oxmounter.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

oxmounter.bsky.social

At any given moment my boob to peanut butter cup ratio (by volume) is likely at parity.

86 posts 36 followers 87 following

Posts 27 Comments 23

Pass. It. On. 👇 Thanks. 😎✨

submitted 1 day ago • 42 comments

Just painted my toenails. Good enough that they look good from a distance, but if scrutinized, pretty garbage. A bit like Amy Coney Barrett.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

So like inside of you are two badgers; one of them…… Wait….. There’s these two salmon…. Ok. I think I got this. Imagine this little gnome fella, right? I don’t remember how it goes. Just stop being a douche.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Step 1: go to Bluesky search Step 2: enter “JD Vance” Step 3: block that motherfucker Step 4: go about your day

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

This is insanely cruel. And it sure as shit isn’t going to affect 16 year old white girls who want boob jobs and Botox.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

The major fallacy of “big dick energy” is that it usually comes with a depressingly foreshortened physical manifestation.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Have we tried just turning “dark mode” off?

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Pic my cousin from Denmark sent me 💯

submitted 10 days ago • 3 comments

Tried shopping at Old Navy and all the women’s clothing is either cropped or completely shapeless. It’s like if you don’t want to expose your navel, you get a flour sack.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

It’s finally happened. A mediocre white man told me to “cheer up and smile” yesterday. I have crossed the Rubicon of womanhood.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I’m going to start aggressively seeking a friend with a pool this summer. Like I’ll hang out topless aggressive. I’m prepared to burn the boobies for a fucking pool.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

When you drop your brand new, 20 minutes old phone into a toilet the first thing you need to do is tell yourself “this is going to be OK”.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

I keep reading that Bluesky is dying. It’s because I shaved my legs again, isn’t it?

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Crossword puzzle clue this morning: “I’ve got a ____ in Kalamazoo” and of course it’s “gal” because Radar sang it over the PA in an episode of MASH I saw in like 1982. Yet I can’t seem to remember to take my meds in the morning.

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Bar + Strip Mall ≠ Pub

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

My thoughts on the new pope:

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

My wife has named my boobs. May I introduce you to “don’t worry” and “be happy”. I am Booby McFerrin.

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

The anti-transgender news over the last couple of weeks has been disheartening. Yet it has yielded some hilarious data.

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Yes, we're aware of the man outside the penguin enclosure screaming "YOU WRECKED MY MARRIAGE, HAPPY FEET!" No, we don't know the backstory.

submitted 70 days ago • 9 comments

I’m wearing thermal leggings and a faux fur coat. Motherfucker, there’s daffodils blooming in the god damn yard.

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

How long have I been misspelling “teat”? And why did nobody tell me?

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

Fun fact: T-Rex had a gargantuan cock.

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression "as pretty as Mrs. Dalloway".

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

Some call it “chosen family”. I prefer “amassing an army of loyal, anti-white suprematists badass weirdos one news story away from unpredictable rage”.

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

May have mixed my “face” and “butthole” wash cloths. Unclear. Now we wait and see if my brain is going to let it go, or if I need to start over.

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

Perhaps if your only reference wasn’t pornhub…..

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

It’s is simultaneously hot and cold outside which sums up spring in Pennsylvania.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments