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Kiddo: Dad? What's the electoral college? Me: You and your brother say I look better with a big gray beard and long hair, right? Kiddo: Yeah! Me: And Mom thinks I look better with short hair and no beard. Kiddo: Right. Me: What do I have? Kiddo: Short hair and no beard... Me: There ya go.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Can you seriously be sued over an online review? Even if the Mesopotamian copper was CLEARLY substandard?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I always say I don't do private coaching. But then a friend's kid offers to buy me a bottle of 100 proof bourbon for a 2-hr convo at my favorite bar, and... youtu.be/rPOlakkBlj8?...

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Glad to FINALLY be referred to as "the legend himself." It's almost like I wrote it into the contract...

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

Starting to suspect that our game looks fun and cool

submitted 16 days ago • 13 comments

Saw Kiddo talking excitedly to his barber. After we left, I asked what they were talking about. He said he asked him about space and life on other planets and alternate dimensions. I asked why he thought his barber would know about all that stuff. He said, "Dad! He has a degree in cosmetology!"

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

Watching Mythic Quest while working in game dev is like watching Call The Midwife while pregnant. I will not explain further.

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

Joel-coded characters

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Let's have a signal for if we wanna leave this party early. Wifey: Good idea. If I'm ready to go, I'll squeeze your ass. Me: That works. Wifey: And if you're ready to go, you'll squeeze my ass? ... Me: I need a different signal.

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

We have a fridge in the garage that I just found out the boys call "Dad Fridge." I asked them why. They say it's because it smells funny and it's full of beer.

submitted 37 days ago • 2 comments

Endlessly grateful that Wifey's only flaw is her atrocious taste in men.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Mike McFarland isn't the kind of guy who'd give you the shirt off his back. He'd give you his whole wardrobe. If you can help, even a little... please do. gofund.me/1f4b5b4c

submitted 47 days ago • 1 comment

Kiddo: [practicing for his piano recital] Dad? You know how the song says, "Every heart beats true 'neath the red, white, and blue, where there's never a boast or brag"? Do Americans just not brag about stuff? ... Me: Well, it's a very old song...

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

J'ai etudie le francais depuis une anee. Porquois suis-je toujours vraiment stupide? Desolee.

submitted 56 days ago • 2 comments

To whoever sent me an anonymous gift - someone who apparently thinks I need a Dad Joke of the Day calendar... I will find you. Annual regret it.

submitted 56 days ago • 2 comments

Please forgive me if I screw up your pronouns, I'm still trying to remember what I named my kids.

submitted 58 days ago • 1 comment

Seen a lot of y'all posting resolutions to book cool new roles and get awesome new gigs in the new year, and because I love you and want you to succeed, I personally resolve not to take any.

submitted 60 days ago • 2 comments

Being an ally isn't a competition but I did accidentally date a dude for 3 weeks in college so I'm probably better at it than you.

submitted 63 days ago • 2 comments

You might think that if you hear a 30-something white dude say "no cap" in a Chili's, you are legally allowed to slap them. In reality, being in a Chili's yourself waives all of your rights.

submitted 64 days ago • 1 comment

Recipe for a 3 hour and 45 minute Christmas nap: (1) eggnog with a splash of brandy (1) brandy with a splash of eggnog (1) brandy Put on the director's cut of Lord of the Rings.

submitted 65 days ago • 1 comment

Today's my birthday. And I think it'd be pretty cool if we celebrated by getting our VO sibling a little closer to his goal. Give, share, and do something cool this season. Let's show the world who we are.

submitted 67 days ago • 9 comments

submitted 68 days ago • 2 comments

Settle a bet

submitted 71 days ago • 13 comments

Had a chaotic morning of grocery shopping and wrapping presents before work. I just found a spaceman alarm clock in the medicine cabinet. So I'm pretty sure one of the kids is getting a neatly wrapped bottle of Zyrtec for Christmas.

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments

Money's tight so Wifey made me swear I'd only get her one gift for Christmas. But she doesn't know I started early so now I've gotta figure out how to turducken all this stuff into one box...

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

Somebody asked me once, "Is there a role you regret?" I said I should never have played Kilik in Soul Eater. A Black kid who deserved a Black actor, which the industry had precious little of then. Then the shadow of Bill Butts loomed over me. "ON BLACK HISTORY MONTH?!" he boomed. It was July.

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

The fact that I don't have an Oreo sponsorship is proof that no one pays attention to literally anything you do. Go nuts.

submitted 75 days ago • 3 comments

Nazeeh is the best of us. And we all know an actor's favorite thing to tell one of our siblings: No artist suffers alone. Help if you can.

submitted 77 days ago • 1 comment

Found a smattering of gray hairs this morning, which I will be aptly calling "the Borderlands 4."

submitted 78 days ago • 1 comment

New game, who dis

submitted 78 days ago • 3 comments