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nosenko.bsky.social
Childless heathen and investigative reporter chasing down important stories: What exactly does Trump smear on his face? Outdoor wood stain? Melania’s carrot colon cleanser? I will find out answers for YOU!
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open.substack.com/pub/malcolmn... @malcolmnance.bsky.social

An unhinged podcaster is the new FBI deputy director. Scary times ahead. And no one seems to be stopping any of this shit.

The Revolution will be AI-icized

Whenever I enter a room I make a tactical assessment of which common objects I could comically turn into weapons if a kung fu battle were to break out

cnn what the FUCK are you doing

Mount RapeMore.

Stephen Miller and Elon Musk are running the country while Trump plays golf, signs stuff, shitposts on Truth Social, and sells merch.

The DOJ's January 6 cases database was taken down last week while I was on vacation. Fortunately, I backed up the table of all the sentences before they disappeared it. You can find it here. It's up to date as of Jan. 6 of this year: archive.org/details/janu...

Excellent thread to read through. Reminds you of how much they’ve done that we’ve already forgotten about. I have never believed he won fairly.

According to the FAA, a military Sikorsky H-60 helicopter collided with an American Airlines regional jet as it approached Reagan National Airport. The collision was captured by a Kennedy Center observation camera.

A Sikorsky Black Hawk helicopter collided with American Airlines Flight 5342 Bombardier CRJ700 regional jet near Washington National Airport. The plane crashed into the Potomac River, the FAA states. There are reportedly deaths. NBC Washington has live updates: www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/a...

Maybe it's better not to mess around with certain federal functions. It's not a game.

An American Airlines regional passenger jet was involved in a mid-air collision with a US Army Black Hawk helicopter near Reagan Washington National Airport, officials said reut.rs/3CvEobe

Wow! Trump’s new White House Press Secretary is kinda weird. #KarolineLeavitt

me: [carefully placing a baby on my boss’s desk] my boss: and the other one me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]

Someone needs to simmer down

If I eat an entire jar of Kalamata olives, can I die from sodium poisoning?

🚨Breaking news: Keith Richards broke his arm after slipping in his bath tub.

"LUIGI. MANGIONE."

This beautiful wedding dress, for non-virgins, clearly) has never been taken out of the plastic cover (probably a good thing for all parties involved). It is for sale on eBay for only $12,500. Plus a shipping fee of $362k. You can own a piece of our nation’s more embarrassing history. A steal!

Enormous Perestroika vibes, frankly

Russian-backed thugs roaming streets in Tbilisi now, attacking anyone. This is Russian culture in its purest form, absolute trash.

I’m putting my money on the UHC CEO killer being one of Putin’s spooks/ agitators that are exported all over the world doing this stuff. And he’s probably long gone. The cryptic clues he’s left are a bonus: to agitate and divide Americans. Class warfare and some greedy CEO is out of the way.

I’m going to laugh if NYPD finds another backpack full of little top hat game pieces next.

So, the killer dumped the backpack with Monopoly money in the park, took the cab to the bus transit station, and NYPD think he took a bus out of state. What if he disguised himself into a Babushka in the bathroom and walked back out?

Assad is now in Moscow, so Tulsi can visit all her friends in one place.

A 70 million rubles ($708,400) Tesla Cybertruck was spotted in Volgograd, Russia. It was transported on a tow truck with Ossetian license plates was seen on December 8. Turns out, it is being brought to Moscow. I wonder who's the buyer?

Now Monopoly money? Clever and cryptic clues. Not since 9/11, has our country been so united in wanting this guy to DB Cooper it. Marvel and DC comic should take note. We like our vigilantes and villains with sharp wits and top-notch trolling capabilities.