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oxmounter.bsky.social
At any given moment my boob to peanut butter cup ratio (by volume) is likely at parity.
78 posts 34 followers 78 following
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I keep reading that Bluesky is dying. It’s because I shaved my legs again, isn’t it?

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Crossword puzzle clue this morning: “I’ve got a ____ in Kalamazoo” and of course it’s “gal” because Radar sang it over the PA in an episode of MASH I saw in like 1982. Yet I can’t seem to remember to take my meds in the morning.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Bar + Strip Mall ≠ Pub

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Woke pope doo-de-yum da-dee-yada Woke pope doo-de-yum da-dee-yada Woke pope doo-de-yum da-dee-yada W-O-K-E-P-O-P-E Woke pope

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

My thoughts on the new pope:

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

My wife has named my boobs. May I introduce you to “don’t worry” and “be happy”. I am Booby McFerrin.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

The anti-transgender news over the last couple of weeks has been disheartening. Yet it has yielded some hilarious data.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Yes, we're aware of the man outside the penguin enclosure screaming "YOU WRECKED MY MARRIAGE, HAPPY FEET!" No, we don't know the backstory.

submitted 44 days ago • 9 comments

I’m wearing thermal leggings and a faux fur coat. Motherfucker, there’s daffodils blooming in the god damn yard.

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

How long have I been misspelling “teat”? And why did nobody tell me?

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

Fun fact: T-Rex had a gargantuan cock.

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression "as pretty as Mrs. Dalloway".

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Some call it “chosen family”. I prefer “amassing an army of loyal, anti-white suprematists badass weirdos one news story away from unpredictable rage”.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

May have mixed my “face” and “butthole” wash cloths. Unclear. Now we wait and see if my brain is going to let it go, or if I need to start over.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

We are Skeeters. I don’t think that was carefully thought out.

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Perhaps if your only reference wasn’t pornhub…..

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

It’s is simultaneously hot and cold outside which sums up spring in Pennsylvania.

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry about the cold. I shaved my legs this morning.

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

Can we universally talk about cilantro whenever that shit-hole goes down? Consider it thinning the hoi polloi from the truly weird.

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

Has anyone checked on Iggy Pop lately?

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

What other people do is about them. Just for today, I can decide who can take my joy from me. My serenity is mine.

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

Dad: Your mom and I never worried about you running with the bad kids. Me: Really? Why? Dad: You were the bad kid. Is there a word that encompasses “ouch” and a touch of pride?

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

If you think the $25k I’ve spent thus far on my transition is to… 1) listen to you pee in the restroom (?!?) 2) coerce a man to have sex with me You need to take a gin and tonic into the yard, look at the stars, and evaluate where your place is amongst them. It’s not where you think it is.

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

The first 30 seconds about sums it up.

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments