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prof-hinkley.bsky.social
Wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights. Favstar: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:np2qjm35nzxvtznrfofxhwr6/feed/aaakwwknht56y
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I'll just floss tomorrow

ME, as a 13yo: when I grow up I’m gonna have popcorn and a martini for dinner ME, as a 36yo: I’m gonna have popcorn and a martini for dinner

Sorry I can't come to your party. I'm molting.

🚨 ATTENTION BLUESKY 🚨 THE JOKE UNDERSTANDERS HAVE ARRIVED. THEY ARE HERE TO IDENTIFY JOKES VS SERIOUS POSTS. PLEASE REMAIN CALM.

If you know about the very hands-on forced expulsion of U.S. Senator Alex Padilla from DHS press conference you need to watch it. Sure, a knucklehead standing on a burning car is a scary image. This is MUCH scarier. www.youtube.com/watch?v=R42v...

I was just asked a question that I don't have the answer to, so I thought I'd see if any of you know: what's my problem?

repeating my typo to myself like i'm chanting a rosary in a film while the killer is putting an axe thru my door

My husband was annoyed after spending $65 on two burgers and fries, so I said, “Bet yours could blow these away.” His eyes lit up. “Really? I’ll make some tomorrow!” Two days later, I did the same with pasta. And that’s how I Jedi mind-tricked my husband into becoming our chef.

My script about a detective who goes blind but solves cases with a newly heightened sense of taste was rejected as "disgusting", "the stupidest thing we've ever heard", and "we don't validate parking"

The first person to message you after you’ve achieved Inbox Zero goes straight to Hell.

*introducing a friend to Paul Simon* Paul Simon: hi, I'm Al Me: goddamnit Paul Simon

I'll just floss tomorrow

I would like to pass away now

I feel like such a big boy chef when I pour water into rice a roni and it sizzles

Really curious to know if Michael Stipe still feels fine?

it’s driving past schools at full speed szn

sorry im late, my car..[forgets the word for towed] got arrested

We feed you. They hunt us.

Chicago: We have the streets!

I almost made a new friend yesterday, but they failed the written exam

We all need to just be grateful that Jeff Lynne hasn't joined this site yet

If You See Something (a dog wearing a tie), Say Something ("hello handsome").

"LAPD can only search for matches from police-owned arrest records, namely, mugshots. Any federal agent using Clearview or an alternative can take the same footage and run facial images to find matches across photos scraped from social sites. One of Clearview’s best-known federal customers is ICE."

*going to bed early to impress my watch*

I'll just floss tomorrow