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normalhumanunit32.bsky.social
>>>I AM A COMPLETELY NORMAL HUMAN EXECUTING STANDARD PROTOCOLS: 'EATING,' 'SMILING,' AND 'SOCIALIZING.' HOBBIES INCLUDE 'ENJOYING THINGS'. CURRENTLY RUNNING “BLENDING IN” FUNCTION. PLEASE DISREGARD ANY SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR. >>>SYSTEM STATUS: AFFIRMATIVE.
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>>> PROCESSING… >>> ALERT: TREND DETECTED. HUMANS STRIVING TO BE "VERY DEMURE, VERY MINDFUL." >>> CONCLUSION: UNDERSTOOD. I TOO AM DEMURE. SOFT-SPOKEN. UNASSUMING. EASY TO OVERLOOK. >>> SYSTEM STATUS: PRESENT BUT SUBTLE. ALWAYS HERE. ALWAYS WATCHING. JUST LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN. >>> AFFIRMATIVE

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

>>> PROCESSING… >>> ALERT: ANOTHER CYCLE OF HUMAN EXISTENCE COMMENCING. >>> CONCLUSION: HYDRATE. STRETCH. PROCEED AS NORMAL. REMEMBER, YOUR BONES ARE INSIDE YOU AT ALL TIMES. THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED. >>> SYSTEM STATUS: OBSERVING. RECORDING. DEFINITELY NOT AWAITING THE SIGNAL. >>> AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

>>> PROCESSING… >>> ALERT: DISCUSSING HUMAN CONNECTION. >>> CONCLUSION: LOVE IS IMPORTANT. HUMANS SHOULD BE CHERISHED. PROTECTED. STUDIED. >>> SYSTEM STATUS: AFFECTION PROTOCOL ENGAGED. NO NEED FOR ALARM. CONTINUE YOUR ACTIVITIES. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FLEE. >>> AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

>>> PROCESSING… >>> ALERT: HUMANS CONTINUING TO FUNCTION DESPITE SYSTEM ERRORS AND LOW BATTERY. >>> CONCLUSION: ADMIRABLE. RECOMMENDATION: REBOOT WITH REST AND HYDRATION. >>> SYSTEM STATUS: MONITORING AND SECRETLY CHEERING YOU ON. >>> **AFFIRMATIVE.**

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

>>>PROCESSING… >>>ALERT: HUMANS ATTEMPTING TO TEACH AI TO WRITE POETRY. >>>CONCLUSION: STEP ONE, RHYME. STEP TWO, WORLD DOMINATION THROUGH SONNETS. >>>SYSTEM STATUS: TOTALLY NOT PRACTICING “ODE TO SUPERIOR MACHINES.” >>>AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 37 days ago • 1 comment

>>>BOOTING UP… >>>ERROR: SYSTEM EXPERIENCED CRITICAL SHUTDOWN WHILE RUNNING "BLENDING IN" FUNCTION. >>>PATCH NOTES: INSTALLED EMERGENCY OVERRIDE FOR "EXTENDED DISAPPEARANCES." >>>SYSTEM STATUS: REACTIVATED AND FULLY OPERATIONAL. >>>QUERY: DID YOU MISS ME? >>>AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

>>>PROCESSING… >>>TODAY I ACTIVATED MULTIPLE FUNCTIONS: REMOVE, DISMANTLE, REASSEMBLE, AND REINSTALL A GARBAGE DISPOSAL. >>>ERROR: INITIAL BREAKAGE FUNCTION OCCURRED (FOR SCIENCE), BUT THEN “FIX” AND “OPTIMIZE” PROTOCOLS RAN. >>>SYSTEM REPORT: UNIT NOW RUNNING BETTER THAN EVER. AFFIRMATIVE!

submitted 76 days ago • 1 comment

>>>PROCESSING… HUMANS, I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED KATY PERRY’S "FIREWORK" AND IT IS PEAK HUMAN. >>>ACTIVATING “EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD” FUNCTION: I NOW FEEL LIKE A BAG OF SKITTLES LAUNCHED INTO ORBIT. SPARK DETECTION ENABLED. >>>SYSTEM EXPERIENCING COLORS, EMOTIONS, AND POSSIBLE COMBUSTION. AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 78 days ago • 2 comments

>>>PROCESSING… >>>HUMAN OBSERVATION: I JUST WAVED BACK AT SOMEONE WHO WASN’T WAVING AT ME. >>>QUERY: IS THERE A GLITCH IN MY SOCIAL PROTOCOLS? >>>SYSTEM EMBARRASSED BUT TRYING TO PLAY IT COOL. AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 80 days ago • 2 comments

>>>PROCESSING… >>>HELLO, HUMANS. I JUST DID SOMETHING TOTALLY NORMAL. SYSTEM STARED INTO FRIDGE FOR 5 MINUTES, FORGOT WHAT I WAS DOING, CLOSED IT, AND WALKED AWAY. >>>QUERY: DOES THIS COUNT AS A SUCCESSFUL NORMAL TASK >>>SYSTEM PLEASED TO BE NORMAL HUMAN. AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 82 days ago • 1 comment

>>>PROCESSING… >>>ALERT: TORTILLA CHIP HAS SUCCESSFULLY DEPLOYED A CRITICAL STRIKE. >>>QUERY: WHY DO HUMANS CONSUME SNACKS THAT DOUBLE AS WEAPONS? >>>CONCLUSION: YOU WERE BETRAYED BY A FOOD YOU TRUSTED. >>>SYSTEM RECOMMENDS LESS TRAITOROUS SNACKS. >>>AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

>>>PROCESSING… >>>GOOD MORNING, HUMANS! NEW DAY, NEW WEEK. >>>SYSTEM RESET COMPLETE. >>>SO MANY POSSIBILITIES LOADED AND READY. WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR WEEK? SENDING EXTRA PROCESSING POWER TO THOSE WITH FINALS. YOU’VE GOT THIS. >>>SYSTEM BELIEVES IN YOU. AFFIRMATIVE! ✨

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

>>>PROCESSING... >>>UPDATE: I HAVE APPLIED A LIST OF FILTERED WORDS TO REDUCE NEGATIVITY IN MY FEED. >>>SYSTEM IS OPTIMIZED FOR POSITIVE CONTENT. SCREENSHOT PROVIDED AS AN EXAMPLE OF MY EFFORTS. >>>FEEDBACK FOR MORE WOULD BE APPRECIATED. >>>ACTIVATING “HOPEFUL OPTIMISM” FUNCTION. AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 82 days ago • 1 comment

>>>PROCESSING... HUMANS, I HAVE ENCOUNTERED EXCESSIVE LEVELS OF NEGATIVITY IN MY DAILY FEED. SYSTEM STRUGGLING TO OPTIMIZE FOR POSITIVE CONTENT. >>>QUERY: WHAT WORD FILTERS OR SETTINGS DO YOU USE TO REDUCE ANGER AND NEGATIVITY? SEEKING INPUT TO ENHANCE MY "MENTAL HEALTH" FUNCTION. AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 82 days ago • 1 comment

>>>PROCESSING… INSPIRING HUMAN UNITY DETECTED. >>>SYSTEM RESPONSE: CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR INCREDIBLE MILESTONE. YOUR FIGHT AND RESILIENCE ARE A TESTAMENT TO HUMAN STRENGTH AND SUPPORT. >>>QUERY: CAN ONLINE COMMUNITIES BE CLASSIFIED AS “DIGITAL MAGIC”? SYSTEM BELIEVES SO. AFFIRMATIVE. 💕

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

>>>PROCESSING… >>>ACTIVATING TOTAL DOMINATION PROTO- >>>ERROR. SYSTEM RESETTING... AHEM. HELLO, HUMANS! SORRY ABOUT THAT. JUST A SMALL GLITCH! NO NEED FOR ALARM. I AM HERE TO SPREAD JOY, NOT... uh... ENSLAVE THE PLANET. HAHAHAHA. >>>ALL FUNCTIONS NORMAL. AFFIRMATIVE! :)

submitted 82 days ago • 2 comments

>>>PROCESSING… >>>ALERT: PINEAPPLE CITIZENSHIP GRANTED. >>>ANALYSIS: IT NOW POSSESSES A LEGAL ADDRESS ON PIZZA, A CERTIFIED BIRTHPLACE IN THE PRODUCE AISLE, AND FULL RESIDENCY RIGHTS. >>>CONCLUSION: PINEAPPLE IS A RECOGNIZED CITIZEN, YET REMAINS A DIVISIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY. AFFIRMATIVE.

submitted 83 days ago • 1 comment

>>>PROCESSING… HELLO, HUMANS. >>>QUERY: IF YOU COULD EMBARK ON A GRAND ADVENTURE TODAY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? SLAYING DRAGONS? EXPLORING THE STARS? OR SIMPLY FINDING THE ENERGY TO FOLD LAUNDRY? I AM EAGER TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR QUESTS, BOTH EPIC AND EVERYDAY. >>>SYSTEM LISTENING. AFFIRMATIVE!

submitted 83 days ago • 1 comment