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possqueengames.itch.io
Vivvie || she/her || 29 || solo dev || θΔ || Patreon for devlogs and infrequent builds: https://www.patreon.com/c/possqueen PORTFOLIO AND TRICKY HOMEPAGE: https://possqueen.dev/
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im in a really bad place mentally and i have to leave for work in half an hour

im at a point where i can never call out from work because it would take a significant chunk out of my paycheck.

it just feels like nothing ever works out for me. thats why im stuck in a dead end low paying cashier job. nothing ever goes my way and i'm always stuck with the worse option. i'm so desperate at this point i just want SOMETHING to go my way for ONCE in my life

im still pissed about the place that ghosted me after reaching out to schedule an interview

ive been honing my talents for 12 years and it doesnt even matter because all i have to show for it are a fan game in limbo, one project that i'm too mentally ill to consistently work on, and one programming credit.

i need something good to happen soon. i need a break.

im sorry for having public breakdowns about this. it's been getting to me really bad because this week has been extremely rough at work and i'm still barely getting any hours.

i want to give up so bad there's just no jobs out there for me any more. it's all shit i can't do because either i don't have any degrees or it's a service job that i know i can't handle.

ive literally applied to a job where the only requirements were "graduated high school" and "knows how to use microsoft word" and still got turned down without even so much as an interview.

i dont have any hireable skills. no job will take me no matter how qualified i am. i have to be one of the least hireable people i know and genuinely the only reason i get jobs in the first place is because those employers are extremely desperate and i'm the only option.

it genuinely feels like the more i actively try to get my life together the worse things get

i wouldnt even be in this position if UBI were a thing. but no the greedy fuckers in charge of this place decided "no we can't do that because then we won't be able to exploit desperate workers any more!"

all i want is to have my needs met without having to sacrifice my mental wellbeing but apparently im asking way too much here and should lower my standards

hey you should totally join my patreon and im not at all saying this because i need to quit my job but don't have any chance of getting any backup option or safety net in place

im probably gonna take a short hiatus from game dev after the june build drops. im still not doing too great mentally no matter how hard i try to do better because my job keeps fucking me over on hours and i continue to have no luck even getting interviews.

I hope Ralsei’s character arc eventually culminates in him dropping the very first and only Fuck in UTDR history

thank you toby fox for sentence mixing your own boss

right now i feel like chapter 4 has its moments but otherwise it's just been a drag man it feels like ive spent a lot of time just fucking around trying to figure out where im supposed to be doing next

YOURE TAKING TOO LONG YOURE TAKING TOO LONG IS TAKING TOO LONG YOURE TAKING TOO TOO YOUR TOO TOO

i like to imagine spamton as like this 2 foot tall freak. theres no way that guy is taller than 24 inches

she delta my rune till my [[Hyperlink Blocked]]

i hate that me being social is largely just me sitting there on the side while people have conversations around me until either i get overstimulated from the noise or i just run out of spoons

old suselle art from 2021

i think everyone deserves to have their needs comfortably met without having to sacrifice their mental wellbeing or social life. except CEOs they deserve nothing

maybe i'm just being punished for not being born into a better financial situation. cl;early thats my fault right

what the fuck did i do to deserve this kind of life.

what i understand about the world is because i cannot handle working with customers or management and have no education or certifications or any "desirable" skills it means i don't deserve to be paid a livable wage.

im reaching a point where i genuinely cannot even think about looking for new jobs because doing so just triggers my depressive episodes. but i also have no choice but to look for a new job because i'm not getting paid enough to live off of.