatclub.bsky.social Thought you might find this interesting. There’s an ancient stone-lifting tradition in the town of BriBri near where I live, not in Ireland or Scotland but Costa Rica: delfino.cr/2024/09/pueb...

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Going to go into town and shout “HEY! Watch where you’re going!” whenever somebody brushes past me.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Racists: “There’s no such thing as white privilege”. Meanwhile:

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

Adam Sandler will do 19 films where he’s an unemployed Zamboni driver who teaches an orphan how to fart Lynyrd Skynyrd songs then he’ll do ‘Spaceman’, a slow, meditative film about loneliness with a great score that looks gorgeous. If you like Moon/Interstellar/Silent Running, try it.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

INT: WAREHOUSE - NIGHT (Throws desk across entrance door, loads up shotgun, collects grenades, glances anxiously at partner) Him (looks out of window, ducks down to avoid gunfire): We got company! (Drops pistol and hunting knife and starts assembling a charcuterie board.)

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Congratulations to Chelsea for winning whatever it is they just won.

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

“We hold all the cards” says Trump, before laying them face-up on the table and turning them around so everyone can read them really clearly.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment