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paulcoswhynot.bsky.social
Suffering parent and sports fan. Possibly mad. Probably has more teeth than brain cells.
45 posts 63 followers 81 following
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Posts 39 Comments 11

Billion Dollar Idea: Bedroom doors for teens that employ soft-close toilet seat technology.

submitted 8 days ago • 6 comments

My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my need to be detached from reality.

submitted 8 days ago • 8 comments

People say I’m overly anxious but frankly I think I’m just the right amount of anxious given the current environment

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

girlfriend: do that thing i like me: *loads the dishwasher correctly*

submitted 9 days ago • 8 comments

Buy her flowers for no reason.

submitted 9 days ago • 5 comments

How about we rename it the Gulf of Your Mom

submitted 15 days ago • 24 comments

For those of you desperately in need of distraction from today's headlines, here's a photo of a bunny & a chick who are friends.

submitted 15 days ago • 1527 comments

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Normalize pronouncing DOGE as DOUCHE.

submitted 19 days ago • 3189 comments

Silent treatment doesn’t work on me. I enjoy the silence way too much. If you really wanna punish me, you make me sit through an entire emotionally charged sharing your feelings session

submitted 24 days ago • 6 comments

i really thought my middle ages would include more jousting

submitted 26 days ago • 47 comments

Just here, Blueskying the stress away.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

"From whence you came" is a classic place to send a dickhead back to.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

“Oh, I get it now,” I say when I don’t get it but I want the interaction to end.

submitted 31 days ago • 14 comments

When you’ve repeatedly opened your fridge door and looked inside, but there’s still nothing good to eat in there.

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

If someone brings me a houseplant it’s as if they’re saying “Please enjoy slowly murdering this helpless little thing.”

submitted 32 days ago • 18 comments

Men don't want flowers. We want a non-stick pan that isn't secretly a yes-stick pan

submitted 35 days ago • 3 comments

CAPTCHA: are you a human ME: yes CAPTCHA: oh i am so sorry

submitted 36 days ago • 19 comments

It's my Birthday today, but having your birthday in January sucks donkey balls! Next year I'm changing it to July ☀️☀️☀️ 🎂

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

an epi-pen but filled with cream cheese for bagel related emergencies

submitted 39 days ago • 18 comments

"What happened?" "I’m stuck. It's so embarrassing." “I guess things went... a-rye?” “Please do shut up.” "You should get out of the sun." "Why?" "Otherwise, you'll be toast." "You're an asshole, Charlie." “You’re right, you deserve butter.”

submitted 40 days ago • 319 comments

god grant me the serenity to take each day one voodoo doll at a time

submitted 45 days ago • 6 comments

The Pulp Fiction dance scene except it’s to the theme song for Duck Tales

submitted 46 days ago • 9 comments

a gunbelt but each holster is designed to hold a rotisserie chicken

submitted 46 days ago • 20 comments

Part of raising kids that took me by surprise was realising how bad my childhood was

submitted 50 days ago • 4 comments

of course i’m fuckin hilarious, my childhood was a nightmare.

submitted 50 days ago • 16 comments

Being a parent means it's normal to open a window in the middle of winter and yell out, "YOU NEED TO PUT ON SHOES OR BOOTS TO PLAY IN THE SNOW!"

submitted 50 days ago • 9 comments

ME: *sigh* New year, same haters. WIFE: Again, they're not your haters, they're your children.

submitted 50 days ago • 11 comments

I've never met a problem I couldn't turn into a disaster

submitted 51 days ago • 1 comment

Return that shopping cart. We live in a society FFS

submitted 51 days ago • 17 comments

[loud knocking] “OPEN UP. IT’S THE POLICE!” Me: Prove it. “HOW?” Me: Sing “Roxanne.”

submitted 51 days ago • 36 comments

I actually agree with Starmer, not giving Elmo the oxygen of attention by refusing to respond to his comments sends him the message that he isn't actually important in the world of UK politics, and his opinions don't matter. Because they don't. He should fuck off and shut up.

submitted 52 days ago • 9 comments

if the multiverse theory is correct there’s a me that’s even worse at jokes and wow i am so sorry

submitted 53 days ago • 21 comments

Oh great, there’s another fucking week this week.

submitted 53 days ago • 4 comments

New year, new me but guess what? New me is *even worse*.

submitted 56 days ago • 8 comments

IT’S-A ME,

submitted 55 days ago • 19 comments

Pretty sure my houseplants drop their leaves as a sacrifice because they see me as their god

submitted 57 days ago • 16 comments

just had my world rocked by a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or two

submitted 57 days ago • 4 comments