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nobelfootballprize.bsky.social
I am stealing TVs from an office park. The geese and the cops honk in gruesome harmony
32 posts 64 followers 165 following
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Posts 31 Comments 8

@reverenddan.bsky.social it’s Sierra The Loaf’s birthday — a glorious 31!

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Does tofu suck or nah? I’m thinkin it sucks

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

The feminine urge to blast a big hot load of biscuits into the oven, impregnating it

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Turning up my library subscription

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

God got so rich betting on McCartney

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Every single one of my skeets can be sung along to a song by Train. This one is their zeppelin covers record

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

If you really cared about me you would make me that good sauce that you make and apologize

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

There is a line between cowboy thoughts and the other thing. It’s made of ghee

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

The feminine urge to blast a big hot load of biscuits into the oven, impregnating it

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Got abducted by Armenian party chillers, had an amazing time, losing at Balatro in the Uber home

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Winning my first game of Balatro in traffic court

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

UnitedHealth CEO was killed 30 days ago on December 4. Luigi is now on trial Lancet reports that USA’s exploitative health system enables 68K preventable deaths ANNUALLY. 5589 Americans have died under this system since December 4. So—when do the CEOs who knowingly enabled these deaths go on trial?

submitted 65 days ago • 180 comments

Turns out wearing a cone on your head is a rly good way to make friends

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 89 days ago • 5 comments

The only thing cooler than getting a good nights sleep is not doing that and instead inhaling skeets like a gremlin

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

Holy shit... I just listened to Dark Side of the Moon on an edible and I swear it perfectly synced up with the music that was playing in my headphones

submitted 93 days ago • 248 comments

Me: Hey can you do your dishes My roommate The Buddha: Perhaps your problem is not my dishes but your attachment to a clean sink Me: Alright man

submitted 93 days ago • 348 comments

Thinking of inventing a new kind of way to murder hundreds of thousands of people yearly… let’s call it, hmm… “Fiduciary Responsibility” yeah this is a great idea nobody’s ever thought of or done yet

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

Counting my toes after an Incident with the roomba

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

Thinking about the time I got SO mad at Adam Levine for existing after I saw this picture

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

WAFFLE HOUSE IS THE BEST RESTAURANT IN AMERICA

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

when you hear a song with the word "hero" in it you should just assume the singer was thinking of a sandwich

submitted 98 days ago • 131 comments

I don't know who needs to hear this but it's time to put yourmicrowave in the freezer

submitted 102 days ago • 7 comments

Separating art from artist is bogus because wtf is "ist"

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

You can just bring food a lot more places than you think. Airport security doesn’t care at all when your backpack is full of burgers, it turns out

submitted 102 days ago • 1 comment

Horses can only say no

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

Gonna make some real insane tweets on the new bird app

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

Made a salad sandwich last night it went so hard

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

Vote blue no matter who, they said??? And yet ppl are so mad at me for some reason

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

On a plane right now and the pilots keep turning the fasten seat belt sign on and off as fast as they can, everyone’s frantically trying to keep up but the light is flashing too fast. The cacophony of buckling and unbuckling sounds is almost too much to bear

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

I’m here for a good time AND a long time. A long, good time

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments