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olmofojones.bsky.social
Gardener/grower, do-gooder, dog lover, bullshitter. Coffee. Pinball! WA State SPO/SEA
803 posts 415 followers 388 following
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Posts 22 Comments 28

Man said "Hmm, now, where can I hide this bitch.." 😆😆 Well played, motherfucker

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

Low key love that Dawn dish soap uses a duckling in their marketing because, as an animal-loving 80s baby, I was straight up traumatized by all them oil-covered birds after the Exxon-Valdez spill. I'm 43 and those images are with me clear as day. It was when I first realized humans are a plague

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

FIRST POPPYYYY

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

If you're a journalist and Donold says 'you're not being very nice,' congrats, you're doing your job!

submitted 3 days ago • 286 comments

"The good die young", you say?? 🤔🤔🤔 Well, that settles it. 116 is "young"; y'all can't call me "Auntie" until I'm 86 www.dw.com/en/worlds-ol...

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

BREAKING: A woman found drifting the Caribbean Ocean in a life raft full of alcohol, snacks, and a satellite phone has revealed that there actually was no shipwreck, she just abandoned the BlueSky Meet-up Cruise ship because "Horny mf's was getting on my nerves". More at 11.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

ICE deporting whoever. They do not care about your status. They will ship your ass to a foreign land, say “oops 🤷🏾‍♂️” and that will be the end of it. 😭

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

Me looking for my pic on people's skircles I don't follow🤣🤣🤣🤣

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

Forgot I blew my hair out, so all the white folks are all confusing me with the "Yeaah, sister! 😳🤨😤" because, rounding out today's complete lack of self-awareness, I'm also wearing this shirt 🤭🤭

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Just mailed off ALL $50,000 of scholarships to each PSCS scholar’s university and now our Executive Secretary is here stuffing 8 suitcases full of pajamas, sneakers, socks, underwear, journals, and more for the formerly incarcerated women leaving the women’s prison! thurmanperryfoundation.org

submitted 9 days ago • 8 comments

Meat hearts

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

"Whyyy is it on this side??" Me, literally every morning, staring at the deadbolt on the basement door, realizing it's unlocked, and remembering the *chopping block* down there:

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Well, I was gonna stay in tonight, but since I apparently left a 1x1" cube of Romano on the counter this afternoon, my whole house smells like fermented assholes and I...I'ma just leave. HAPPY FRIDAY

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Can any of y'all recommend a good, non-greasy sunscreen for the face?

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

"So, they hunt by sound and come up out of the ground, like this. No, yeah, that's why they're called "Graboids", really tough stuff we're up against"

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Looked up why Kanye is trending. That’s my fault.

submitted 14 days ago • 52 comments

This lil precious is one of my favorite parts of spring; every year there's one more. Fritillaria meleagris snake's head fritillary, or chess flower.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

It's been many years since Ballard, Seattle's beloved Blue Dog Cafe closed, but did I tell y'all that lady was making that chai in an antique motherfuckin chamber pot?!? Just a big ol shitter on the stove? Them heaux tried to say it was an old spitoon, I said that flared rim is for CHEEKS, bb! Lmaoo

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

My dog tried to "fence fight" with...um, herself at the weed store because of the mirrored display cases 😑. Like, I swear she's a really smart dog, usually 😆

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

It's inevitable. Don't you remember some years back when at least 4 gun-toting losers started blasting at something that went bump in the night and accidentally killed their own kids, who were coming home after sneaking out?

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

I just remembered that the god-damned Google Earth car caught me outside in my bathrobe, so let that be a fuckin word to the wise, smmfh. Can't walk outside without making sure the universal surveillance machine ain't cruising by, I GUESS.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Who are the death row executioners? Disgraced doctors, suspended nurses and drunk drivers

submitted 19 days ago • 13 comments