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notonionsno.bsky.social
I write plays and eat garbage food.
55 posts 58 followers 58 following
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Posts 16 Comments 34

Do we think it’s too soon for me to throw away my movie pass card?

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

Thinking of setting my office on fire just to make it slightly warmer outside. The fact that I would get out of work is just a fringe benefit.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

2024 ended with me grinding and fellating a giant rubber chicken on the floor of Planet of the Tapes while I monologued about the nonsense of Descartes’ Ontological Argument for Gods Existence. I don’t know if I have a defining moment as a professional silly person but that might have been it.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

2025 and possibly 2026 might be the years in which I write nothing but sequels, and all of them with co-writers. So be on the lookout for that I guess. You know, if you’re one of the people who look out for plays I write.

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

Watching some YouTube video about the Radium Girls. It gets interrupted by an ad for some kind of skin cream and the very first thing the ad says is, “Ooh! Look at her skin! She’s glowing!” Did…did they know what I was watching?

submitted 74 days ago • 1 comment

Anyone in the market for a doppelgänger? I know a guy who can make you a doppelgänger. Well, actually, now it’s like nine guys who could make you a doppelgänger.

submitted 87 days ago • 1 comment

I’m wearing a reindeer onesie under a leather BDSM harness that crosses my chest, being lead around on a leash by a snowman-themed drag queen, in a large theater. Welcome to tech week.

submitted 90 days ago • 2 comments

Dumb Bullshit My Spouse Did That Made Me Laugh Me: You remember when we made smash burgers last night? Spouse: Smash Me: Well we had a very low burger-to-bun ratio. Spouse: Smash Me: So do you want to double up on- Spouse: Smash Me: …do you want to double up on patties or do you- Spouse: Smash

submitted 91 days ago • 1 comment

I just spent $100 on underwear. One. Hundred. Dollars. These had better last long enough to stay intact on my corpse after I’m murdered in a dark alley. And they’d better be flattering enough that when they start to autopsy me the coroner thinks, “damn that corpse has a sexy ass.”

submitted 95 days ago • 2 comments

Help! My office gave us a pizza party and now I suddenly think that we don’t need to unionize!

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Don’t blame me. @mikeflanaganfilm.com made me do it. (And thank you, sir)

submitted 97 days ago • 1 comment

FilmSky #Movies 🎬🎥 Choose 20 films that have stayed with you or influenced you. One film per day for 20 days, in no particular order, gifs only. Day 1

submitted 98 days ago • 98 comments

Finding discarded syringes on a church property is fun because you get to play a detective game called, “Diabaddict”. The goal of Diabaddict is to figure out if the syringe was dropped by an addict or a diabetic. It’s loads of fun and absolutely no one wins!

submitted 98 days ago • 1 comment

So there’s Alien, which is more or less considered a perfect movie. And then there’s Aliens, which is more or less considered a perfect movie. And then there’s the sliding scale of inconsistency that is all the Alien sequels, prequels, and reboots. Of those, Alien Romulus is EASILY the best one.

submitted 100 days ago • 1 comment

Me: I want to create a story with radically queer characters and themes. Them: Actually just the presence of queer characters is in itself a radical act. Me: Oh, I didn’t make myself clear. I want a story featuring trannies with guns.

submitted 101 days ago • 1 comment

You click on ONE Facebook ad about underwear and suddenly half your feed is just 🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️GAY ASS UNDIES🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈 Don’t get me wrong, it’s hot. But I look at Facebook while I’m at work. And I don’t need Cindy’s judgy ass walking past me while I’m seeing the worlds most voluptuous and least gendered booty.

submitted 104 days ago • 1 comment