pessimusprime.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

pessimusprime.bsky.social

I invented the internet See mah tweets https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7nvnng43seboe73s5khzmkfw/feed/aaaloenm2yxgs

3,050 posts 8,655 followers 386 following

Posts 39 Comments 11

I definitely didn't imagine adulting would require this many hours in supermarkets

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

[2800 AD] CYBORG: yeah it's called 'borat' or something. apparently it was a film they used to quote a lot before the Time of the Great Burning. they had a copy on the datacore but an infophage ate it. it's unrecoverable GENESPLICE: who told you about this? CYBORG: [totally normal voice] my wife

submitted 1 day ago • 62 comments

I check the little screen, I check the big screen, I check the watch screen, I check the tablet screen. I check the screen that reminds me of the good times, I check the screen that reminds me of the better times.

submitted 2 days ago • 171 comments

the golden girls in famous works of art: thread

submitted 3 days ago • 41 comments

Just think how bad the first 4 Maroons must've been

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

If you say Candyman 3 times in a mirror, John Candy turns up but he doesn't know what's going on and he's scared

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

Glenn Close But No Cigar

submitted 4 days ago • 16 comments

Watching Jason Statham in the Trainspotter. Hasn't spotted a single train yet. 3/10

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

I don't say this lightly, but Temu adverts can get the fuck

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

This is my big chance to become Pope. I hope the incident with the Jolly Ranchers doesn't count against me

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Hello sharks, I’m here today to ask for generational wealth

submitted 7 days ago • 4 comments

i’m learning a lot about the trade war

submitted 8 days ago • 443 comments

Why must I keep learning new things about kanye west

submitted 9 days ago • 25 comments

What do you want to watch, hon? There's "very boring man who turns out to be the fuckest uppest, and kills the entire Russian Mafia with a single Jolly Rancher" or "impossibly hot girl but no one's noticed because she's a librarian, wears glasses and has her hair in a bun"?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

tim curry in famous works of art: thread

submitted 10 days ago • 77 comments

Easter reminds us all how good Jesus was at Hide and Seek

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Looking forward to all the Jesus / Mr Brightside skeets

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Remember the true meaning of Easter - Jesus fucking loved eggs

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Just told a London teen off for throwing rubbish on the floor. Biggest thrill I've had since walking round Lidl the wrong way

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

There are a lot of Brits scratching their heads over why Trump is considering tariffs on crisps

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Table for 2 Maitre d: Do you reservations? Date: Looks me up and down Several

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

ME: how is everyone feeling today KEYBOARD: i’m depressed LAMP: i’m off PILLOW: i’m down RADIO: i’m beat FILE CABINET: i’m out of sorts TRASHCAN: i’m in the dumps MIRROR: i’m not myself

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

Me: A Furtado please Barista: What's a Furtado? Me: It's like a bird

submitted 16 days ago • 3 comments

Me: i'll have the eggs Cumberbatch please Server: winks it's Benedict btw Me: winks i'll have the the eggs Cumberbatch please Benedict

submitted 16 days ago • 5 comments

I remember when I was 6 my grandpa took the batteries out of my gameboy because I was “reliant on technology” Well well well, guess who’s on life support while I need to charge my phone?

submitted 16 days ago • 15 comments

There's raw umber and burnt umber. Which raises the all important question: why is umber so difficult to cook?

submitted 16 days ago • 4 comments

[invention of the skeleton] we’re gonna make it out of milk

submitted 17 days ago • 3 comments

a jesus themed cocktail called the last sipper

submitted 17 days ago • 8 comments

Selling meat for a living might not be for everyone, but selling vegetables is grocer

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

jar jar binks shouting “oh no yousa medusa” as he turns to stone

submitted 18 days ago • 8 comments

sorry i cant make it to your birthday party im busy telling a sitting senator to gargle my balls on the internet

submitted 19 days ago • 54 comments

submitted 19 days ago • 306 comments

The best part of any X-Men film is always this scene Magneto: [sternly but affectionately] Charles. Professor X: [affectionately but sternly] Eric.

submitted 19 days ago • 17 comments

Every day we get further from God But he'll never stop Like It Follows Keep. Moving

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

hey, meet my buddy greg. he's a classical liberal who supports democratic values and free expression and hangs out exclusively with racists

submitted 19 days ago • 42 comments

Sorry you didn't pay attention in school, but the stuff you're posting isn't a "hack", it's just you learning how stuff works

submitted 22 days ago • 2 comments

The most disappointing thing about being a parent of school aged children is discovering that the term is "inset" rather than "insect day"

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

AMAZING PENCIL HACK Sharpen one end and then use your hand to drag the black bit on some paper. Hey kid, now you're drawing! SWEET

submitted 22 days ago • 3 comments

AMAZING CAN OPENER HACK If you clamp the sharp end on the edge of a can, squeeze the handles together and turn the knob, hey presto you've opened the can! OH SHIT, THIS ONE'S GOT PUDDING IN IT!!!

submitted 22 days ago • 2 comments