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optimistprimus.bsky.social
Working class zero. Cosmic joke punchline. He/him. Hate has no home here! Be excellent to each other. Chop wood, carry water Comments/complaints: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagbiuaqzqpg
193 posts 763 followers 400 following
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Posts 46 Comments 2

Airport security: do you have any liquids with you Me: well my body is like 60% water, so...

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

in environmental news,

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Caligula is an easter movie

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

can't smoke weed anymore so this easter I'm smoking a communion wafer

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

BUNJAMIN SKYLINE CLEANSE 🐰💙

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

Well Europe was an awesome trip, so many cool, positive experiences and interactions. Can't wait for the next one, I'm thinking I wanna go skydiving in New Zealand sometime this summer if I have the money. Iceland and Mexico are high on my list too. Anyone wanna donate to my travel fund lol

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I don't care how tough you think you are, when Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer comes on you turn the volume up and feel your feelings, dammit!

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Amsterdam is pretty cool

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

i mean it's one five-minute task, michael. how long could it take to get started on it, ten days?

submitted 8 days ago • 66 comments

Tour guide in Scotland: "I don't really understand American politics, they have these people called lobbyists which seems to me to just be bribery? Shouldn't that be illegal?" LOL YES

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Holy shit I'm a lightweight now, I'm feeling GOOFY 🤪

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Europe has been awesome so far, really struck by how chill and friendly everyone is here.  To be fair that's compared to where I live which is NYC so the bar is kinda low lol but still.

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Jolly old England. Cheers mate.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Chilling in the Scottish highlands

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

About to go on a ghost tour in Scotland

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

the rich hate us because we are of the soul— as are all things that can't be owned

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Logging in to blue sky

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

a lot of people think baseball was invented by Johnny Baseball. wrong! he invented Softball. baseball was invented by William Cricket

submitted 18 days ago • 5 comments

Guy who has only ever watched roadrunner cartoons and the three stooges so he thinks poorly conceived ideas that lead to severe injuries are brilliant plans: "the tariffs are actually kind of a brilliant plan when you think about it"

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

the dopamine hits are nice but for some of us we just like getting out the thoughts that are eating away at our brains

submitted 18 days ago • 8 comments

submitted 19 days ago • 199 comments

A diet should reflect a person’s philosophy. I’m a humanist.

submitted 20 days ago • 2 comments

We would like to apologize for our hybrid animal exhibit. Gary the Gorillagator and Chuck the Chimpanzebra have been retired from our venue.

submitted 19 days ago • 8 comments

This April Fools Day, thank trickster gods for teaching us fools dark lessons.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Cancel culture is out of control. Just got in a huge amount of trouble at work for doing that classic joke where I hide in a broom closet and attack random passerbys with a sharpened mop handle and chemicals and I'm only wearing a crudely carved wooden mask and speaking in tongues.

submitted 20 days ago • 5 comments

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

but maybe the real april fools were the friends we made along the way

submitted 385 days ago • 0 comments

april fool’s day is christmas for gaslighting enthusiasts

submitted 20 days ago • 2 comments

My skeleton army pranked me by putting on meat suits for the day and blending in with regular people in town 🙄

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

pretending to lunge out into oncoming traffic as a little prank

submitted 20 days ago • 2 comments

hockey is great because it just becomes punching sometimes more sports should have this

submitted 22 days ago • 2 comments

We all got that one homie who just isn't the same since they completed The Ritual.

submitted 22 days ago • 3 comments

Imagine what you could do if you had the confidence of the dumbest person you know

submitted 24 days ago • 18 comments

in Australia, the ceiling is lava

submitted 27 days ago • 11 comments

as the world gets louder i fade into music and art

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

now this will be stuck in my head

submitted 31 days ago • 11 comments

starting a new business where you hire me to shake some sense into you. link in bio

submitted 34 days ago • 8 comments

for sale: baby. stupid and ugly.

submitted 30 days ago • 12 comments

"Kind of a neighborhood space where people can meet and talk and maybe listen to music or have a drink or watch a game or something"

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

One time I was really high and I was thinking about how we aren't really close with our communities anymore and suddenly had this "amazing" idea for a way to get people together and I started writing stuff down and then was like oh wait, I just invented a bar lol

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

you have 10,000+ followers, yet you don't followback the rabbi rotjschild discord spam accounts?? hmmm, makes you think

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

🚫 DMs 🚫 Follows 🚫 Reposts 🚫 Likes 🚫 Replies

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

Getting a Canadian flag face tattoo so no one asks if I'm American when I go to Europe next month

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

so i guess the real bluesky wasn't the friends we made along the way after all, interesting

submitted 30 days ago • 9 comments

Funny thing is none of these billionaire assholes are even happy. They split their time between "working" and complaining. If I had even 1% of what they have I'd just be traveling the world and paying off people's medical bills and leaving $1000 tips on $2 coffees and no one would even know my name.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Oh so when tech guys move fast and break things they're 'innovators' and 'geniuses' but when I do it I'm a 'maniac' and 'no longer allowed to have a drivers license?' Seems unfair is all I'm saying.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments