Profile avatar
phatvsauce.bsky.social
the best borat impressionist you know (he/they)
6 posts 17 followers 89 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 47 Comments 2

hurt people hurt people.

submitted 76 days ago • 3 comments

[To the tune of 'Wouldn't It Be Nice' by The Beach Boys] 🎵Wouldn't it be nice 🎵To eat a Minion 🎵Holding up a towel to hide from god 🎵And wouldn't it be nice 🎵Though quite forbidden 🎵Savouring the yellow flesh of Bob

submitted 94 days ago • 102 comments

no one talk to me until ive had my morning bowl of chicken alfredo

submitted 94 days ago • 78 comments

do you guys think rfk jr. is anti-vax because his dad got shot

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

nom nom froot loops

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

It's possible that Jerry Jones will die before ever again feeling happiness. Which is fine.

submitted 97 days ago • 10 comments

still on the hunt for the clown that hides from gay people

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Biden Authorizes Ukraine To Use Long-Range Weapons On Him

submitted 97 days ago • 112 comments

mahomes won a super bowl straight up, then he almost won one with no o-line, then he won one on one leg, then he won one with receivers who'd never seen a football before, now he's trying to win one while throwing a horrifyingly dumb pick every game. he's trying to win football on every balatro deck

submitted 98 days ago • 33 comments

everything is romantic

submitted 98 days ago • 8 comments

you think a football counts as a vegetable? i don't

submitted 98 days ago • 46 comments

very hot tip: if you see this shit in the store buy it. it’s peak refreshment. mixes perfectly with gin if you’re into that kind of thing. i get it at aldi but imagine it’s elsewhere this isnt a sponsored post but it was made out of personal self interest, because if they stop making it i will kms

submitted 98 days ago • 881 comments

typa shit i'm on

submitted 98 days ago • 7 comments

doc loaded me up with ant tranquilizers im speeeding down the highway

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

bro just checking in you've been really quiet for a while but the horns just took your leitmotif away from the woodwinds.

submitted 99 days ago • 4 comments

man goes to doctor. says he’s depressed. says he doesn’t want to live anymore. doctor says, “big zoo just went up for sale. lots of animals. might make you feel better if you bought it.” “but doctor,” says matt damon,

submitted 99 days ago • 13 comments

i keep myself 5 seconds away from orgasm at all times in case of emergencies

submitted 99 days ago • 5 comments

THE PYRAMIDS HAVE BEEN ACTIVATED!!!!!!!

submitted 99 days ago • 130 comments

submitted 99 days ago • 198 comments

ok u can start jacking off again thank u for waiting

submitted 99 days ago • 2 comments

you dont want to kerfuffle with me bro

submitted 99 days ago • 31 comments

she jala on my peño til i popp 'er

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Hey man nice roads.. do they diverge in a yellow wood?

submitted 100 days ago • 6 comments

straight man jumped in Gay City for refusing to twerk

submitted 99 days ago • 123 comments

let's talk about how assless chaps should fit 🧵

submitted 100 days ago • 133 comments

Mike how about a little nibble for old time's sake?

submitted 100 days ago • 88 comments

mike tyson is too old. he should have stepped aside months ago and let kamala take over

submitted 100 days ago • 25 comments

Jake Paul vs. Helen Keller next big matchup

submitted 100 days ago • 8 comments

brand new diner serves coke the normal way

submitted 35554 days ago • 136 comments

Tyson calls for a timeout. He's getting down on one knee and... yep, there's the ring. Jake's floored.

submitted 100 days ago • 6 comments

I think it might be time to do a little giveaway over here 💦 We're giving away 2 x PowerWash Sim plushies! To enter ⬇️ ❤️ Like & ♻️ Share 🤝 Follow @powerwashsim.bsky.social 🗨️ Drop a comment Entry ends November 25th UK/EU/US/CAN/AUS/NZ only

submitted 100 days ago • 498 comments

jake paul has died

submitted 100 days ago • 473 comments

Heazer Weezcliff

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

dear god pls protect mike tyson tonight and guide his head close to jake paul's ear and move his spirit to bite 🙏

submitted 100 days ago • 95 comments

everything is shared..

submitted 100 days ago • 23 comments

Jake Paul this… Mike Tyson that… my french onion dip expired today. People have REAL WORLD problems

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

if you look like this DM me

submitted 100 days ago • 2 comments

RFK JR day 1 in HHS after the worms take back over:

submitted 100 days ago • 67 comments

Alex Jones has committed suicide.

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

my body is a machine that transforms words into women wanting to show me their boobs

submitted 100 days ago • 2 comments

Sorry I’m distracted Thinking about my king rn

submitted 100 days ago • 2 comments

*to the tune of Fix You by coldplay* when you get to heaven and it's chinese

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

The US needs a bird-based economy

submitted 100 days ago • 6 comments

babe can you jack off a little louder, i'm trying to sleep

submitted 100 days ago • 2 comments

nothing boils my blood more than being microwaved on high

submitted 100 days ago • 11 comments

from the exact article you think

submitted 100 days ago • 4 comments

Reskeet if you HATE America!

submitted 100 days ago • 1 comment